With those numbers being donated to GUE, you will over-solve the jewish porn problem.
Because ultimately you will cause the number of jews still suck to be so rediculously low, that you will have to secretly get a bunch of new jews addicted - just to keep the GUE workers in business.
If this does not make any sense to you, then you still have some sanity left.

made perfect sense.

:D Glad to see that you don't have any sanity left...

If you remember the basics, you should be able to go onto any guitar tabs site, and get the tabs to a bunch of your favorite songs. Some you'll be able to play, some you might not - fiddle around, see what happens.

Have you bought yourself an electric guitar yet?

I'm seriously strapped for cash. Plus electric guitars need amps.

Maybe in a month or two.

You can get a beginner's pack for probably under $150.

If you have a friend who knows enough about used gear to help you, you should be able to get a decent guitar and amp for not too much more than that...

In fact, I've got a small practice-amp-type thingie that's not in the best shape, but it plays. i was gonna sell it online, but maybe we can work out some kinda GYE-type deal, and I'll give it to you (through an anonymous intermediary, if you prefer)...

1. PM me about it.

2. More importantly......

I fell.


But it wasn't a big one. Some of you might even call it borderline, but it was just over the line as far as I'm concerned, even if barely. Yes, it is getting easier. I made it to 35 this time (I think), but there's one depressing thought. Come May I will have been here a whole year. And I haven't hit 90 yet. I'm running out of time if I want to get it done in a year.

Now, why did I fall? For one, there's that business going on with that roommate of mine.....school's about to start up again and that's always very stressful.....the whole GYE split probably had something to do with it also. Lot of people fell because of that. I'm not sure why, though. It doesn't make much sense, really.....there was that incident at Penn station last week, which may have had a bigger effect on me than I thought.....applying to grad schools soon....other stressors I don't want to talk about....a possible injury (those ALWAYS get me).....life in general.

On a positive note, my last record was something like 24 days. I don't think I've ever beaten a record by that much before. I'll shoot for 50 next time (or rather, THIS time).

I was actually starting to get a bit emotional these last few days because I was about to hit 5 full weeks clean (yeah, me emotional...I know, I know...but real men cry...seriously). I was starting to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I had, for the first time, REAL HOPE and a real understanding that I could actually do it. It felt a bit like when I first found this oasis in the moral wasteland that we've turned our planet into. There was tangible hope that I, the perv who would literally spend all night on the computer while his body was begging for sleep, the guy who check to see how much more time was left on that sicko clip I was polluting myself with so I could guess when I could get some rest, the guy who couldn't look at a female without thinking absolutely filthy thoughts so long as see was at least somewhat mildly attractive, the guy who couldn't even look a woman in the eyes like a human being out of some inner and subconscious feeling of shame or guilt or self loathing, could actually make it so far and rid myself of this, or at least get it under control. And with that would finally come a little bit of inner peace.

One thing that helped was that other thread that I run. I will continue to do that.


I need to get more serious about working the steps.  It needs to be a daily thing.




Would you believe this song came on just as I was typing this?  "Nuthshell" by Alice in Chains. Fits my mood perfectly.....serendipity...no it isn't metal. The live version might be better.

s0.ilike.com/play#Alice+In+Chains:Nutshell:11884:s302786.8157604.4895999.0.1.67%2Cstd_88749c89e3fbd3129adef63c6e0a3091    (It's just a player in it's own window...don't freak out..ok now I'm rambling).

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

Oooh... Oooh...
Oooh... Oooh...

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead

Oooh... Oooh...
Oooh... Oooh...

Dear Bruce,

Sorry to hear about the fall and congrats on beating your last record. While you may not have reached 90, and possibly may not reach it before May, one thing seems certain from your post and that is that your life has changed dramatically in the last year, so that 90 days is more of a secondary accomplishment, your entire life changing being the primary one! Good luck on your next ride, and may you hit 50!

And by the way, Alice in Chains? sooo good!! That song, Nutshell actually comes from my favorite Alice in Chains album, Jar of Flies. There is another great song on that album "No Excuses" which really speaks to us GYE ppl

It's alright
There comes a time
Got no patience
To search for peace of mind

Laying' low
Want to take it slow
No more hiding
Or disguising truths I've sold

Everyday
Something hits me all so cold
Find me sittin' by myself
No excuses that I know

It's okay
Had a bad day
Hands are bruised from
Breaking rocks all day

Drained and blue
I bleed for you
You think it's funny
Well you're drowning in it too

Everyday
Something hits me all so cold
Find me sittin' by myself
No excuses that I know

Yeah, it's fine
We'll walk down the line
Leave our rain
A cold trade for warm sunshine

You're my friend
I will defend
And if we change
Well I love you anyway

Everyday
Something hits me all so cold
Find me sittin' by myself
No excuses that I know

Good luck on overcoming you post-fall rut, and remember we're all here for you...

PS I can get you some anthrax for that roomate situation of yours

Hey bruce, I've been in your situation many times.
Lemme explain to you something that I learnt.
There's the outer shell and the inner shell.
The outer one includes all things (other than one's own true will) which stop one from falling.
Filters, lack of accessibility, wife, schedule, and all other things like that.
Likewise, psychological things can also be part of the outer shell. Pride, 90/50/40/30 - whatever days behind you, accountability to a group, a pledge to keep, etc.
The inner one includes only ONE thing. That is sheer will.
Our sheer will is ultimately what causes us to create an outer shell, because it understands it's own limitations, and the necessity to avoid it's being tested.
The reason we make such a big deal about forming the outer shell, is because the inner shell alone - is reliable only in very great people.
The outer one protects the inner one from having to protect itself, by not allowing anything to get to it.
It allows the will to "fight from a distance" as it were. You get my drift.
What used to happen to me every time I would go on a streak, would be that (inevitably) I would slip somewhat, somewhere along the line, and that would cause total breakdown of the drive to continue - even though I didn't actually fall.
This doesn't make sense. If I had reason to continue yesterday when I was at DAY 45, then why the heck should there be any less of a reason to continue when I'm at day 1 or 17 or 30, yes slip no slip, who cares! Do I want this or not?
So right now you are experiencing the absence of the outer shell. So you think there's no point - because you can't feel a point.
But in reality, those are just outer reasons. The real reason you want to do this is not so feel-able.
That's why it's so hard to fight with it alone.
You need to rebuild the outer shell, and in the meantime try your hardest to fight with your inner will. 
After a fall you have to be a very great person.
This "no point" business has got to go.
Good luck man.

Nutshell is a great song. And best of all - easy to play!

I think that, at the end of the day, you can see yourself growing. 90 days is a good goal, and one that you can reach - you just need to remind yourself that when the yetzer hora (or you can call it your addiction) comes knocking, that he's a liar, and that although he says you need it, you really, really, really don't.

You're already great, and getting greater! Keep it up!

Rage: I would say that metal is my favorite genre but I listen to all sorts of music. Actually, "Nevermind" was one of the first CDs I ever bought. But once I bought Master of Puppets freshman year of high school.....the rest is history, as they say.

my first album ever? Michael Jackson - Dangerous

My second album ever? Ace of Base -- I don't need to name the album, I don't think they ever made it past the first

I don't know which is more embarrassing....

Oh, I won't even tell you the first CD I bought. I'll tell you my second one (I think) was Metallica's Reload. I liked it, but it wasn't until Master of Puppets that I became a true convert to the metal faith.

BTW, I read somewhere once that Osama bin Laden likes the B52's.  Just sayin...

Reload wasn't really Metallica.... some dybukk got them from Reload and on.... I actually went to the Reload concert in Madison Square Garden, awesome show! They played almost no reload...!

habaletaher wrote on 19 Jan 2010 05:30:


At least Michael Jackson could sing and dance well. I'm not saying I liked his music, but he was at least talented even though he was a rather strange (disturbed?) individual.

I'll just say my first album was also mainstream pop garbage, but not from someone (or someones) as talented as Mr. Jackson. It was so bad and embarrassing to own that I gave it away for free....***shudders at the memories.....the horrid, horrid, memories*****

If it wasn't Metallica, people wouldn't hate on Load and Reload so much. They're decent albums for what they are. But what they are not is vintage, head-bangin' 'Tallica.

St. Anger is the only Metallica album I have never heard in its entirety. I was so put off by the singles on the radio and whatnot that I just can't even look at that album.

Death Magnetic is a step in the right direction, but they have a ways to go before reclaiming themselves. And Jame's voice ain't what it used to be. Sounds a bit thin on DM. I don't know if that's a production issue or what.