guardureyes wrote on 23 Jun 2009 17:52:


Gosh, that's funny!  But, would you consider making some modifications for those of us who prefer country music?  After all, "rap music" is an oxymoron!  :D

I think I'm in the beginning stages of withdrawal. It's not bad yet, but I can feel it coming on. Irritability, a little depression, all that stuff.

By the way, 11.

I didn't really get any help this morning when a whole busload (literally) of 18-19 year old girls unloaded half a block away from me this morning (remember I'm 22, so they're kinda "available"). Geeez......
And then a few of them had to come into the store I was in. Two in particular were super-knockouts. You know, the kind that make you hate your life. NOT FAIR.
I'm convinced that girls like that tend to go to public places in pairs, just to make your life twice as hard.

BUT I'M STILL GOING.

Thank God that bus didn't unload directly in front of that store. Otherwise I would have been in a lot of trouble. Leaving that store would have been like swimming through a sea of temptation. I'm a good swimmer, but that one would have drowned me. I got lucky. 

if you are entering the withdrawal stage, hold on tight, baby, and dont forget to fasten your seat belt! you're in for the ride of your life!

Bruce, you are a knockout!

As I posted on my thread - I have a similar problem as you. The responses to you also prompt me to act in the safe and respectful way suggested.
One of the praises of (even a bad ) wives  - is Matzilatu min HaCheyt. They save Husband from sin. These bits of advice, highlight the fact that not only by partaking of the heter of intimicay with my wife, I have a a lessened desire for sin, Pat beSalo, But a much higher level of Chomas Nashim Bonta Baisa - A wise women builds her home.
Her innate wisdom, which you so cleverly described is the tool HaShem gave her to help her husband.

Ultimately, this is a test of my relationship with my wife. This is a hard test. Especially regarding sexual issues, and especially since I  feel impure, and wrong. I am afraid she'll "find out" so how can we even really communicate clearly? The static on my side of the line will be appparent.

Maybe when she realizes how much I care for her, and am willing to "bother" myself so that she won't get hurt, and to protect her - she will reciprocate by willingly wanting to share in the burden. The wife of Abba Chilkiya the great Tzaddik - would go out to meet him on the edge of town, taking care to dress up to find favor in his eyes, so that he wouldn't Chas vShalom think about any other women.

Halevay my wife would dress up for me, every day when I come home!

I don't mean to blame her or any wife for my problem, rather to show that the relationship is lacking. If I take all the energy that I "invested" in P*** and living a double life, and poured it into our relationship - WOW would my wife feel loved.

If I would look and gaze at her, pondering her every beautiful quality - like the song Eishes Chayil does, one letter after another  - would she feel cherished?

Could I invest in beholding my woman's beauty for hours and hours on end? I know I can

I will try this Shabbos eve...

Chaim,

As you accumulate day after day of cleanliness, your marital relationship will, IY"H, improve in numerous ways.  For one thing, you will feel better about yourself, and be able to look your wife in the eyes, both during times of intimacy and otherwise.  Your desire for her will also be stronger and healthier.

Chazak v'Ematz!  A wonderful Shabbos to all.

Uh, you sure you're posting in the right thread? I'm single.

By the way, 12.

Bruce,

I'm not sure why Chaim put that post on your thread, but I was responding to his post.

I got that much. I was responding to Chaim also. I was wondering why he posted that. Doesn't seem to fit.

Wow! Reb Guard!

So you know how to Rap

Your Sense of Humor comes with a Snap

Anything else we don't know of that you have under your Cap?

ok! at least give me an E for Effort.

E.L.

Sorry Bruce - I might have confused where I was posting.
But Maybe I was set off by your comment that seem to show how we often just look at women as things instead of appreciating their qualities as people.
You may be gaining wisdom now - that will help you when you marry.
Keep on moving forward

Chart updated Bruce, KUTGW!

Chaim,

I think we are hardwired, down in our most instinctive and basic and animalistic parts of our brains, to view women as objects that will spread our seed. It's like a survival mechanism. The hard part is rising above that, as we humans are meant to do.




Guard,

KUTGW= Keep Up The Good Work?


14, assuming I make it through the end of the day.
But it's starting to get harder. Which means that progress is being made.

Dear Hellbent, read tool #8 of the GYE handbook. No one said these 90 days will be easy. You are learning to break an addictive pattern that you have developed over many years. But you can ask those who made it, it really does get much easier after 90 days, often even before... Did you ever read through this page?