Keep striving for Life, Chaim.
It was great to meet the person behind the voice on the phone last Thursday night. Hatzlocho with your own battle and in helping your son.


Live long and prosper,


Blind Beggar.

Things are going very well for me.


RH was awakening, I had been feeling numb. I am alert and on the alert. BH sqeaky clean for over a month, but on the watch not to get overconfident.


I would like to mention a trick. I like chess. I like playing against the computer. So instead of wasting time with looking for sites or bits and pieces of things not tzanua - I waste time playing chess. I found out that the big problem is the yezer to waste time, not to look at bad sights (sites).
Very comforting to know that I don't really like those sights, I am just under pressure an looking for a way to pass the time.
I think that posting on the forum is a similar medicine. Using the computer is a habit, so use it for good things.


I even let myself go overboard sometimes - but just chess. This dried up previous bad habits, and now I don't really have a taste even for chess, though I am prepared to play in order to waste time, and let off pressure if need be.


Not the best, but better to be smart and win the battle than bang my head against the wall and go crazy over being defeated totally.

Keep on playing chess and keeping clean, Chaim.
  Even though the queen is the most powerful piece, Dov keeps telling us not to see women as being goddesses who we have to react to every time we see one or think of one. The bishop is really a rebbe but the goyim don't know that. A pawn is the weakest piece, but if you advance him to the other end of the board and don't get side tracked with porn, he can become anything you want.
  And Chaim, a month clean makes you into a knight in Hashem's army.

I am doing well. I am trying to stay away from time wasters, because they can lead themselves to shmutz. It is pretty clear tho' that the main thing for me is avoiding pressures, and running away in my mind to relaxation. Keeping the activity muttar, is the goal. Also, actively seeking out activities that calm me.
When I feel that I don't find anything so pleasurable in Shmutz, I think to myself, well: Are you LeHachis - are you going to do something wrong with your eyes, in order to rebel against G-d? NO!


BH this is a thought that always has woken me up.


So I would like to let others know - when the pleasure is not intense, you are tired, bored already from the aveira stuff - just think - am I so much against HaShem that I would do this stuff, without real enjoyment?


I think that most gyes, feel that the enjoyment wanes after an initial first rush, very shortly.


The thought in itself, that I AM NOT AGAINST G-D, is a very precious one,and will serve anyone well.

Thanks for sharing Chaim.

Chaim wrote on 27 Oct 2011 13:58:


Oh yes Chaim, you can say that again. I usually stop enjoying it before I've even finished with it. Phooee.