יום רביעי 9 ניסן 5770

This is my new journal of recovery from PA here on this site.  May HaShem bless this journal and all who visit it.

I am new to this site, but not to recovery from PA.  I will share more of my background in this journal as time goes by, I'm sure.  Today is another good day in recovery.  No urges, no middle circle temptations, no Mb, no P (of course).

My scripture study was of the fourth portion of this week's parshat, Tzav.

I am super busy with work today.  I'm sorry that I don't have more time for posting, especially as this is my first journal posting here.

Welcome home Tzadik!!!

Its great to have an ex- addict to help others and be helped.

Tell us all how you got here , single/married, and any other info you would like to share, so that we can get to know you better.

Its great to have you!

BeStrong88

Dear 1dayatatime,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

On GYE you will learn how to "hit bottom while still on top". Don't wait for the addiction to destroy your life. To explain better what I mean, see this page.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Things are going well again today.  No urges, no middle circle, no Mb, no P.  Communications between my Sweetie(my wife) and I are open, frank and good.  I am soooo busy these days.  I have a full time jobs, 3 hours of commute each day, graduate class one day a week, serving as chair on a community board (which takes about 20 hours a month), week Toastmaster meetings (and I am the club Secretary).  Note to self, remember to put reminder to breath on "to do" list.  

Scripture study done for today, section five of Parshat Tzav.  I will also read more from "Musar for Moderns" by Rabbi Elyakim Krumbein today.

Hope to have time for more posting later.

Logistics note, will create a new ticker banner for signature and add to profile.

Just a quick post, on Friday's I have limited time for posting.  Things are going well in recovery.  No P, no Mb, no staring, no middle circle, no urges.

I won't post again until after Shabbat.  Of course, there are all the Pesach preparations to do over the next few days.

Speaking of Pesach, I found this video on the Frumtube linked site, http://frumtube.com/play.php?vid=360

Robots celebrating Pesach!
"Frumbots"!!
LOL
:D

I'm doing well again today.  No urges, no middle circle, no Mb, no P.  I am busy today with homework and preparations for Pesach, of course.

Boruch Hashem! Good to hear. You must have a plan for G-d Forbid when you DO get an urge.

BeStrong88 wrote on 28 Mar 2010 19:47:

I have plans in place and refined them as needed.  My current area of concern is only when my wife is out of town and I am alone and missing her.  Those times are few and I am addressing them too.

I am doing well again today.  My scripture reading is on track, of course.  No urges, no middle circle, no Mb, no P.  I have selected the topic of Nedivut for my weekly Mussar study.

I'm doing well.  Some minor urges, I routed them.  No M/C, no Mb, no P.

Today marks another clean month.  I have been completely clean all of March.
:D

1dayatatime wrote on 31 Mar 2010 23:18:


MAZEL TOV, thats great news I'm sure you are extremely pleased with yourself(you should be).
Since this is the time of ridding oneself of from the chains of slavery and the subsequent freedom of the Torah (Shavout)
You have a lot of assistance, keep it up! I'm receiving alot of chizuk!

Another good day in recovery.  I have been very busy lately with work, school and other things.  So much so that my stress level is elevated.  Yet I am aware that increased stress level could be a problem.  I have exercised my recovery plan for such times.  That plan includes consistency in scripture sutdy, prayer, and maintenance of diet and exercise routines.

No MC, no Mb, no P.  Some minor urges, which were quickly put down and eliminated.

1dayatatime wrote on 01 Apr 2010 21:48:


Do you mind explaining what is meant by MC?

BeStrong88 wrote on 01 Apr 2010 22:23:

MC is an abbreviation for "middle circle".  Middle circle refers to middle circle behavior.  Addictive behavior models describe inner, middle and outer circles.  Inner circle is outright addictive behavior, outer refers to non-addictive behavior.  Middle circle refers to behavior that isn't literally matching the addictive model but is dangerous and could lead to it.  It is terminology from 12 step methodology. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_circles

Hey, hey, ho, ho, this addiction has to go.

I am still good and strong after the weekend.  I had some stress because of a graduate course final project that was due.  I got it done.  The course final is tonight after work.

We have out of town company.  My DIL and her family, including two 8 yo boys and a 15 month old girl.  Our poor cat has taken up to hiding under the bed cowering.  He is such a wussy.  :D  :

No recovery issues.  I am working my plan.  This week's Mussar trait I will be focusing on is Emet.