Hi everyone! I am so happy to be a part of this community. Struggling alongside my brothers in arms. Together we're so much stronger.

I am going to use this post to healthily express my emotions instead of keeping them bottled up and to myself. Please check in with my postings and reply with any comments, questions, advice, constructive criticism, whatever. I'm pretty certain that feedback is an important tool in my growth.

So it's Monday, March 22. I went to bed pretty late last night and it messed with my morning routine. Yetzer Hara won that scuffle, but I feel great bc despite my semi-comatose state, I made it to Shacharis and learned afterwards (like I do almost every day).

Finished Shacharis and went to meet a friend at the local kollel. He wasn't there bc of the weather/car trouble so I headed back home with the intentions of having a phone conference.

I knew there would be a big test waiting for me. Why you ask??? Because I have 2 computers with no filters, and nobody was home. I figured I would just get through it by talking with my friend and eating some breakfast to distract me and keep me busy, but every time I swatted down that little nagging voice it kept coming back. Oy Tatie what have I done! I feel so empty and dirty. I was weak. I'm not going to let the yetzer hara continue to win though. I'm jumping right back on my stallion and galloping straight on to spiritual success! I'm stilll very tired today, but I refuse to be a tool for the sitra achra to destroy this world. I choose to be part of the solution - not the problem.

So of course I know I need to get a filter for my internet. I tried K-9 web protection. I came clean to my kind, understanding aishes chayil and told her she needed to own the password. Then it made my computer and internet slower. It bothered her and it was annoying for me as well. I know I need it though. I keep thinking of the picture of the guy on the cliff from the website that says "surfing the web without a filter is like this guy" I don't want to be that guy - I mean I would love to be rock climbing like that for the thrill and the exhiliration bc I'm an adrenaline junkie like that, but It's utterly insane to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. My goal is that BEFORE PESACH, I want to have a solid safeguard in place to remove the option of seeing pornographic material on my computer. I am asking for help. Whoever is reading this, please help me. I really need some viable options.

Thanks for reading and have a fantastic day. G-d willing I will post here pretty frequently as a log book of my journey.

SD

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for me, what am I? And if not now, WHEN?  - Hillel

HEY, SD!!

Welcome, ma man!!

I'm glad you're here. WE COUD ALL USE A LOT OF SIYATA DISHMAYA!! So post often, please!!

Sent you a PM.

Dear Siyata Dishmaya,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community!

I heard that Netnanny is pretty good... There are many other filter options. See our filter page here for over 20 options... Also, especially important is accountability software like webchaver or eBlaster that sends a daily report to two partners. If you don't hold the password, there's no way you can disable it.

But remember, the filters are only a "heker". The change needs to come from within.

May Hashem give you the strength to leave your personal mitzrayim and come closer to him.

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

SD
Welcome

Grab a chair
Here have a glzel woodford I will cut a shtikkl lekach

Lchaim

Yes pesach would be nice

Goals are good if if
You use them as motivators

If not forget the goal

And do it for today

For yourself

Chill

Rome wasn't built in a day


The only thing you need to do (after the schnappps and doubles on the cake)

Is change yyour goals

Make mini goals

Mini itsy pitsy goals

Sounds so babyish?

Especially when everyone is so phillly-sofikal

It is babyish

But that's were growth comes from

Jump on my truck well crank up the music

KEEP ON.  TRUCKING!!