Rabbi A.J Twerski sent me something just last night. I am sure Hashem had it in mind for you:

There was an incident that taught me something about turning to Hashem for help:

At a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in Jerusalem, one man who was seven years sober related that he had resisted AA because it was God-oriented, and he was an atheist.

"One day", he said, "I was walking along the beach in Tel Aviv, thinking whether I should just walk into the ocean and end it all. I had nowhere to go. My wife threw me out of the house. In desperation, I looked toward the sky and shouted, "If You're up there, then help me!"
And He helped me. Now, with the help of G-d, I am seven years sober."

When I heard this, I thought of the verse in Tehillim: "Hashem is close to all who call upon Him, who call upon Him in truth".
That's the clincher: in truth.

Twerski

Yakv_Shwartz once posted his story, and I quote an excerpt from when he was in midst of the addiction:

During my first year of marriage, I would stand for long amounts of time at the top of a very tall building, ready to jump. I just asked Hashem to take my life. I can't bare this anymore. I would get on a bus, and daven to Hashem for there to be an accident and I will get killed. I will first cast away my problems, do teshuva and vidui. This way I can die with teshuva.

Today Yakov is the Rosh Yeshiva of the GYE Beis Medrash and has inspired hundreds of people on this forum with his posts!

So take HOPE.

Thank you  guard,  for your kindness and your caring!!!

the following always is good for a quick pick-me-up,  an oldie but a goodie:

Footsteps In The Sand

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with Hashem
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the RIBONO SHEL OLOM.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the RIBONO SHEL OLOM about it:
"Master of the World, Tatteh in Himmel, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The RIBONO SHEL OLOM replied:
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Author unknown

I always loved that poem so much, since I'm a child. I've been looking for it. Thanks for posting it!

Today with help of Hashem is day 76 on my sobriety journey. Mat the Almighty continue to carry me and all my "pekalach" in His right hand, and may He preserve and protect me and all Yiddeshe kinderlach from spiritual and physical harm!!

AMEIN!!!

NB,

Yes! It is a very powerful Poem.

Yonoson Schwarts has it song in Yidish on his Sefirah album Chazak #1

I highly recommend listening to it.

E.L.

EL i don't remember ever hearing that song -I love Yonason Schwartz, he is a brilliant composer with a gorgeous voice with tremendous hartzigkiet [heart] (hartzigkietlooses something in translation, doesn't it? :D)

i have had the tremendous zchus to hear Rabbi Tzvi M Zilberberg l for the first time, during his current stay in the States.
the only reason i went was because so many tzadikim on this forum keep talking about him, so i said to myself "don't be a fool , go what do u have to loose.

WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!! the YID IS ABSOLUTELY ON FFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE

the main topic was ................u guessed it והתחזקתם
chizuk chizuk and only chizuk
we need to get constant chizuk !!!!
we need to give each other constant chizuk !!!

he also said a brilliant thought (I'm not sure if it was his own or was quoting others)
that the  worry about that maybe the Almighty is "upset" or angry at us at us because of our past sins or maybe  we are not meeting our full potential,  if we worry that there is any lessening of the Infinite love of קודשא בריך הוא> that could be included in the sin of the meraglim when they proclaimed בשנאת ה אותנו that Hashem hates us
ו!!!!!!!!!!!הדברים עמוקים ונוקבים עד התהום!!!!!!!!!!! ------ועל זה ידוו כל הדווים

noora I can feel your excitement

I can almost see REB TZVI MEIR SHLITTA saying those holy words


can you be so kind and translate it for the common folk

love
bardichev

Bardichev mein tiera baliebta chaver,
Ich bin ein pushte Yid- how can I translate anything that Reb Zvi Meir said!! But to see him bvchinas oraisoh who d'krosach bei [the fire of torah is burning inside him] that is something that if I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it!! Could be seeing the Tzadik on fire while he spoke is a tikun for the p'gomie riyah! Who knows! Either way I felt a little bit that I was witnessing a fulfillment of the dictum of chazal "just like the Torah was given in FIRE so is the learning it supposed to be with FIRE!
He also mentioned how a person should give chizuk to the "shteeb" ie ones spouse, which made a big impression me. Sometimes we are so busy encouraging others, when we forget that our dearest and closest need the most encouragement the old "charity begins at home"
The greater they are the more thoughtful they are
A very very pushte PROUD Yid
NB

Today is day 77 of the "Journey of the rest of my life".

I borrow the term that Yosef told Paaroh- "bilodei" without I, without the "I".

Only when I truly, deeply, sincerely realize that I am not doing the fighting, do I have a fighting chance!!!


"For I am Hashem your G-d who raised you out of land of Egypt".  if Hashem is the only "I" (-as He proclaimed from the midst of the fire on that great day...I am Hashem your G-d.....the only "Anoichy" is I Hashem) Then and only then will He/HAshem  raise me now as then, out of the "tumah" of mitzraim.

My sobriety and consequently very life depends on this!!
NB

Beautiful and powerful!

Day 78- with the hope and prayer that I never ever forget,    that its not  "I" that is sober xx amount of days, rather Hashem in His infinite kindness is is granting me these precious days of sobriety.

The day I think that it is I noorah, winning the battle is the day I noorah will fall !!!!!!

not maybe, not probably-  but surely without any shadow of doubt whatsoever! I Noorah will be right back in the sewers!!!

Thank You Hashem and thank you GUE,  and thanks to  all the holy briderlach on this site for sharing you triumphs, your wisdom, your struggles  and yes even your disappointments :'( (which is the most difficult thing in the world to share).

with eternal love to all my holy briderlaach
NB

fall shmall you are whipping the Y"H

78 days that is tremendous I am going to buy another bottle of wood ford soon...

chazak chazak
b