Noorah BAmram wrote on 11 Jun 2009 22:29:


I knew you were referring to that gemara and playing on those words.  And as I stated above the real words are "pashta kedusha b'kulo". That y'h is so tricky, he even has his own BM with his own chiddushim.  :D 

Noorah BAmram wrote on 11 Jun 2009 22:44:


I also desired to this for so long, and finally when I did I was flying high.  I did not only recharge my batteries but I was given stronger batteries.

Please continue to share your experiences; it gives great inspiration to us all.

Good Morning to all my dear and holy brothers,
Today erev shabbos kodesh with the help of Hashem is day 66 of the journey.

Yesterday I had humdinger of a day with the highlight being a "guest" at the Emergency Room with one of children. With the Help and abundant Mercy of Hashem it turned out to be just a terrible scare and he was released and he is doing fine now.

I'm a bundle and jumble  of emotions and it will time to sort them out. In retrospect, if I wouldn't be on this road to recovery and were it not for the "chaburah kadisha" this "holy fellowship" I shudder to think!! Were this to happen when in the clickin n surfin mode I probably would have lost it altogether!!

So tiereh breeder thank you all from the bottom of my heart, Thank You just for being on this forum, thank you for all the priceless wisdom that u share every time u post. Thank you for giving me chizuk, simcha and most of all HOPE!!!!!
With humilty
NB

Oy,How can I forget that the most important thank you to the "heilega guard" for ..... more then you will ever know!!!
MAZAL TOV on the new website!!!!
Guard, without a shadow of doubt you will be the website that Moshiach will announce his arrival;) on second thought, this is the website that the geualh has already begun, this is website that is a fulfillment of that holy prophecy
"and he will turn ...the hearts of the children onto the fathers"!!!
With tears of HOPE.
Nb

First of all I'm happy to hear that all is well with your child.

Second, Yes I agree that this is the begining of the Geulla not only for what you said but it is a Instant Geulla for are souls that were locked up behind the bars of Lust.

Third, Regarding Kivrei Tzadikim. I just got back from a short trip to Israel to do just that. I have to tell you I cried my heart out all over the place especially at Mammeh Rochel its was so amazingly uplifting. I got some heavy stones off my heart which makes it much easier to now climb the mountain.

Git Shabbos
Efshar Letaken

Quick Post,
Are the there any greater distance then the distance from the mind to the heart!!
Vkyodato hayom v'hashevosa el levovecha..

Noora, I updated your chart to 65 days. Level 6 coming up. Keep inspiring us!

Today the bal-duver paid me a visit by reminding me (with a sense of longing:( I must confess ) about a certain one of his cess-sites that I used to wallow around in. Chasdie Hashem I said to him "GO GO" as  if I was stamping my foot at a pesky cat "scat scat" and gone he went!! For now at least.

I'm reminded of the parable the GUE attitude book about the Moishke the jewish innkeeper who closed up shop. Whenever the shikurim would bang on his door, not knowing that Moishke was no longer in business,0 Moishke would just shout from behind the closed "SCRAM I'm outa business". Eventually the shikeerim stopped coming!!!!

I pray to Hashem that the SHIKKUR the MENUVEL  stops banging on my door and this Moishke is CLOSED remains closed forever. Amen kien yhee rutzon!!!

WOW. It is posts like this Noora, that really inspire us all to keep strong!! Thank you and keep sharing your amazing Avodah!

Thanks guard for you kind words!
2day with the help of Hashem is day 68.  May the Almight-y continue to protect each and everyone of His holy warriors on this forum.

Today is Sunday and in the past Sundays have been the most difficult days. Most of previous falls have always begun on a Sunday. in order to preempt the menuvel I'm posting my(battle) plan for today with the hope that  it will give me the impetus, the extra push no to fall in a depression and then from there its only a very short distance into the abyss!!
With the help of Hashem:
I will do a hal ph hour on my bike.
2 work related items at the office.
No surfing the news sites, which I find the emptiness and shallowness of it all leave me with a tremendous feeling of "nothingness".

I will go to a certain BM that I find pleasant and spend some time there.
If time allows I will go to Home Depot for some thing that I need in the house.
If I still have time then maybe I will have the decency and mechlichkiet to help my wife with household chores, as she is extremely overwhelmed and busy with a work related project.
Ok so long for now, I must get busy, there is a lot to do today;D
With love to all
NB

Today is day 69 of the journey of the rest of my life! Imust never forget the words of chazal "ilmulei HKBH oizroi lo yocol lo" were it no for the help of HKBH there is absolutly no winning of the battle with the menuvel!!!

With great humilty for the past and fervent tefila for the future, with the greatest repect and love to all my fellow warriors and yedidim
I remain
NB

Recently I read an idea in the big blue book that spoke to me very loud.
In the chapter "how it works" we run our lives on what the book calls "self propulsion" meaning in mama lushon "altz iz zich" I I I I will do this and I will do that. We want to be the "producers" in the drama we call life, when all we really are, is " actors" in the Almight-y's drama. He and only He is The Producer and in charge of everything in this show, from the scenery to the lighting, to deciding which actor gets what part, easy or difficult. All He expects from us is to follow the "Script"ure He handed us.

How simple, how brilliant, how difficult!!!!

Today Tatteh I will try to play just my little part

wow, that's beautiful. (The blue book is the big book?)

Yes Guard the Big Book of AA.
Here is the actual text of what i was referring to in the previous post.

“The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. “

PG 60-61 in the Big Book

Day 70 with the kindness of Hashem!

One of the reasons the idea- that are we are just actors in the Almighty's "show"- means so much to me is because one of the greatest triggers for me is the overwhelming stress of having to meet the payrolls on the 15th and 30th of each month. The constant stress and pressure of worrying about the "bank balance" drove me to escape in the nether nether worlds of internet p**n. It was there that I found refuge(albeit only a temporary refuge) from the overwhelming pressure of my day to day existence.

If only I can internalize this idea that I don't run the show, only He does!!! My "part" is to do the best I can!! The best I can without having to resort to escapism in "tumas hathoim"!!

How simple!! How difficult!!
NB

heilige noorah

I love the picture it is a rashi in this weeks parsha

bardichev