I'll bet you the real Tzadikei nistarim don't even know they are... Like me, for example. I had no idea until Nura mentioned it. Really.  :D

:D

NORRAH NISTAR
WHERE ARE YOU HIDING??

Regarding the timely topic of atzvus/depression and the three weeks:

My grandmother used to quote the Germans ym"s as saying "der mut farloiren is ain alles farloiren" meaning when a person looses his "mood" he looses all, he looses everything!!

Tchilas nfila nisa....

From my enemies tactics I gain strategies and cunning.........

The germans main focus was to destroy the "mut"!

The YH main focus is to rob us and destroy our "mood" our joy de vivre!! our Simchas Hachaim!!

Ironically the seforim hakdoshim write (Nesivos Shalom etc) that the YH end goal is not the aveirah per se, rather his main goal is  the "down" feeling, the "hangover" that comes afterwards.

This is  where and what the YH wages all out war.........
"the battle of the MOOD", cause as  quoted "der mut farloiren is ein alles farloiren"!!!!

Ich red tzi zich;)

Love and hugs
Noorah

bs"d

Noora,

thank you so much for this story and your insights!

I had a moment of [b]"LET GO - LET G_D"clarity yesterday that i want to share, one of those moment when the whole blackness of the night gets lit up for a few seconds by the lightning.

most times I feel that all the knowledge an understanding that i have regarding bitachon and emunah is just that, daas - knowledge- no hashava lleiv at all.

talk the talk? sure, like the biggest of tzadikim but when it comes time to actually walk the walk .........................

Yesterday i was feeling the weight of the whole entire world on my shoulders  

When all of a sudden....lightning flashed b4 me......hitting my forehead with my hand, I said  to myself "hey wait a minute here Noorah you little shnook , your body with all its millions of details is working just fine all these years - may the Almighty continue to watch over all of us  - and that is without to much  input from you, so why do you think that the Almighty needs your help now BALANCING THE DAR* CHECKBOOK?"  ??? ???

??? ????? ??? ???? ?????

He Who gives life gives Sustenance

With Fiery Love to all
Noorah

Right On Nura Right On!

bs"d

Barukh HaShem for those moments of clarity!!! 

Another thought;

My worry about the future is linked to a  misconception regarding the past.

If my past accomplishments was all "I", then "I" need to worry about the future. If however  the past was not "I" rather all by the grace of Hashem, then

Daagah menayin
Ad heinah azarunu rachemieche vlo azuvono chasadecha, val titsheinee hashem elikeinee lunetzach...

What a beautiful song!

Thru the kindness of my Creator today is 15 weeks on the journey of sobriety. 
Vaani Tefilah, Master of the world continue to carry me in Your right hand!!

Burning love to all

Noorah

I need to share the following "Let Go -Let G-d:

The last few weeks at work has been "crisis mode" for me!! The details not important. I was literally "oved eitzos"! I had turned to people who in the past had helped me out and one by one they all couldn't help this time. (U see the need to work out the resentments! heh?!!)

Everything looked so hopeless and bleak that I can't even describe it!

I started to speak directly to the Almight-y at the end of shmoneh esrei (maybe other times also, I don't remember) and I told the Ribono shel Olam exactly that "Tateh in Himmel, I'm oved eitzos, please help" I said this over and over.

Yesterday out of "nowhere" (meaning no visible or direct correlation to any hishtadlus/effort on my part) the Almight-y sent me  a yeshua thru one  of his "agents" ................. With the following message attached
"my dearest sweetest precious child Noorah, you are never ever "oved eitzos"!!
Love,
Your Tateh in Himmel

Now I have to add something, I share the previous, with the greatest of humility and not chas v'shalom with an ounce of arrogance, as if  I'm worthy or deserving of anything or any accolades! I really was "oved eitzos"< and  it is  a frighting experience! But maybe maybe  its also the  only way His  "message" will get thru.

I also shared this because I feel that if I didn't share this, I would be a kofoy tov! As if I took it for granted!! Like OK, next!  

Deepest LOVE to all
Noorah

bs"d

Gevalt!!!

koll zman shehaneshama bkirbi

modeh ani lfanecha!!!!

so too kalo zmann shehanesham bkirbi

ELOKAI NESHAMA SHENASATA BEE

TEHORA HEE!!!

with all the love in the world

YOU CAN DO IT
bardichev

the rebbe in his few words is deep deep!!!!
עמוק עמוק מי ימצאנו

Nura, it's amazing. I have the same experience almost every month when I have NO IDEA how I'll get through the month, somehow a miracle happens every time. This has been going on since I'm married (13 + years!!)

Hashem gave us the Mann, one day at a time to train us in Emunah. We have no idea what will be tomorrow, but sure as day, the next morning, there is the mann, gleaming white on the desert floor.

Say thank you Tatte for the TRAINING!! (easy to tell someone else  ;D)