Hahaha! Thanks!

I think it's also good that you're looking forward to being busy and not having time for things you don't want to do...

sure is, there is the israeli day parade, i will be going to new york for sunday and a monday, there is Shavuas i am getting my braces off , which hopefully help with my self esteem and confidence, and my cousins from new york are visiting for labor day weekend it should be good

this morning i asked my dad to put a filter on my laptop, i was really nervous before i asked but i finally just calmly went to him and asked i did not say much and he agreed to do it. i am not happy only because i don't know how long he is going to push it off i wanted him to do it right than but he said he would do it later and that if i could do my schoolwork with out it i should do it. but at least he agreed to do it at all, i don't think there is any hope of him putting one on his, when my brother asked if he could do work on my dads computer while his was down my dad fixed his very quickly, he does not want anyone on his computer so for him there is no reason why he would need a filter on it, no one is allowed on it and i have my own so if  you look at it from his perspective there is no reason for a filter but at least i will have one on my computer.

Glad to hear it - you're protecting yourself as best you can, and that's the important thing.

You are truly amazing!

i am reading inapropriate stuff, not por* but inapropriate just came here to give my self a minute to think and than off to bed

Smart man - get some sleep!

And yeah, in a way, inappropriate stuff can be more dangerous, because it doesn't have that same red flag that straight-up po^% does. So we can try to convince ourselves that it's really OK...

Glad to hear that you're not doing that - you rock!

The 'filter' news is the best thing I've heard you report in a long time. Gutsy, risky, scary, yet at the same time powerful and positive and G-d-fearing.  Shkoiach.

As to reading 'inappropriate' things, I'll share one recent personal account. I was at a (non-Jewish) graduation ceremony. It was warm weather, young graduates, mostly younger friends and audience members, etc. In other words, girls with dresses SO short you had to figure they were saving up to get the rest of the skirt out of layaway. Necklines, well, no necklines! And I found myself really distracted.

In the past, I don't think this would have bothered me. Now, it's driving me crazy. (Yes, guys, I do mean women driving me crazy. 'Nuff said.) Instead of getting all down on myself, I realized that this GYE work is indeed making my eyes MORE sensitive to erotic overtones, not less so. It's not that I'm more creepy, it's that I've become more pure/edel/whatever.

So now I feel I have to be MORE concerned about "merely" inappropriate circumstances that aren't overt p**nography. And in more settings than before.

But funny thing is, I think this is a GOOD sign.

If there's any chance this might be happening to you, you might want to think about "upgrading" your reading material. As you upgrade your thought patterns, the old G-rated movies and books because PG in your eyes; PG into PG-13, etc.

Just a thought. Again, congrats on the filter conversation with your dad!!

hi chazak amenu (good song by the way)

i was reading your post and cant tell you how glad i am that HBH brought me to this sight, so i could meet people like yourself, im only a bit older than you so havent got much life experiance but can tell you one thing from reading your posts...YOU WILL GO PLACES!!! to strive to get rid of this addiction at such a young age, working on your middos and getting close to Hashem youve truely made me see the real beauty of a yids neshoma!

imaine how your life will be once the addiction is clear and lonmg gone, with all the yeasrs ahgead to become so so great (even more so than now) i only wish i could have had your devecus!!! please at least HBH let me one day merit children with such a beautiful, genuine nature and kind heart as yours!

, so lets throw this addcition away forever and keep on growing!!...

I don't know if i have such a bright future...we have been away for a few days but i feel like i got the hard part out of the way in terms of the filter hopefully he will install it tomorrow or next few days at least i know its coming.

I fell, just wanted to update here. Thanks DovInIsrael for talking with me you are a big help, feeling in the dumps now but hopefully i can get going, i know i need to spend a lot less time on the internet i have to set guidelines, no  youtube unless i know it is clean only NBA and Gyardyoureyes that it!

Fell Shmell, you're back up now!

3-days of mind haze...

dont worry it will clear!

just like the fog over the lake.

"Dad? You know that filter you offered to reinstall on my laptop? Well, er, um, I was hoping if I could help you install it now? I don't really know how to say this, but I'd feel better if I knew that only appropriate stuff was coming onto the screen. If now's not good, could we do it tomorrow, maybe at about 8:30? Thanks."

'Nuff said? You're gonna make it, kid.

Briut, If you don't think i am planning on that...well i think you do! i am going to "hock him a chinick" (don't know how to spell it) i am getting that filter! i also realize that the biggest reason i fall is when i get behind in work but more on that later.