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Chazak Amenu's climb

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TOPIC: Chazak Amenu's climb 14207 Views

Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 05:36 #70721

Eye.nonymous OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2696 Karma: 15	Before you open up to your parents, I would ask: Do you generally get along with them? Do you generally have open and respectful communication, or do you usually have arguments? I want to give a word of caution that, if you generally don't get along, "opening up to them," isn't a magic cure to heal your relationship. And, it could possibly make things worse. --Eye.
	Visit me at Eye.nonymous official countAnd also check out Additional Tools for recovery Last Edit: by .

Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 12:56 #70758

Chazak Amenu
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Thank Hashem i do get along with my parents. my mom keeps saying i can tell her anything and last night i hear news that shook our whole family and my mom made sure to tell my brother and sister that we can tell her or my father anything. also it has been recommended to me because i feel it would be easier to talk to my mother that i should do that first and maybe even get advice on how to tell my dad along with the support of my mom. also like has been mentioned to me is to not show them my user name and story. But i do want to show them GYE i would tell them not to go to the wall of honor section. these are just a few of my many thoughts. i am going to keep thinking about it and soon i am going to write the general idea of what i am going to say.

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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 13:11 #70759

Chazak Amenu Current streak: 378 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 526 Karma: 0	Ok, here is my thinking now, I feel like i want to tell my mom tonight...but i already feel myself pulling out, and becoming afraid, I really want to do it! I don't see any point in waiting much longer i don't want it to drag out. I am already nervous at the prospect.
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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 13:16 #70760

Chazak Amenu Current streak: 378 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 526 Karma: 0	wow every minute that goes by, i am feel less and less like i want to do it! I think its the best thing, but i am backing out of it!
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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 13:41 #70763

Chazak Amenu Current streak: 378 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 526 Karma: 0	WOW i really don't think i can do it! I can't even imagine it! Maybe i will not do it tonight and i will wait a week or so...
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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 14:47 #70775

7yipol Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder YES HE CAN! Posts: 4686 Karma: 12	Good luck CA, we are here for you regardless of what you decide
	Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM" Last Edit: by .

Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 17:01 #70794

Chazak Amenu Current streak: 378 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 526 Karma: 0	Thank you 7up, my mom came home a few minutes and we were talking about the news we heard and i am feeling a bit stronger...i might chicken out but maybe if i do it will only take one more mind changing thing...
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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 18:12 #70800

oneday Current streak: 4 days OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Karma: 0	STAY STRONG whatever the outcome is. No matter how your mom(/dad) respond it will be for the best of you. Hashem is only going to do what is best for you and is not here to come and destroy you. Remember to say some tehillim before you go to your parents! May you be successful in what you do!
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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 18:38 #70806

Chazak Amenu
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ok, here is a rough draft of what i am going to say tonight IF i do go ahead and tell my mom.

I am going to make sure that we are left alone and have our privacy.
here goes something.

"Mom you said i could tell you anything. This is very hard and difficult for me to do but because of recent events i feel i should tell you what is going on with me. You know how i have been depressed and moody recently? Well even though i have told you it is nothing that was not the truth. You know that i fell behind a lot in math this year and that i don't practice drumming accept a few days before my lesson even though i like to drum and how I don't read as much of the History books as I myself would like. The reason is because I have chronic procrastination. When i fall behind I get very anxious and depressed. You also know i am lonely because I don't have friends. This also gets me down. What I am about to say is very hard to say and is probably even harder to hear...but I am know that you love me no matter what and that i can tell you anything. I deal with my procrastination and my pressure, stress and all of my other stuff by trying and find comfort in this through pornograph* and "spilling seed". AND I HATE MYSELF for it! I hope you are not mad with me, I am now part of a website for religious and non religious Jews alike who have P and M addictions I want to show it to you with out showing you what i write." and that is the basic idea if 7up is willing i would like my mom to talk to you. please suggestions!!

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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 19:03 #70816

Chazak Amenu Current streak: 378 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 526 Karma: 0	I would really like to hear what people have to say! and what improvements I should make!
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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 20:05 #70842

briut
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I sent some comments by PM, but generally the chevra might want to comment on whether I was even vaguely on track or not on a couple of points. Namely:

1. Do not make the discussion focus on GYE.org. You don't need her to focus on the site (is it kosher? is it fulla pedophiles ch'v? what are YOUR posts? etc). This discussion is all about YOU. So certainly mention that you've found a kosher website resource that's helping, but I wouldn't push the details.

2. Remember that once she surfs onto this site as a guest, she will immediately know which posts are yours, and learn more about you than you had guessed. I would not make the site a focus of this upcoming conversation.

3. Sorry, but I agree with Dov’s assessment that no one from GYE is gonna be a helpful aide in your process. Not 7up, not Dov, not nobody. You’re on your own, man. This one is all about you. Stand up and take it like a man, because you ARE one. A gibbur! You’ll be fine.

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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 20:26 #70847

Chazak Amenu
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ok, here is a rough draft of what i am going to say tonight IF i do go ahead and tell my mom.

I am going to make sure that we are left alone and have our privacy.
here goes something.

Chazak Amenu wrote on 15 Jun 2010 18:38:

"Mom are you able to talk to me privately for a little while? You said i could tell you anything. This is very hard and difficult for me to do but because of recent events i feel i should tell you what is going on with me. You know how i have been depressed and moody recently? Well even though i have told you it is nothing that was not the truth. You know that i fell behind a lot in math this year and that i don't practice drumming accept a few days before my lesson even though i like to drum and how I don't read as much of the History books as I myself would like. The reason is because I am a chronic procrastinator. I have tried much harder to stop the procrastinating since I found out it is more than just a little bit of pushing things off. When i do fall behind I get very anxious and depressed. You also know i am lonely because I don't have friends. This also gets me down. What I am about to say is very hard to say and is probably even harder to hear. I deal with my procrastination and my pressure, stress, loneliness and all of my other stuff by trying and find comfort in this through "inapropriate images, videos, and stories" which lead to other things. AND I HATE MYSELF for it!In order to deal with this I joined a website for religious and non religious Jews alike who have the same problem in varying degrees of difficulty who are all trying to stop and serve Hashem better I want to show you the website but I am not going to show you the forum where everyone posts because i want some of what i am going through to remain private. "

suggestions are welcome!

Last Edit: 15 Jun 2010 20:32 by .

Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 20:49 #70852

Chazak Amenu
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Its been recommended to me that i write out a few of the reasons i am doing this.
1. when ever i am depressed which is not normally how i behave, my parents start to ask me if i am feeling ok, and i don't want to deceive them any more and lie and say i am doing ok.
2. My parents keep reminding me that i could tell them anything and i really feel that this is something they should know about.
3. I plan on telling my dad after my mom, with my moms help and i want him to put filters on the computers that don't have I don't see a way to do this with out telling him.
4. when i do get behind on my work i want them to be more understanding of what is going on there and that i really want to do the stuff well!
5.I want my parents to be able to trust me and know that i trust them and am willing to tell them things even if it is hard.
6. I want everything out on the table because i think it will relieve a lot of stress and i will feel like i am not lying and hiding things at every turn.
there are a few other reasons but they are difficult to explain...they are more emotional things that are hard to describe.

Last Edit: 15 Jun 2010 20:52 by .

Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 21:11 #70857

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CA, Good luck!

To be honest, I think that they will be relieved and that you will certainly be relieved! I'm sure that they are worried for you. They may be thinking that you are depressed for no reason, gay, or using drugs or alcohol and will be relieved to know what the deal is and that you are working on yourself. Your parents sound like very good people and non judgmental.
It's really weird but I don't know you but I really feel for you and sincerely hope that it works out for the best. I would also like you to know that I had similar problems when I was a teen (procrastination) and I got over it!

Keep us posted, will think of you during mincha

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Re: Chazak Amenu's climb 15 Jun 2010 21:13 #70858

7yipol Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder YES HE CAN! Posts: 4686 Karma: 12	This list is great CA. As a parent, nothing would mean more to me than knowing my teenage child wants an open relationship with communication. I would even share those reasons with your Mom. Reasons 7 and on are for you to help you understand yourself better.
	Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM" Last Edit: by .