Copier!!! :D I'm just laughing right now I'm in such a good mood.

I know that what Hashem does for me is good, i found that out before on a large scale also it probably would be good if my parents found out but if they find out i want it to be because i tell them not because they see all the sites i have been on...

CA: I have a whole speech in my head to share, about yirah (fear) for Hashem and pachad (fear) for flesh-and-blood. As in, lo l'fached klal. But I'll save it for now, since I know that you know it. And we all know it. But I might share it soon anyhow when I get some time, because we can all stand to hear it. Me, included.

[Example: What if Avinu Shebashemayim were the father installing your filter? Would you still be shaking in your pants?]

Hope the day starts well.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! this keeps happening! I keep writing long posts and it keeps saying connection has timed out! what is going on! this is the second time! ii am really mad! Briut i would like to hear what you have to say...i had a whole thing written and now it is all gone!

Chazak Amenu wrote on 02 Jun 2010 13:42:

1) I'm busy at work much of today but will try to compose something later in the afternoon. I'm honored you have any curiosity for my ramblings.

2) If you're really posting long stuff, you know you could always draft it in MSWord and then paste it into GYE when you're ready. Duh. Keeps happening?? Hmmnn... some give a definition of insanity as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."

:-[

hehehe...yeah to write in word has occurred to me...and when i said keeps happening i meant this was the second time it happened...i will try that but right now i am doing other stuff...looking forward to hearing your "ramblings" oh ruthless one!

If Word is too much of a hassle, sometimes I write long posts in my email account, that way I can save it as a draft and finish it later.

Briut wrote on 02 Jun 2010 02:27:

This quote is the general area I was trying to address before, CA. But it's the work of a lifetime. I've done a thousand rounds of this and it's never enough, as the 12-steppers like to say. It's all about what deveikus is, and where it can take us.

Everybody here is a Good Yid. Everybody. You wouldn't be here otherwise. I'm not talking about whether you, in the past, got arrested or lost all your money or gave up your dignity or whetever in the name of s*x. I'm talking about your loving Hashem and wanting to live in His path.

What's hiding behind that statement, and hiding from most Good Yidden, is that this means we really have to trust Him. This is easy when things are going well. (Which, of course means, going well according to what WE'd like to see.) But it's when things ain't lookin' too good that we separate out the Ohavei Hashem from the phony ones.

I've had some "awful" things happen in my life, as well as many many "terrific" things. What's the difference between them? Probably not much more than my perception of whether "I" see them as good. And, in a Jewish way of thinking, WHO CARES about that? I am not running the universe, and I'm not expected to.

I know I'm not saying anything new here. We all know we have to let go and let G-d (geez, another 12-stepper quote; I'm gonna have to stop that or somebody's gonna drag me to a meeting). But what we really have to do is LOVE doing it.

Do you SEE how rough it was last night when your flesh and blood dad was this close to finding your embarrassing surfing history? The fear? The anguish? The prayer it should all go away and turn out right? Well, you probably know this but you were just plain WRONG.

By wrong, I mean you've got to trust G-d once you've made all your preparatory efforts. What if He wanted your dad to find it, with a wonderful result in store for you? What if He just wanted to see if you trusted Him, loved Him, etc so that He could give you the extra ice cream cone He was saving for His best budd? And worst of all, who the HECK are you trying to inject negative emotions into a world that He is trying so desparately hard to make into a world of peace and harmony?

So anyhow, if I had another hour I could compose this so it's easier to read and not so hard on your kishkes. I don't mean anything bad. As I said, it's the work of a lifetime for all of us here. But whenever we see something that looks really awful in our lives, we really only have three choices:
1) daven that He should change it because you feel too weak to withstand the test;
2) find something good inside the situation and show gratitude for that; or,
3) daven that He get you through it and hopefully let you see the beauty behind His gift.

Being scared of life is a slap in His face, Ch'V, and being more scared of flesh and blood than we are of Hashem is apikorsus or perhaps avodah zora. There's really only one path which is love of Hashem, AND THAT'S THE ONLY WAY ANY YID ON THIS SITE IS GOING TO SUCCEED IN HIS GYE WORK.

Okay, that was my soap box speech, CA. We all know this stuff, but every once in a while somebody posts something that gives me that slap in the face of, "thanks, I needed that." And last night, that somebody in my life was you.

Sometimes Hashem wants us to daven to him and come to him for answers, I was in anguish and praying that he not see the stuff and apparently Hashem did not want me to be found out! and i wanted it to be in Hashems hands and asked him if he would find favor that time in what would make me feel comfortable and Hashem complied, If my father would have found the history i would have accepted it as what was best for me. we could all say Hashem lets us do por* and masturbatio* because thats what Hashem wants? no. we daven that he changes it and in anguish we don't accept it as what is best for us.

Glad to see that your filter is now installed!

Thanks, i am too! so yesterday i did not fall and i got to help Struggling guy with his filter and Maccabee with his (though i think it needs fixing apparently it is barking  :-\) I was able to talk with Shlomo so in terms of making sure i did not fall it was a pretty good day, it seems the more i am busy and the more i talk with GYErs the better off i am. but everythin always happens at night not during the day obviously but at least i am safe at night. I learned then had a drum lesson then talked with Shlomo and maccabee so it worked to my advantage, anyway thanks every one Briut, one day, Shlomo, maccabee!

ok, i am falling behind on work again... :'( i have been looking stuff up about procrastination and i found this on wiki books
i copied this from the page

Procrastination and addiction

Severe procrastination and the intense desire to escape that comes along with it, can lead to addiction such as internet addiction or computer addiction. In this instance the individual has a compulsion to avoid reality by surfing the web or playing video games (see Game addiction) [size=12pt]or looking at pornography (see Pornography addiction).
[/size]
Although these are relatively new phenomena, some are already being considered as valid psychiatric diagnoses by mental health professionals.

i probably don't need professional help but i highlighted the main part.

here is a link to the whole wiki book this was in the section called chronic procrastination

here is the link en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Overcoming_Procrastination/Chronic_Procrastination

please tell me what you guys think

Chazak Amenu wrote on 03 Jun 2010 15:41:

You crack me up. Think about it. "I was worried about whether I was a procrastinator. So I wandered all over the web." Think about it.

Reminds me of a Torah lecturer on parenting. Started the speech by addressing all the parents and saying, "if you want to be a good parent: leave right now. go home. be a parent. stop worrying about how and just spend time with your kids. go." [Of course, there was a gevaldige lecture after that, but even so....]

So sometimes, the answer isn't so much why we do things as to just stop doing them.  But think about it - ain't it hilarious?

I don't really find it too funny...as a matter of fact i am pretty depressed right now i knew the procrastinating and the por* addiction are were related but seeing it in writing was...i feel alone again like before GYE accept with this new problem.