I've seen it a lot around here lately, so I figured I'll ask: can someone spell out for me the acronym RID?
Thanks in advance.

Restlessness, Irritability, and Discontent

It's actually part of the 12-step lingo.

  --Eye.

Eye., amush:
I'm curious (out of my ignorance, of course):  is the d for distracted or discontent? 

RSVP. Thanks.

Discontent

Honesty = just fell. 
Brutal honesty = not sure I am ready to stand up again for another day or two. (I'll think about it in the morning.)

Totally brutal honesty = not as worried about it as you'd urge me to be  -- I think a little imperfection is likely to help me in the next chapter of this GYE work.

Well, inasmuch as I have never heard of anyone falling as a direct result of being 'totally brutally honest', 'brutally honest', or even just 'honest', it sounds like whatever you are doing now is going to lead away from the problem and further into the soulution. (funny typo, there, no?)

Alei v'hatzlach!

I'm with Dov on this one. And who's urging you to do what? Worry? No good..., unless it leads to something constructive. Worry for the sake of it that will take me down? I think if anything I'd urge you not to be worried. And imperfection? Don't try too hard. After all, you are human. (And you might even be an addict. Shhh!!)

Discontent?

Ok, so here's the 'fall' story and the lesson learned.

I haven't counted but it was about 210 days clean. The fall wasn't a sudden irresistible jump off a cliff. It was something I figured was likely to happen. I was just exhausted of making 'my' 'perfect' record such a heavy load to bear, I suppose. And I even had plans for it to happen. So, I fell.

But the truth is, I had planned a 3-4 day binge to really knock it "all" out of my system. And within a few hours, with plenty of free time for p* and m* and who knows what, I had this nice realization -- whether or not I fall is NOT my burden to carry. It's His. Perfection is not MY job in life, it's only _His_.

In facing off against very specific and actionable options to continue the fall, I suddenly said to myself, "look -- I want to remain connected to the RBS'O. This isn't helping. Walking away now could actually turn the last few hours of aveiros into a mitzvah, through a real tshuva mi'ahava. Just say no."

And I walked away. I mean, just walked away. Erased the (electronic souvenirs that could allow me to return). And through some very bizarre "coincidences" (hashg.pr.), my schedule got so twisted around that following through on the plans became impossible!

Yet, instead of feeling a loss (or even a se*ual frustration), I felt a calm. Because I had a huge dose of realization that I AM NOT IN CHARGE OF MY UNIVERSE. AND DON'T HAVE TO BE. AND THE WINNING VS LOSING THE BATTLE IS NOT MY CONCERN. And I was able to say -- v'taher libenu l'avdecha b'EMES. I'm only walking away from this because the RBS'O wants it this way.

I'm sure I'll have better words to share in a few days, but I wanted to document this to my thread while it's fresh in my mind.

Day 1.

Sheva Yipol Tzaddik V'Kum. In order to risk higher sometimes we need to fall. Hatzlacha on the trek back up.

Got the goosebumps while reading how you just walked away!!!
WOW!!!

It's nice to be on the same type of journey that you are on....seeya!

Stop making him into some type of hero, the guy fell for heaven's sake!

Many rishonim learn that Yosef was motzei zera too before he ran away from the wife of potiphar; and he had planned it as well.  Do you also question chazal's characterization of Yosef Hatzaddik he also "fell.". Yes there are differences but the point is we all fall at some point or another. Not all of us walk away in middle.

So I don't know if I'm reading this right but just after you wrote this it looks like you posted the most beautiful chizuk on my thread, helping me with my fall of a few days ago.  So what does THAT say about you.  That even dealing with some heavy stuff yourself, you've got time for others. 

Perfectionism.  yeah, like the saying goes, "Separated from G-d, playing G-d."  Briut wrote on 06 Oct 2010 02:50:

Sounds like quite a burden you put down.  So we struggle.  Even a Gadol (in my eyes)like yourself.  We're all sneh, no?

Walked away and erased all the electronic souvenirs.  How could the RSO not love you.

Hey, Me3.  I'm not making him into a hero.  He was my hero long before he fell.