MO! MO! MO! MO! GOTTA GO TO MOMO'S! GOTTA GO TO MO'S!!!

Get it?

Thanks IT25, but now I know that I can go through a workday and not surf.

However, how can I actually get motivated to work? I spend the days on this forum writing to you, Habib, 7up.., listening to the radio, and chatting with Uri.

Or, should I quit not knowing what happens the next day? (Scary thought  :o :o :o)

You're not a social animal, you're a social person  :D ... Chazal say that what distinguishes man from animal is his ability to TALK. Domem, tzome'ach, Chai, Medaber.

And see the Targum Unkelus on the words "Vayipach be'Apav Nishmas Chaim"  

Obviously you can't continue in a job that you simply don't do any work. Does your boss know you're not working and he still pays you? Why don't you have an honest talk with him and tell him you're not motivated enough. Ask him if there's anything else you could do for him that would be more "people" or "team" oriented. If he says "no", tell him you may have to quit. Not because you don't like him, just that you need a more "people oriented" job to keep you motivated.

You asked why the surfing takes away boredom. That's simply because it makes you feel good, so you forget the boredom. It doesn't solve the problem at all though, it's just like a band-aid on an open wound that just keeps getting worse the more you don't deal with the real issues. It just takes you more and more into yourself and into isolation, when instead you need a more motivating and people-oriented job.

(did I mention a people-oriented job?)

WOW!! MOMO!!! could you of ever belived you would be saying the words that just came out of you rmouth!!!! WAY TO GO MOMO!!
And about your work. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, honestly i dont know what to say. ( now that wasnt easy saying but this forums about being open and honest ;D :D )

guardureyes wrote on 14 Dec 2009 11:41:


Yes, I'm getting paid. I cover my tracks well. That's become my real job.  :-[
I'm afraid to quit. Sitting at home alone looking for work may not be the best thing for me.
I came to the realization today (boker tov Momo!) that I need a people-oriented job.

I just had a nice 1/2 hour shmooze with Yaakov S. (Thanks Yaakov again, you rock!) He gave me a nice idea to think about. I should say to myself that for whatever reason, haShem wants me to be at this job. Doing this at this time is fulfilling His will. At the same time I should continue to look for something else. We know that a change in attitude goes a long way.

Did you invite him to our party?????

imtrying25 wrote on 14 Dec 2009 11:41:


I KNOW!!! One week ago I didn't think it was possible for me to do it for one day. Now, after 3.5 days of doing it I just wrote that I know I can do it.
I think this is a BIG step forward for me!

imtrying25 wrote on 14 Dec 2009 12:29:


I did and he won't come. He wants to stay super-anonymous.
Our loss. It would totally rock if he came, but we have to respect his decision. 

hi momo!
I'm very very late.
trying didn't wake me up last night, the mean girl (jk- she wanted me to sleep for some crazy reason)
lots going on today!

so really, i think the most important thing for you to do is to do SOMETHING at work. because right now, we're working on your addiction.
so that means if you ever find yourself staring into space for 5 min, i think you need to find something to do. and if that means work for 20 min until someone finally posts on GYE, then you work those 20 min. get it?

yeah, your job is depressing and lonely. but if you're not going to quit yet, you have to DO something. anything.
i'm assuming you like what you do and you just don't like the environment?
then if you get engrossed in programming (or whatever it is), does that help at all? ever?

and what Yaakov S. said was genius. for the time being, if you HAVE to be at this job, the Hashem put you in a position where you HAVE to be there. while we do have some control over what we do, we don't have that much. Hashem runs everything...

and i didn't say Mazal Tov about this post yet:[quote="Momo]
Thanks IT25, but now I know that I can go through a workday and not surf.
[/quote]
that's pretty awesome!
it's like realizing that if we don't surf, we can still live. and function. and be normal.
incredible feeling, right?

especially since we thought p*** was holding us up all those years

momo, u mad at me?
am i totally off?

habib613 wrote on 14 Dec 2009 13:17:


No, of course I'm not mad.
I didn't respond b/c you wrote you're late (I assume for work) and figured you're leaving the house and wouldn't be online.

You're right that I should work, but I find it very, very hard.

I think it's both the environment and the work itself. I'm looking into changing fields, which isn't easy in today's economy (read: no experience in new field).

hmmm... that makes it more difficult.
gonna think about it.

i actually meant i was late posting on your thread, but i'm late to work too. and my boss comes in monday mornings.... now i gotta run....
have a super rest of the day.
smile Momo!!!!

;D

Wow, Momo, I haven't really keeping up with your thread - that whole real life thing really gets in the way - WOW. Now we have to look for another forum grump! What to do?

The need to feel like your 9 to 5 means something - going somewhere - is as basic as breathing. What you've done is incredible - suddenly you've released your meaningfulness - when we feel that emptiness, we numb it with porn. Instead, you're letting yourself feel the pain - and that pain will push you express your incredible potential. Feel the void - and answer it's call. You're on a roll!

My prescription -

1) Make the best of your situation. Quitting and veging at home is sucicide.  Besides, in today's economic crisis, who the heck knows what you'd get?

2) Figure out what you're good at. That's your clue for what you should be doing. R' Akiva Tatz tells a beautiful mashall - imagine if every professional got amensia - how would they figure out what their job is? Well - they look at what the've got - the plumber has his wrench and pipes - the security guard has his gun - the lawyer has his torture chamber -

look at what Hashem gave you, and what is demanding to be expressed!
-You discovered that you're sociable - you're a communicator - fill in the rest -may I suggest Now Discover Your Strengths by Gallup and the 8th Habit by Stephen Covey - both about finding your unique skills - if you express those, not only will you feel much better, you will be much more successful and make a lot more shekels (heck, whats the dollar worth anyway? ).
Then see where you can express - saying to your Boss - not as an ultimatum - "I think I'm doing well at my current job, but I feel I can really contribute if I was doing X and X - and here's why - I'm naturally X and X -" the Gallup book is beztem for managers and the secret of giving your employees a place to express their strengths is the rea way to profit. Speak his language. which means "I will bring in more profit if I can do X"
If not - take a career test - or figure it out on your own - how you can not be a "technician" but really suites you - be it garbage man or nuclear physicist or CIA agent (they have openings - check CIA.gov) - and then figure out a plan to make it happen
CIA agent
-put up with dorky job
-train in tae kwan doe three times a week
-get my masters in international affairs at night
-train with green berets during vacation time
-apply to CIA...and bye bye cubicle. and of course, personall safety, but that's a diferent schmooze...
fashtey?

WOW. Thanks kanesher so much for posting that. Real advice for real people! Yeh!!!

Your post was so fantastic, I'm going to break it down, bit by bit, with my reaction:

"Now we have to look for another forum grump!" - I hope so!  ;D

"What you've done is incredible - suddenly you've released your meaningfulness - when we feel that emptiness, we numb it with porn. Instead, you're letting yourself feel the pain - and that pain will push you express your incredible potential. Feel the void - and answer it's call. You're on a roll!" - Great chizuk for me and it explains what I'm feeling and why now.

"Quitting and veging at home is suicide.  Besides, in today's economic crisis, who the heck knows what you'd get? " - You're right. Good advice. Running away from my job won't help me very much, just put me in a bad place.

"Figure out what you're good at...-may I suggest Now Discover Your Strengths by Gallup and the 8th Habit by Stephen Covey - both about finding your unique skills " - I don't know how to transfer what I like (being a yekke, working with nice people, music) as a job skill, but these are good starting places.

"Then see where you can express - saying to your Boss.." - My job is so defined and they are so rigid, I tried once to move to a different dept. and got a "no".

But, you've given me good ideas. I've got to find myself.

I guess I'm going through a mid-life crises, right? Just without the new sports car and new wife.