Momo wrote on 29 Sep 2009 12:13:


i wrote a poem about that once actually
im looking for it but im not sure where i placed it
i hope it didnt fall into the wrong hands

But the basic idea was a follows:

Would I take that pill that you speak of?
That would enable me to live a "normal" life?
That would help me just go day by day and do what I have to do?

Life would be quite boring,wouldn't it be?

Look at your poems,Momo.
There is beauty and depth in them.
Would you have davened the yom kippur that you did if you didn't have the struggles you do?
Would you be the same sincere sensitive kind person that you are now?

Nothing is coincedence my friend.
Our life and struggles shape who we are.
You are becoming a beautiful angel.
And in the end,when it's all over,youre not just gonna be clean.
You're gonna be so much more.
You're gonna be strong!
You're gonna be sensitive to people's pain!
You're a hero,Momo.
Just for fighting.
Do soldiers get admired only when they kill a gazillion arabs?!
No!
Being in war is itself tremendous.
And it changes who we are.
For the better.
So I dont know about you.
But I'm not taking no pill.

-uri

Uri wrote on 29 Sep 2009 13:42:


Your message is beautiful. But, I have to laugh. You completely misunderstood what kind of pill I'm looking for. When I wrote "to end it all", I didn't mean to end my addiction, I meant my life. Ha ha. Pretty funny.
As I wrote in a PM to someone, don't worry about me. I'm too chicken to run away from it all. I'm all talk.

I didnt missunderstand unfortunately.

And I say as Guard did.

Momo wrote on 29 Sep 2009 12:13:


momo, you should look at the fact that you havent acted out since yk as an accomplishment...surely if you would have acted out they way after rh it would been a tremendous downer...you OWE it to yourself to allow the fact that HAVENT acted out to be as much an UPPER as the opposite would have been a downer...

re: feeling close to gd, etc...i dont know if all of us get that inert feeling of "being close to hashem"...you know i believe this whole "tatty in shomoyim" business is a little bit hollywood and a little bit emily bronte...people are different and we all understand our creator differently...you got up this morning, you can breathe and work (i know work is tough, trust me im overwhelmed right now too, but you know how many people are out of work right now?) you can eat and walk...that is your closeness to hashem right there...

Hi Momo,

Whenever I think of your name, I always think of something I read from your thread (Duvid Chaim's calls - By Momo) where you related about RID – Restlessness, Irritability, Discontent, as you wrote, “The lust feeds off our feelings of restlessness, irritability, and discontent (RID).” And I think it also mentioned somewhere about “Resentment”, too. (Thanks to both you and Moti for your summaries. They are very insightful and inspiring).

Those summaries that you and Moti had made from Duvid Chaim’s calls have really helped me. I've still got a long way to go working on these attributes, and I know that it will take a long time. But I know that I’m moving in the right direction just being aware of RID and trying to incorporate it (even just the awareness of it) into my life even very very little steps. Not even Baby steps, more like a newborn’s baby toes. But at least they are moving in the right direction. Thank you so much!

It’s after Yom Kippur, so I’m sure the Y”H is working overtime today. I can feel it. But as I scan some of your posts, I found another thing you once wrote which is giving me chizuk today, where you related that, “We are the passengers, and HaShem is the Pilot.”

Wishing you the best in everything.

Nishmas

This world is a corridor to the next... In the next, we'll "feel" Hashem. But in the corridor, it gets chilly sometimes. What can you do? It's only another 50-60 years. What's that compared to eternity?

If we'd really "feel" him, the game of hide-and-seek would be over. Hashem is having too much fun to end the game. Why aren't you having fun? GO SEEK!!!!

Beautiful post guard!
That really hit the spot.

how u feeling today momo?
have u put up the pictures?
have u called rav shlachter?

Uri, thanks for checking in with me.

I'm feeling better than yesterday.
I put up one picture that I like of him.
I haven't called yet. I'm still thinking about it.

Stop thinking.
Calling isn't commiting.
Just ask his opinion.
He has a hotline you can call tonight at 9.
Just do it.

Love you man
-uri

p.s. JUST DO IT
p.p.s. im happy you put up the picture.look in his palm and you can see a baby face

Uri, you gave me Rav Slachter's cell number but I don't have his hotline number. Are they the same? What are the hotline days and hours? Thanks.

Rabbi Shraga Shlachter (English and Hebrew Speaker)
Israel Sexual addiction Treatment Center
Working with sexual addiction in the frum community for many years.
Trained in the 12-Steps (and author of the book "The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life")
Also helps couples deal with a spouse who is addicted (and general marriage counseling as well)
Low Rates
Cell: 052-6923065. (Answers this number Sunday and Wed from 9-10 PM)

Wait a minute! Something weird's going on.

I have that same number, and hours, and book author, not for a Rav Shraga Shlachter, but for a Rav Yair Shochet! Are they the same person? What's going on???

Guard?

yair shochet is his pen name

Dear Momo -

"im esak shomayim shom otoh"
Hashem, even if I go way up to the heavens, You are there!

"va'atziya she'ol, hinekoh"
But if I descend to the pit, here You are!"

The emphasis was taught to me by Rabbi Mendel Feldman, Olov haSholom

So, maybe it's not so bad to feel far from Hashem...it doesn't mean that He is far from you.