bs"d

different strokes for different folks...

bs"d

thanks for those last 2 posts, Momo. you touched my heart - again.

hey momo. i want to say something nice and chizzuky, but i feel like just crying..., so, if u want to sit and cry with me..., im here...
i feel your pain, i feel mine...
sorry for being so depressing

LOL. That's a funny line... But Momo, tell me honestly, if you had cancer Chas veshalom, would you say you can't afford the hour a day of chemo therapy? Would you not do everything in your power and not let anything stand in your way of getting healed? So obviously you don't consider this disease as bad as physical cancer. Well, keep drinking then. In AA they say "it took each and every drink I took to get me to where I am today".

Please download this PDF (right click and "Save Target/Link As"). Read these 3 pages from the White-Book. Tell me if you relate.

guardureyes wrote on 06 Sep 2009 16:53:


Guard, I feel you are being very unfair and unjustly nasty. If G-d forbid I had cancer, I'd tell my boss and he'd give me as much time off as I need for chemo. However, the illness I have I can't share with my boss. Instead he expects me to work overtime to meet my deadline, and even then it's doubtful if I can do it. Just because I can't afford to leave early or on time from work to call CD doesn't mean I don't take it seriously. That's insulting and I thought you knew me better. I don't think I need to quit my job, or not meet my deadline and get myself fired, in order to call CD. (Although, I'm so stressed out I think of quitting each day, but that's a different problem.)

To tell me "well, keep drinking then", I won't even respond to that insult. I am in a terrible predicament, and I'm sorry you don't understand that. I feel that I don't have many choices. I can quit my job, I can work myself to death for the next few weeks.

Good bye and good day.

Momo wrote on 06 Sep 2009 15:43:


let's...
well, im going to attempt at having at least a somewhat productive and hopefully, maybe, somehow, it will also be a good day.
i hope you have a good day!!!

I received a couple of PMs, and I see I inadvertently caused some confusion. So, let's clarify a few things:

• I haven't stopped fighting. I just don't have the time or energy for a full fledged war, so I'm letting myself slip once and a while.


• I haven't stopped visiting the forum. When I wrote "good bye", it was to Guard only, and only for today. I know he means well, but he did tick me off. Know though that I don't hold a grudge for very long. Guard, you'll still be my best friend tomorrow.


• I need to work my butt off to keep my job. Then I can begin to think about DC and therapy and Rosh HaShana.


• I don't need chizuk now. I need a place to vent (this forum) and to work (at work).


• I don't have time to read everyone's posts. I read a couple here and there. This doesn't mean I don't like you anymore or forgotten you.

Oh my, I'm on a roll here. Yesterday I got it on the head from "Struggle" and now Momo thinks I'm being nasty. Guys, I'm so sorry. I love every one of you dearly, but I'm only human and make mistakes. Momo, I feel your pain immensely. I didn't mean to say it so bluntly, all I meant was that we need to view this disease as if it was a REAL cancer. And if we DID see it that way, then NOTHING in the world would stand in our way, not jobs, not bosses, not NOTHING. And if we still DON'T see it that way, then obviously we haven't hit BOTTOM yet, that's all I meant. I didn't mean "keep drinking" literally. I meant as a "plea" to you, Momo, to "hit bottom WHILE STILL ON TOP". I meant to ask, "do you want to keep drinking and hit bottom FOR REAL?" like they say in AA "it took each and every drink to get where I am today"... That's all I meant.

Guard,

(It's not so important, but I'm not on top. I'm somewhere in the middle.)

Here's my main question for you: Do you expect me to leave work early, or on time (depending on what time I get in), and not work my expected overtime, get my boss and my boss's boss mad at me for not keeping up with my deadline and jeopardize my job in order to call DC? That's what I am understanding you are saying, and I don't agree. If I lose my job, I will really hit bottom.

I don't believe you will lose your job. It's all a matter of prioritizing. If you "trade" the acting out time, and the time you spend shmoozing with co-workers, or drinking coffee, snacks, reading news, even some time posting on the forum, or if you come in a little earlier or stay a little later, and work a little harder when you should be instead of other things, then the hour on DC'c call won't be noticed. If it's your life we're talking about, it will take some creative thinking.

Guard, I disagree with you. I'm not acting out and shmoozing. If I worked 100% of the time without checking news or the forum or drinking coffee, I'd go mad.

You're right about one thing: I should spend less time on the forum. However, posting helps me and gives me an outlet when the pressure builds.

Ok, so keep posting. You'll get there in the end. Have faith!

Momo wrote on 07 Sep 2009 13:44:


Momo,

The main failure would be to give up.  If you're making a sincere effort, and are making slow and steady progress, you are on your way to succeeding.

Guard's final deep thought for the day:

If you do come back, you'll have GYE from the outset so it should be a lot easier... Just make sure to use the name "Momo" again, so we recognize you.  

Momo wrote on 07 Sep 2009 13:44:


Cant remain silent here any longer, sorry.
And that should tell you how much I care Momo.....

I honestly consider you one of the most normal people here. And bravest by far.