Woaw!!!!

Momo, your pain is shouting, screaming, yelling and crying!

Thats not what Yaakov meant, and if you reread it tomorrow, you'll see for yourself how his words stem from caring and love. Right now you are just too sad and sore.

You dont have the memory of a donkey; you DO have the yh of a lion though. And any smart donkey will run in the face of a much more powerful adversary. What is needed are gates and fences to keep that lion at bay. And once he's beaten back, you will finally see that your 'donkey' is acually a mighty stallion.

And dont forget, Mashiach will come on a donkey - that humble but powerful, under-appreciated animal who keeps on trudging no matter how heavy the burden.

Now please please please smile precious Momo. Your pain is hurting me so much :'(

Sorry 7Up. I really don't want to hurt you, but I have to write this song now. Don't read this post.

For everyone else except 7Up, I don't own or play guitar, so reading this will have to do. I'm not on the level of Uri.

--------
I'm hoping for a day that may never come.
A day when I feel free.

I'm hoping to finally feel content with myself.
When my anger and sadness disappear.

May my words of chizuk that I give to others
penetrate my stone heart.

May I finally live up to my potential
Because just trying to doesn't seem to be enough.

That went straight from your heart, into mine.

How very real are your words and emotions.

Dont worry about my feelings Momo. I hurt because I care. Nothing more, and nothing less.

Dear Momo, you're an addict and hey - that's what addicts do. Stick with Duvid Chaim's calls, keep reading the amazing advice in the daily chizuk e-mails from Dov (the past few days especially), flex those "outward-focus" muscles more and more, step by step, over time - and you will start to see a HUGE change in yourself. If Dov can do it, why can't you? Dov was much more addicted then you, and to worse things. And he's clean 11 + years.

As far as work, I liked Uri's advice. Swear to yourself (say, for 2 weeks at first) that you don't act out at work, period, not innapropriate images and not mast**. Whent he urge strikes, promise the Yetzer Hara that as soon as you leave work, you'll do whatever he wants, but NOT AT WORK, period.

Hopefully, by the time you leave the urge will have died down. (But don't think about that when feeling the urge, just say "later".)

Can you do this?

I don't know if I can do that.

Of course YOU can't. But Hashem CAN. Don't wonder if you can or not, just DO IT. Jump in to the Yam suf, throw yourself onto Hashem with complete abandon. That's the third step. He'll do it FOR YOU.

Momo,

Take Duvid Chaim up on his offer.

CALL HIM!

He knows you
He knows the enemy
He knows the tricks

CALL HIM!

-- deleted --

Momo wrote on 11 Aug 2009 12:39:

To quote my rebbi the bardichever:

Fell, schmell, good, schmood!
just keep coming back.

-- deleted --

Momo, I finally figured out the secret behind your name "Momo". The addiction comes from living a self-centered - "Me Me" existence. You want to start to live by focusing Outwards, not inwards.

You want to turn the MeMe into MOMO

He's done that already Guard. Go read those amazing Duvid Chaim summaries!

OOOPS

Instead of pressing reply, I accidentally pressed modify and erased your donkey post  :-[ :-[ :-[

I guess thats what Hashem wanted me to do?

Now, cut it out Momo; and bring back either the winky eye or chasidishe boy.The donkey picture is forafter Mashiach comes! :D

You mean you are clean for 3.3 days at a time!! The cup is 7/8ths full, not 1/8th empty!

And anyway, that's probably still a LOT better than before you joined GYE, no? So you're on tool #7 of the handbook still... Soon you'll be ready for tool #8. Keep the faith!

bs"d

Momo,

i love you and i believe in you

my heart is broken reading through these last posts

but your family is here for you

just as you are always here for us

thank you for being in our lives