wow. speechless.

Your apologizing to the kid afterwards, is your attempt to fix the addiction. But he beat the crap out of you, and you start to feel you can never fix it... Then comes the song, efshar letaken... Tamid efshar letaken.

Wow. Hashem loves us so so much.

What an amazing dream.  I hope it is a siman tov min hashamayim for you.

Momo wrote on 03 Mar 2010 14:32:


Thanks.

Momo, how are you doing?

I was thinking, if you're interested to hear...  Once we can admit that we're not really interested in ART, but we're interested in S**, then we're ready to make progress.

Another lie of Western Culture which you might be suffering from (I know I was) is that the only life value is having s**.  If you ain't doin' it, you're worthless.  The coolest guy is the one sleeping around with the most girls.

Now, after we've grown up and gotten married and have children, it's hard to get rid of this value that we grew up with for 20 or 30 years.

But, it could be we're so interested in s** because it has become linked directly to our self-worth.

This may be sub-concious, but if it's true you won't have to dig too deep to find it.

Once we know what's going on in our head, we can disarm it.

OH.  I really do have self worth even if I'm not having s** with every attractive woman I see.

Further more... I have self worth even if I'm out of a job, living in a cardboard box, and picking through the garbage for my next meal (but let's hope we never come to that).  The idea is true.  We have self worth simply because we're a nashama, the image of G-d.  G-d loves us no matter what.

Now, I'll admit this takes a while to seep in.  I'm still working on it a lot myself.  I didn't grow up in one of those homes where G-d was as tangible as the air we breathe.

So, we'll start off intellectual.  That'll work for now.  In time, we'll get the message into our hearts.

Any of this sound helpful?

Shavua Tov Momo,

I just read your dream. WOW.
Intense is an understatement!
Have you noticed that Hashem keeps doing this to you -
Every now and then, he sends you these super-powerful messages
telling you that He is with you and cheering you on big time.
Reread your thread -
the messages are sprinkled throughout.

The dream is alive, and we love MOMO!

Momo keeps the dreams alive!

Momo wrote on 07 Mar 2010 14:40:


As we often quote:

It is brought down in the sefer Menucha V'kedusha, written by a talmid of R' Chaim Volozhiner, that even a person who sins his whole life can still be considered a Tzaddik, as long as he never gives up and always continues to fight. We like to think of success in terms of results.  But Hashem looks at our efforts, not at the results.




Really? Oh. Well, it seems to be bigger than all of us. Dov included. If you want what he has, do what he does 

I love you, Momo.

We THINK the addiction is bigger that us, because of it's complete control over us. BUT that's what an addiction is, something that controls us. We can not ever dream of controlling it. We are fooling ourselves if we think we can win a battle against it.

Even in your dream, you thought you could fight back, you started to, but then things got out of control and you ended up creamed.

But it's still efshar letakein. HOW?

If a big bully comes toward me, a guy I know is too big for me, too strong, i'll NEVER overpower this guy, I have two choices aside from fighting a losing battle. I could lower my fists and let him cream me. Or I could lower my fists AND TURN AND WALK AWAY. Surrender doesn't mean i have to get beat up. Surrender means I can CHOSE NOT TO FIGHT! I can walk away from the confrontation. "No, sorry, not today."

That's how you really WIN. By NOT fighting. Efshar Lekalkel is engaging in battle. But Efshar Letakein is to walk away from the battle.

A Mouse-click away is a picture that once you see it, you'll want more and more until you can't help but fall. DON'T FORGET YOURSELF and think you could handle that click and pull away from the battle before it's too late. YOU CAN"T.

JUST SAY NO to Drugs-of-Choice.

Just walk away from engaging the enemy. And he'll LOSE.

Thanks for saying so clearly that even I can understand it, Steve.
Pickle-brothers 4-ever!!

Hey Momo.
How ya doin?

Momo -

outstanding how honest you are!!!

Duvid Chaim just finished Bills Story - why not join the call and start the program again...just because you are worth it!

I understand how you feel about the addiction - I felt the smae way...

but what I found was, what I could not do in 90 days,

I could do in ONE day, just ninety times.

(and it is alot easier after going through the 12-steps)

Keep it up - you are doing great!

Dv in e ( Dov in Israel)

Hey Momo,

I would have responded much earlier,
but somehow I didn't see your post until just now.

Momo wrote on 14 Mar 2010 08:47:


I'm sorry, I don't think you're disappointing anyone,
except maybe yourself. We all continue to be here,
with you and for you.

I have been through some of my own hard times,
and I know that it can be tough,
but I also know that you can pull through.

And as DovII writes, it is outstanding how honest you are.

with love and respect,

Sturggle

P.S. Call of the Shofar?

Sorry to hear about your fall.

You're not disappointing anyone.

We're rooting for your success.

And we understand when you fall.

Recovery isn't instant.

Sure, some people jump right in an seem to get better all of a sudden.

But, maybe they've been fighting for 20 or 30 years already.  GYE, to some extent, helps you use these tools you discovered years ago more methodically.  More effectively.

But, if you've seen these tools on GYE for the first time, and you're inexperienced with them, it could easily take a long while for everything to click into place.

That's just a little theory of mine.  Maybe you'll find some consolation in it.

  --Eye.

TAMID Efshar Letaken!!




I think about you all the time.




That's the most ANY ADDICT can hope for.
We all admit we are addicts.
We all admit to the sobering truth that we can fall at any time.
And we all admit that tomorrow is out of our hands.
All we can hope for, is  - just like you said - to create a clean streak... by staying clean TODAY.  ;D

P.S. Why not take "DovInIsrael" as your sponsor? He's here in Israel and he's offering to be a sponsor for guys in Israel... Great guy!

KOT NMW