Hi. This is my thought of the day:
As I mentioned at the end of my last post, summarizing yesterday's Duvid Chaim call, we ended with the realization that we usually come up with some lame excuse explaining why we should take our first "lust hit". We rationalize why we should act out.
When I first read this, (when I wasn't feeling lustful but rather will full mental capacity) I actually made a list of excuses that little voice in my head says to me to justify why I should start acting out. I suggested yesterday in the call that everyone makes for themselves their own list. After we make this list, we should review it once in a while, before we feel lustful. This way, if we ever hear one of these excuses, we'll recognize them and think "Oh yah, that sounds familiar. Oh my G-d! That's on my list of excuses to act out! I'd better not listen since I know what will happen if I follow this advice."
You can call this list your "list of rationalizations to act out" or your "lust excuse list". I call this list my "last stop before falling" list. If I hear any of these excuses, I have the CHOICE to get off the bus, or I can choose to ignore the warning signal, stay on the bus, and enter my disaster zone of lusting, slipping, and acting out.
Here's my list. Perhaps some of these sound familiar? In order to make this more educational, I don't want to leave you with good reasons to act out, so I'll add what I think are the correct responses to answer the Y"H's excuses.
Excuse #1. (If I've been clean for a long time) "You've been good for so long, you deserve a break! You've earned it!"
Answer: "What you are suggesting is for me to kill my clean streak. Remember how I'll feel after having to start counting back to day 1. It felt really lousy last time!"
Excuse #2: "It's not so bad!"
Answer: "Funny how before we act out it's not so bad, but immediately after you'll tell me it's the greatest sin imaginable! You'll tell me I'm a bum and might as well give up trying to be frum since I'm the lowest of the low! Well, it is pretty bad and you are a liar!"
Excuse #3: "I'll stop after the first picture (or after 5 minutes)."
Answer: "Hah! I know myself. I know I have no control, that I am powerless over the addiction. I can't stop after the first photo or after 5 minutes. Five minutes always turns into hours. After a spree I wonder, How could I have spent 3 hours wasting my day looking at p*rn?"
Excuse #4: "I'm feeling restless, irritable and discontent. I need some pleasure."
Answer: "The pleasure you are suggesting is counterfeit. It will make me feel good for a couple of minutes, then I'll feel horrible and let down after. I'd rather giving up your fake pleasure and take real joy instead."
Excuse #5: "I'm physically wound up. I need to release the physical and emotional pressure the best way I know how."
Answer: "That's the wrong way to deal with the pressure. Acting out, while giving me temporary release, will make me feel low and guilty afterward. The correct response to release the physical pressure is to exercise, like taking a 5 minute walk. The correct response to emotional pressure is to breath deeply, think about HaShem, see HaShem around you, feel his presence, and talk (or pray) to Him."
I'd be pleased of you could share your lists, or some items on your lists, as well as your responses to the excuses. I think we can learn from each others rationalizations.