Momo, I dont have the words to thank you. A summary like this, together with your personal insights is invaluable.
I know that this was a gift from HaShem because He understood that I really needed it. I was depressed and on the brink of giving up.
What a hug Hashem gave you!
With this in mind, I already feel the intensity of my epiphany waning. But that's alright, because I understand that it is unusual at this early stage of the program to get an epiphany, and HaShem simply gave me a gift to give me a glimpse of how my life can feel like at the end of the program.
This shows such insight Momo. You're right, we may not feel that hug so clearly ever step of the way, but if we know how to look, we will see it often enough to keep us going.
Once you have felt this madreiga even once, no matter how fleeting, IT IS YOURS FOREVER. This insight and growth is now sewn into your neshama, and even when you feel youve fallen and no longer feel this ruchnius high, know that it is there, forever a part of you. NO-ONE - not even the menuval - can EVER take this away from you. Not because it's
yours,
but because it's you PLease keep sharing. Just for the beautiful tefilla at the end it is worth it!