I'm not sure where to go from here. I'll ask Rav S, but he has his agenda.
On one hand, it's been easier than other times. Less struggle and more "letting go". But over the past couple of days, it's been harder not to act out.
Rav S would tell me to act out since that's not the issue. In his opinion, the issue is living and not controlling myself. But, I don't want to act out. I'm proud of the clean days I have and know I'll feel very badly if I act out.
According to Rav S, I'm supposed to not-surf in order to find other ways to live. The idea is not to not-surf in order to not act out. But I've used the opportunity of not surfing and not seeing images to also not act out.
But is my not acting out when I want to just a control method? What about self-control freeing myself from the addiction?
Agh! ???
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Disclaimer: Rav S's advice to ME is just for ME, not for you. It was told to me in a private therapy session. Guys, don't act out; it's bad for you.