because you're fighting back (or not, whatever) differently.
when you first started, you weren't seeing R' S., you weren't posting as much as now, you weren't calling Uri and imtrying, you weren't doing things that made you happy...
the list goes on and on

this time will be different.

and it's amazing to read your thread over, no?

oh man, rage, i can't stop laughing!

Rage ATM wrote on 16 Dec 2009 15:18:


Good job Rage! Much better than what I could come up with.
I knew you wouldn't disappoint me.  :D

habib613 wrote on 16 Dec 2009 15:15:


Hmmm. I've really tried before, so I can't add the reason "because now I'm really trying". Also, I've acted out a lot when I first started seeing Rav S, so I can't add "because I now see Rav S."
But, you made some good points.

So, here's my updated list why this time will be different:

1. I have proven to myself that I can go to work for and not surf outside this site. (I've done it for 6 workdays straight.)
2. I now have friends to call when I'm feeling down or lonely. I don't have to feel lonely again.
3. I am trying to live by doing things that are (kosher and) fun!
4. I am fighting differently by letting it go and not trying to white-knuckle all the time.
5. I'm posting a lot more on the forum, and loosening up and having fun, joking around.
6. I'm making a list of things I'm grateful for each day.

Habib, do you ever feel panicky-scared that you'll act out and fall badly? What do you do?

I just wanted to let everyone know I'll not be at work tomorrow. That means I'll be offline most of the time until Sunday morning. so don't worry; I'll be OK. My not posting tomorrow doesn't mean I fell, c"v.
(IT25, that means that if you need anything from me, or to tell me anything related to the party, you'll have to call me.  I'll be available by cell the whole day.)

But, I'll be anxiously waiting to read new posts on my thread, so keep posting and responding to what I've written today! I might check in before Sunday to read what you guys have written here.

Good Shabbos and enjoy the rest of Channukkah!

Thanks for helping me have one of the most successful weeks of my life, and I don't mean with regard to the amount of work I've done, I mean spiritually.  

Momo you want to know why this time will be different?? Stop looking to the future so much. Youv had an absolutly great two weeks. Now just take it one day at a time. Or even one hour. Or even one minute if you have to. It will be different because you feel a pressure to prove its gonna be different this time. Just tell yourself i want this great thing im doing now to cont for one more day. Thats it. When you wake up tomorrow youll decide if you want it for another day. Allow the difference to be seen when looking back. Were not Nevi'im. We dont know if or why its going to be different. But its not our job to know either. Our job is to say i had a good day today i want a good day tomorrow. Thats it.

We love you momo. And well miss you till you come back. Enjoy your mini vacation.

Keep it up Momo.  Enjoy the past week.  It's better to think about the good things then any of the bad.

A Rabbi,a pigeon, and a turtle walk into a bar.*
The bartender asks what they want.
The pigeon says "double scotch".
The turtle orders a beer.
"And what will you be having,Rabbi",the bartender asks.
The Rabbi grins.
"I'm walking around with a pigeon and a turtle.Isn't it clear I've drunk enough?"

A Rabbi,a pigeon, and a turtle walk into a bar.
They start discussing things about life that they enjoy.
The pigeon says "I get my enjoyment in life pooping on people's heads".*
The turtle says "I get enjoyment every time I hear another turtle and hare story".
The Rabbi whips out a butcher knife.



*
1.bp.blogspot.com/_B7iJN32O15U/SKZxyE-0QGI/AAAAAAAAAQg/V42NDjI7vZU/s400/2261-Cool+Funny+Pictures+-+Photos+-+Hilarious+-+Humor+-+Images+-+.jpg
*
aa.yhs.search.yahoo.com/avg/search?fr=yhs-avgb&type=yahoo_avg_hs2-tb-web_aa&p=turtle+eats+pigeon

are my eyes decieving me?
no way did uri just come back...

hi!

and hysterical jokes  :D

He came back for pidgeon jokes?

PFFFTTT!!!!

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister get together (first mistake) to prove whose better at their job. They go to the woods to convert bears and agree to compare notes in 1 hour. Back at the LZ, the priest says he got the bear to take a copy of the catechism and he agreed to come to church this sunday for communion. The minister relates how he actually baptised his bear and got him to flop on the ground and talk in tongues for a bit. They look around for the rabbi and find him on the ground nearby with his shirt and jacket wrapped around some wounds. They asked him what happenned.
He just replied, "Maybe I shouldn't have begun with the circumcision."

Sorry.  ;D

LOL Uri and Dov!!   ;D ;D

Uri, thanks for coming back. We really missed you around these parts of the woods (where the bears roam ... dov )

URI YOUR BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Momo wrote on 16 Dec 2009 15:37:

i think that's a really good list. and i would still add seeing R' S, because even if you acted out,even if you still act out, he is a very important factor in your recovery.
and yes, i get that panicky-scared feeling. sometimes i call people and sometimes i do everything i can to calm myself down. "breathe, habib, breath. calm down. don't quit. there are people out there who believe in you. they think you can do it."
as you can see, i haven't learned to let go and let G-d, so don't learn from me.

anyone who's hit as many days as you, habib is someone to learn from!
aizehoo chacham halomeid mikal adam!
and you give us a lot to learn from!

Hi everyone. I'm baaaaaaaaaack.  :D
Last work-day-of no outside surfing to finish Rav S's challenge and allow me to return to him without seeing a psychiatrist first.
12 clean days behind me.
Baruch Hashem.

Have a great day and week everyone!

PS. Uri, thanks for keeping your promise.    And, it was soooo cool to meet you in person!