bs"d

Thanks Momo. To you too a good day and an easy fast!

Heilige Super Momo,

(sorry for jumping over the mechitzah) I just had the zchus of reading your thread .

I am awed by your persistence throughout your struggle ,and your strength to remain positive and continue going, even after you fall!

Stay strong and keep inspiring!!

Hi SuperMomo-

I'm happy to hear you are doing well. It was nice to share an honorable mention with you, especially on such a powerful presentation. have a good fast.

Momo

Just because you fell this morning does not mean that the rest of the day or the week for that matter has to deteriorate.  That is the voice of the addiction, "I've allready messed up this day, or this week, what's the point".  You can start your day again from now, and do the next right thing, what does Hashem want from you now, He certainly does not want you to act out again!  Why don't you call Battle and make contact with someone who understands you.

London

Im so sorry to hear about your fall Momo.

Not because we think any less of you, but because you are thinking less of yourself.

Nothing has changed in my mind. To me you are the definition of a real hero soldier; fighting the enemy till your very last breath, regardless of how wounded you are.

Momo; SMILE! Everyone here loves you. Now learn to love yourself

rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=239.0

Battleworn, very nice link! Thanks. Hard to imagine how Yosef was able to hold on after being told he lost 10 tribes, and he didn't give up, and kept 2 tribes.

Momo-
Your "fall" is overshadowed  by the "rising up" that you did afterwards by getting ready to fight again!

Momo, I don't think it will help you, but I just read your post and was crying. Your struggle is sooo familiar. You're not crazy. We're all sick and trying to help ourselves.

Look what you're doing tonight instead of surfing, your helping yourself AND other yiddishe neshomos struggling just like you. Through your fall yest. , you're offering compassion and help to others. like me.

If that's not a hero, then what is?

Dear MoMo:

NoNo!

What you are saying is not correct. YOU are not sick. When you separate yourself from this disease, and make a partition, you will see that you, and the disease are separate. The disease is NOT you!, And you are NOT the disease. Yes, this disease is inside of you but it is NOT YOU!!!
  The real YOU is someone who wants better. The real you is someone who wants to return to Hashem. And the real YOU, is the one who is writing on this forum. PLease don't accept this confusion of the y"h. This confusion is the most poisenous part of this insidious disease. We can all heal from our falls. In fact this is what they are for. For us to use as a springboard. The lower we fall, the more tension we find in the spring to fling us higher than before. Many times it is even Hashem himself through his infinite chesed who throws us down so low so that we will finally wake up. This means that if we DO use the fall as a springboard, then it turns in to GOOD. BUT, MoMo, please NoNo, do NOT drink this poisenous concoction of the y"h...i.e. this confusion.and believe that you and the disease are one,and the same.
    Do you think that the y"h is happy with this post you just wrote? NoNo. But, he is happy if you eat yourself up. Please MoMo don't let him become happy.

Rebbie Nachman says that we can be broken hearted for one hour each day....the rest of the time SIMCHA!!!  Have already put in your 1 hour? I think the answer is yes. NOW turn the tables on this menuval and....start to dance! You are stonger than him, and just the fact that you wrote your post above shows that you ARE holding by a medreiga. You are NOt on the bottom rung. What's the proof? There are people doing this all day long, and they are happy with themselves. And you, you are looking to do tshuva.  You Will Be Successful!!!!!!!!!!

bs"d

Momo,

this post is one of the most sincere things i have ever heard. How difficult it must have been for you to write this. But if our struggle with the y"h can be compared to two people physically fighting, then i can not imagine a more powerful slap back into the y"h's face. I pray that HaShem gives you strength to continue. I hope that you, your wife and your son are going to be ok and blessed with Shalom and understanding.

I just made some minor corrections to that quote. Reb Momo, yi'ush - giving up- is the y'h's last resort weapon. When all else fails and he sees that he's about to lose the whole war, he tries to "nuke" you with yi'ush. When he resorts to that you can tell that he's really really desperate. And if you survive the atom bomb, you're on the way to the great victory.

AND YOU DID IT! INSTEAD OF GIVING UP YOU VOWED TO KEEP GOING! YOU WON!!!

But that dirt-bag doesn't know how to admit defeat so even after you decimate him he blows the trumpets of victory. And he makes his victory speech to you (like Tzipi Livni). He says "Momo I won - I succeeded in proving to you that you're just a sick animal, with no connection to Hashem" It doesn't bother him in the least that the the truth is the exact opposite; that in fact you just displayed the greatest type of gevurah in the world, that you just proved that you're a "chelek eloka mima'al" and you're therefore invincible, that even after getting nuked by the menuval you're right back here in this Mokom Kodosh the very next morning.

It's about time we expose his lies and reveal the truth: Momo HaTzadik is bringing the Ge'ulah When Moshi'ach comes everyone will want to know why there's such a tremendous light emanating from Momo.

And Hashem will tell them "THIS IS MY DEAR HOLY SON THAT DIDN'T LET GO OF ME EVEN IN THE DARKEST DARK OF ALL DARKS. THIS IS MY HOLY WARRIOR THAT STOOD UP TO THE MOST DEVASTATING WEAPONS IN THE WORLD"

It will be considered a great zechus to even get to talk with you a few words. Everyone will try to understand how on earth it's possible to not give up after getting nuked like that. And Hashem will say גם בעיני יפלא

Dear Momo, the kotzker Rebbe said that there is nothing as "whole" in the world as a "broken heart". I feel your pain very strongly, because we all know how insidious this disease is. I think "me" answered you beautifully. It is like a cancer r"l. Does someone who has a relapse look at himself as evil, as bad? He knows that he is very ill, he needs chemo. The best chemo for this disease - truly the last hope for the "hopeless" - is working the 12-Steps into our lives with a sponsor. How can you possibly consider leaving Duvid Chaim's group? This is our last hope. It is good you recognize how deep this disease is ingrained, for this will be your greatest push to continue with the group and truly take it as a drowning man grasps at a life-saver. When you have THAT attitude, you will surely see success. That is how all the really success stories were able to see such success. That is how our "Captian Dov" saw success. Davka when we hit bottom and realize we are powerless over our disease. Who knows if this fall was not Hashem's gift to you to truly be able to do the first step - of hitting bottom, admitting powerlessness, and SURRENDERING.

I want to tell you an amazing thing. Sometimes when someone is in a lot of pain and I am not sure what to tell them, I open a Zohar and look for some inspiration. Well, yesterday, someone on this forum (that you, Momo, correspond with  - but I don't want to say who) was in a terrible situation. A lot of pain. On the edge of abyss. And I opened a Zohar for them and pointed to a section about the Yetzer Hara (see below). Now listen to this strange thing. When I read your post today, I opened the Zohar and saw exactly the SAME THING as yesterday. I was amazed.  You can look up the Zohar in the very beginning of Parshas Vayeshev...

It talks about the Pasuk "Rabos ra'os latzadik, u'mikulam yatzilenu Hashem  - many are the evils of a Tzadik, and from them all Hashem saves him" - and the Zohar says that as soon as a person is born he gets a Yetzer hara. And although animals know from day one to stay away from fire, but humans, because of the Yetzer Hara, don't know how to guard themselves from fire since the Yetzer Hara is always convincing him to go in bad ways...  And the Zohar brings the Pasuk "Yeled Chacham u'misken, melech zaken u'kesil"... The Yeled Chacham u'misken is the Yetzer Tov. (He is younger than the Yetzer Hara since we get him only at Bar Mitzva). But the Melech zaken u'kesil is the Yetzer Hara who pushes us into bad ways.

This applies exactly to your situation! Although we know it's fire, the Yetzer Hara pushes us into it. This is normal. We have to learn the ways to guard ourselves from him. And this is exactly what you are doing by installing a filter at home as well, and by continuing on the phone with Duvid Chaim and the life-saving 12-Step program.

Like "Me" wrote, get up now and dance!. Duvid Hamelech says in tehhilim "Mehulal Ekra Hashem, U'me'oivai Ivashe'a"... - I will praise the Lord and from my enemies I will be saved.... Instead of crying out for Hashem to save us, we can praise Him for all the kindness in our lives - and automatically we will be saved from our enemies.

Rejoice that you have us, you have Duvid Chaim, and best of all, Hashem is on your side. Think about it: He kept you alive after your fall last night, right? That means he is giving you more precious time on this world, because he loves you and trusts you that you'll make it.

This is the tikkun of your soul. You came all the way down to this world and will live hopefully 100 years - mainly for this. Did you think you'd have it all solved within a few months?

P.S. Remember the awesome Baseball game Moshol someone (I wonder who) once posted...

P.P.S. Listen to this 5 minute audio clip.

By the way Momo, I have to share with you one last point. They say in AA: "We are just as sick as our secrets!".

By sharing your fall with us here, and not withholding anything, you have proven that you are deep into the process of HEALING.

Thank G-d for that!!

Dearest Momo,

There is so much I want to tell you, and to share with you right now. Unfortunately, a guest is due over any minute and I wont have time to complete it. iyH I will write to you as soon as I can. In the meantime, please read what I wrote on my thread.

Guard in his tzidkus protected my identity when he told you about 'someone else', but I openly admit it was me. hey; we were zoche to the same Zohar! To me, that really proves that recently, the YH has been in panic mode and bechira at a minimum!

Your last post scares me dear Momo.



Do you honestly believe that a sick person needs punishing? Do you punish your beloved children when they get the flu? Isn't the flu punishment enough? And why would illness need punishing? I must be missing something.

As I wrote in my thread. There is no "I" on GYE. "We" fell, "we" are hurting, "we" will yet conquer.
Why are you trying to punish US?