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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
TOPIC: bardichev's battle 170138 Views
Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 05:00 #41622
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 05:01 #41623
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 05:02 #41624
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 05:24 #41636
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 05:28 #41637
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whatever u say....
:  big brothers... |
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 05:43 #41642
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You know, I was at the chasunah too!! You might have noticed me. After bumping into walls too often when trying to avoid looking, I just started wearing a football helmet on backwards. Not only does it give me a premium level of protection from seeing thing that might trigger me, it also protects me when I bump into walls, cars, buildings and the Abominable snowman..
You should try it sometime!!! PS Backwards football helmets pair real well with a couple tipples from the W bottle 
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 06:18 #41668
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 06:41 #41676
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 10:41 #41700
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Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 11:32 #41711
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 11:36 #41712
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 13:16 #41734
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 17:14 #41851
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a very interesting converstation between pentinant and REBBEREBER=DOV
i added breaks to make this readable penitent wrote on 31 Dec 2009 04:56: I read a lot of the white paper re:SA. I do see myself in that and relate it to my own experiences. I do have a problem though with understanding all this "lust" etc. Maybe I look at myself and my relationship with my wife... I have all these thoughts in my head.... part of me wants to break down and cry, as so many times before. The gemara in Yoma 74: says in the name of R' Zeira "Tov mar'eh aynayim mehalach nafesh.. Tov mar'eh aynayim b'isha, yoter m'gufah shel ma'aseh" To look is always better than the actual deed. It's the musings we conjure up in our minds that is exciting. It's intersting to note that scientifically, the sympathetic system is responsible for arousal, erection, while the parasympathetic system-which calms us down- is responsible for ejaculation. I always thought that the final Zing would be carried out by the system that is responsible for an excitatory response. In reality, you could say it's all over when that time arrives. Am I too deep? Anyone have any clue what I'm saying? Do I??? My original question is that chazal recognize human nature. To call it lust and label it a problem i.e. say I have a disease and to give me a cure seems extreme. Maybe I am in denial. See what I mean by thoughts in my head? Did chazal call that lust? maybe. but they stress controlling the yetzer. There is a book called Cheshbon Hanefesh which was written 150 years before Pavlov dogs, which really targets behavior modification. I recommend it highly. Chazal may tell us of Gedarim we should set but it's another thing to put it into practice. REBBEREBER=DOV answwers in not -so-dovish quote=dov" link=topic=763.msg40619#msg40619 date=1262284223] Dear Penitent - Yes, it is clear that the different nervous systems work that way, as I have shared with some people out of my own experience. I'll PM you something about that issue specifically. I love you. Period. So, please consider taking what I will share with you the way it is meant - not at all as criticism - only as a sharing of my experience with you. Besides, as "imtrying25" will tell you, I haven't had a rant in a while, so it's about time.... You ask about SA's use of the term "Lust". You are bringing up chazals to understand the term, rather than using examples from your own personal experience with your own problem. I'm all for chazal, but if we are trying to uncover what is really going on within us, it would seem that being honest with ourselves is far more important than what a sefer says. If folks say this borders on apikorsus, then my response to them is that I'll gladly choose honesty in gehinom over dishonesty in Gan eden, any day. Why? Because the only thing that saved me from my personal gehinom in addiction - and it was gehinom (I need no chazal or sefer to tell me that) - was honesty. And in my case, I needed a chevra and a sponsor to help me do that. I found that in SA. Besides, chazal tell us that this world is an olam hafuch - those who are high here are are low there. To me that includes us when our frumkeit that is external - only in our brains, like Eisav's big head. Trust me, when we inject some shameless personal honesty into the mix, Torah becomes incredibly more powerful as a force in our lives. V'anavim yirshu aretz. The one's who seem low on the outside, are really high. Kapeesh? On the other hand, being frummer did me no good, it was doomed to forever be a half-measure because - after all - I was the one defining and enacting the "frumkeit". It seems that you are in the same boat, otherwise why are you here? ;D Do you get what I mean? What do chazal mean when they tell us: "Derech Eretz Kodmah L'Torah"? To me, this is exactly what they are talking about. Don't look to the Torah to save you when you are insane. How can you expect to succeed while you'll be the one applying and measuring it? The basis of all frumkeit is personal responsibility. Darf zeyn a mentch, ershtence. The yidden at Har Sinai had to be healed before they could accept the Torah, right? Yidden need to have some basic mental health - specifically self-honesty - to use Torah successfully as instructions for living. Otherwise it's known, but not applied - hey! kind of like in our case, right? The GYE-er: a frum yid who just can't "get frum" in this area...drives us nuts, doesn't it? In fact, a total shoteh is totally patur from the mitzvos. We in addiction are not true shotim, only full of "ruach" shtus. We are not p'turim, but seem doomed to fail at it. This insanity is clearly discussed in all 12 step literature. If you want to talk about it more, I'll gladly share my insanity with you (that sounds funny, doesn't it?). So, I ask you (as chazal put it): how can a "chavush be matir himself from the beis ha'asurim"? Chazal inform us that he can't. And who is more of a chavush than an addict? No one, to me. Isn't the self-application of Torah exactly what all of us do for years and years until we make enough of a mess of things that we finally reach out for help, as you are? Keep reaching for help. It's here. Now, maybe we can talk about lust a bit..... [/quote] ok now the truckdriver rebbe of woodford and bardstown kentucky come in to ekplain in plain english what REBBE REB BER=DOV is sayin take it away bards.... Pentinent I am a talmid of the RebbeRebBer=DOV Although I never spent a day in his yeshivah There is a language called Dovish You need to learn Dovish to "chapp" DOV I used to fight rebberebdov Why cause I was so "macho" I was armed to the teeth with Chazal Courage Resolve Humor A mouth like a trucker I was convinced DOV was a crazy robot apikoress Pentinent Let's make cheshbon hanefesh together When we were in the thick of our taava Didn't we know all these chazals Didn't we have the courage Didn't we have all the machoness that a loser (sic) that dov is missing And and and We still had no control If anything we used some chazal(I did) to boost our YH Hello who is the apikores Me and my chazal or dov and his 12 steps Hey I am not a 12 stepper But we need to learn from dov As long as "I" fight the YH "I" is in big trouble When I surrender I don't know ginoi(exactly) how dov taitches surrender but bardichev thinks it means when we remove the "zhich" the stoopid monkey in the middle GAAVA From the equation I am again not a 12 stepper But what DOV says is when a man is clearly not a bar sechel we cannot use sichliyos first he must be a man Yes we can become a man again thru Torah By realizing that we are so helpless witout HKB"H Coming from a non-12 guy All dov is teaching us is what is pshat in the gemara "ilmalai HKB"H ozroi lo yachal loi" Hashem doesnot need our helP we need his and we need a lot of it I know I write a lot of jokes on the forum . I do it to cheer myself up and to cheer up people like DOV and everyone else .Simcha is my key weapon and DOV uses it If u look in the ohr hachaim in ekev he says a lot of what I say here I have a posotive spin that it is never too late to start living I call it Keep on trucking!! Jump on my truck!! DOV comes here too (sources say) W A T L I T W Bards |
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 18:59 #41920
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Re: bardichev's battle 04 Jan 2010 19:10 #41924
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