Elyonim Sasu Visachtonim Alzu bi'Knisas Barditchev Le'GUE!

"70" wow! I hope to follow in your foot steps & get there in one piece.

I'm Holding strong even after having what they call "withdrawal symptoms".

I finally broke the news to my wife last night, I just couldn't live like this anymore. (hiding my addiction from her)

she thought I was having a midlife crisis because I was not acting myself the past week. it was getting unbearable to go it alone without her helping me. so after crying like a kid for 15 min. (I don't cry easily) I broke the news to her & thank G-D she was very supportive. (as much as she was dumb struck)

I feel like I removed a huge stone off my heart.

I had a nisoiyoin today that I'm proud to report that I won.

I was looking through my backup files on my computer when I realized that even thou I deleted all bad filed from my computer the backup thou still had them. so here comes the Evil One & tells me just take a peak to make sure that they are dirty files or Images before I delete them of cores.

it wasn't easy but B"H I just got rid of them & I was saved by hashem.

The Fight Goes On
Efshar L'Taken
Ashreco Yisroel

Dear Efshar Letaken - Your wife's reaction may go through some uneven changes over the next few weeks as the full emotional impact of your revelations set in. She is obviously a high-quality person, putting your relationship first. Nevertheless, most people, even the best, are not made for these kinds of surprises and what was once responded to with sadness or pity can bring up anger and fear a little later on. Obviously, we are powerless over our wives. My wife needed a lot of space and, from me, trust in simple things like keeping my time commitments (to her, especially), and being truthful with her all the time. Surprisingly, I found out it was not fair to her for me to share about my present nisyonos with her - it tended to cause her dismay and fear, as she is relatively normal and my nisyonos themselves are rather shocking to her - even if I am not nichshol. For that, I use program guys, using her only when I cannot tell anyone else, as a last resort, when I feel sure I need to tell a person to stay safe.
Hatzlocho to both of you good people!

Dov, you stole the words out of my mouth! I was going to tell him the same thing. The wives are often sympathetic and supportive at first, but then we can expect a few sleepless nights in the coming days as well. It is very, very hard for the woman to find out about the things we did. She always thought she was the only one in our life. Even though we explain her that we don't care for the thousands of others we have looked at - it is hard, very hard, for her to swallow.

If she has a crisis, and I hope she won't, make sure to keep telling her how much you love her and how much she means to you. Tell her that the on-line images meant nothing to you, it is just a disease. Tell her you are working hard now on yourself, and this is your tikkun - and she is your partner to help you grow. And whatever nice things you can say, even if they aren't 100% true - a woman likes to hear them.

And you should know that if it hurts her a lot, it is a blessing for you in disguise. She will be one of your main incentives never to go down that road again. So let her "kick your behind" a bit - if it comes to that. It is for your good. Tell her how much you need her support and tell her that even though it pains you, her frustration will help you to be angry at yourself as well, so you don't even dream of going back into the pit again.

We are amazed at your fortitude and determination. You are going to Kabalas hatorah with some powerful life-changes. May you see miracles and accept the Torah with love, like on the day it was given!

Thanks Reb Dov & Reb Guard.

It always helps to know ahead of time what to expect this way we are ready for it.

The same is true with the Y"H. If we know what his battle plans are we can be ready & know what to look out for.

GYE is very helpful in this area, since everyone shares there battle experiences.

hopefully in the Zechus of People like you we will be zoiche to the geuleh very soon.

There is no doubt that what we are doing is Ripping through the heavens above.

Hashem tells his Malochim "CHAZI CHAZI BONAI BONAI, BONAI CHAVIVAI, SHEMISHTAKCHIN B'TSARO DELHOIN, V'OSKIN B'CHEDVOSO DILEE!" Look upon my beloved children that forget there own Pain & dwell on my Torah.

May Hashem help us that we should be able very soon to look back & see what are fight accomplished! (except for are own good) HAREINI HASHEM CHASDECHO!

May we all be Zoiche this Mattan Torah to purify are hearts so that we can serve Hashem B'Emes V'TAHER LIBEINI L'OVDECHO B'EMES.

Bardichev,
B"H 54 full days.
Every morning we say the bracha Matir Asurim, Baruch Ata Hashem Who releases the chained.  I never understood how that specific bracha was related to us until now.

Hello all tzaddikim

this forum is like HAR SINAI
whoever i s here is humbly trying to accept the way of HASHEM.

We come from all different shvatim .We may all look different have different backgrounds or minhagim.We are here for a common cause to beat our addiction to become stronger and better each and every day.

We have the KOACH HARABIM we each look out for one another and give each other the advice chizzuk  or just listen to what is on another persons mind.

WE ARE WINNING THE BATTLE.WE ARE STRONG  AND GETTING STRONGER.
Every day new soldiers are joining the ranks
Every day thereis more and more kedusha filling the world where there was once tumah
every day we realize that Without Hashems help we would be totally helpless

ON a personal note

I woul like to thank the HEILIGE GUARD and all the tzadikkim on this site for keeping me strong

B"H it is day 71!!

Ithink I am dreaming this is so  unbeleivable

I hope to get more and more chizzuk from yom tov shavuos .I hope to hold strong

see you all after yomtov

HOLD SHTARK!!!

HASHEM LOVES US MORE THAN WE COULD EVER LOVE ANYTHING!!!!

humble and VERY HAPPY!!!
GUT YOM TOV

bardichev

REB LEVY YITZCHAK IS SMILING

Great post, Bardichev. 

A heartfelt Yasher Koach on hitting 71 days! 

To everyone out there: Have a wonderful Yom Tov, Shabbos, and Kabbolas HaTorah!

Dearest friends I am at day 75

I thank you all for the constant chizzuk.

Last week we spoke about the "inside job"

If I may I would like to take that thought one level up.

BTW here is a disclaimer this will be a Torah thought .I’m sure no one will have a problem with that.

This weeks parsha (for those in chutz la'aretz) is NASSO

Parshas Naso contains in it the Parsha of SOTTA

Rash"i enlightens us on the connection between the parsha of matnas kehuna (the parsha before sotta) and Sotta.
says Rashi"i one who dose not bring to the Kohen what he deserves will eventually need to bring a korban sotta to the bais hamikdash.

If I may ask a small question what is the connection between a person being stingy on what he is obligated to bring the Kohen have to do with his wife’s behavior or rather misbehavior?

The answer can be when a person is selfish he is the center of his universe. He can not share his money he can not share his time his attention his love his heart his life.

The Torah is teaching all of us a lesson it is not merely a punishment to the person that holds back from the Kohen it is an indication what kind of person he is.

The addiction we deal with is fed by a craving for self gratification. That as an end is a catalyst to negative behavior. If we were to view success in life in relationships as how much I can give someone else how much I can make another person feel loved.
Then both husband and wife would have no need to look for more and look outside their marriage.
If one wre to give his spouse all that he can selflessly of course she would be ecstatic .So would  he, for he has become the ultimate giver .

With Torah blessings
Humble and happy
bardichev

Beautiful and so profound.  Thank you so much.

Bardichev,

This appears to be your own original thought.  You're a real Baal Machshavah.  Chazak v'Ematz!

I humbly admit it is a machshavah that I was zoche to today.

I really would have never been zoche to this a few  months ago.

I used to be mechadesh chidushei Torah on a weekly basis .A lot of it  I wrote down  in notebooks I keep at home.

Four years ago I really got involved in this addiction the wells of Torah just shut down.

CHAVAL AL DI-AVDIN.AL AILEH ANEE BOCHEE-AH

h&h
bardichev

Dear Berdichever - Boruch Hashem! We are so fortunate to be among those allow Hashem in, to walk with Him and be his precious children. Your days are precious. When I read your post it reminded me of Sarah imeinu who counted each day a precious gift. Thank-you for sharing your success with us. Chazak ve-ematz biyeshuas Hashem Elokei Yisroel!

(there are very few websites where you can get away with a comment like that!)

You got involved only four years ago?  I first got the Internet almost 12 years ago, and I stumbled the first day (I had my clean periods, but they never lasted.  Instead, I kept doing Teshuva, sinning again, doing Teshuva, sinning again, etc.).  I had serious issues before the Internet, as well. 

Don't look back, Bardichev - that isn't like you.  Look only ahead - the opportunities are limitless, if we keep our focus, one day at a time.

Truly a beautiful vort!