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bardichev's battle
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: bardichev's battle 173809 Views

Re: bardichev's battle 01 May 2009 06:07 #4675

  • Ykv_schwartz
Thank you "me" for this beautiful principle.
Last Edit: by testmansp2.

Re: bardichev's battle 01 May 2009 07:53 #4677

  • me
Come to think of it, the reason that it is in fact SO difficult to maintain a high level of Simcha, is due to the fact that THIS is the "nuclear arsenol" against the y"h.
Last Edit: by Tikvah011.

Re: bardichev's battle 01 May 2009 17:16 #4679

  • bardichev
I need to explain my post from yesterday.

what i was trying to bring out is that there is a 2 step preocess azivas hachet and kaballa al ha-asid.PERIOD.

I am not trying to belittle the fact that many peolpe have deep psycologocical problems and need to seek professional help.
Either they always had problems and the problems triggerd or got worse with the addiction. OR the addictive behavior on its own created poblems.( I am not a professional,obiously)

What I would like to say is that if you can BREAK FREE then there is no reason to look back why and how you got there.Part of the reason you are looking back is something inside (Y"H) that says dont give this up all the way.

I know that there are different minhagim in every circle of klal yisroel ,by chasidim they say the AL_CHET of YOM KIPPUR very quickly.For this very reason .

WITH HUMILITY AND GRADITUDE TO EVERYONE HERE I AM GOING 43 DAYS STRONG.43 is gematria GAM my tefilla is TINATEN LI GAM MACHAR that I should continue on this path .I couldnot do it without all the chizuk I am getting here.

I would also like to know if any one agrees wiyh me that it takes more time talent creativity to maintain and hide the addiction than to overcome it?
Let me know

everyone should have a wonderful Heilige Shabbos

humbled and happy
bardichev
Last Edit: by wtest2.

Re: bardichev's battle 02 May 2009 20:14 #4684

  • me
I would also like to know if any one agrees wiyh me that it takes more time talent creativity to maintain and hide the addiction than to overcome it?


I would say that it is practically impossible to hide the addiction, and the ONLY way to "maintain it" is to overcome it.

This is why we are here. We were never successful in hiding this addiction. It will always flare up.

I would compare the 'hiding" of this addiction to one who has a gun. The gun is loaded, the hammer is pulled back, and the person's finger is on the trigger. It only takes one second and that finger squeezes the trigger. We all not what that means. We hear an explosion, and this explosion is something that was always festering, and "going to happen", eventually.

Now, someone who is going to "overcome" the addiction is involved in a process.

First: They remove their finger from the loaded gun.
Second: They release the hammer.
Third: They unload the gun
Fourth: They throw away the gun.
Last Edit: by testchart3.

Re: bardichev's battle 03 May 2009 18:31 #4689

  • mggsbms
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there is a fascinating shtikel from the chidushei harim on yom kipur were he tells his chasidim not to look back because if you look back to the "blute" your still in there, it"s printed in the sefer "likutei yehudah" on yom kipur
Aka -  Mischadeish075 Email mischadeish075@gmail.com
Last Edit: by emunah19.

Re: bardichev's battle 03 May 2009 19:42 #4691

  • the.guard
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Thank you for sharing that.

Mgsbms, do  you want to get up on the Wall of Honor for your journey to 90 days? See the rules here...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by robtree.

Re: bardichev's battle 04 May 2009 20:19 #4715

  • bardichev
With great emotion I am B"H halfway to my 90 day goal .Today is also the halfway mark of sefira.
I was thinking that the half mark of sefira is netzach shebinetzach.eternal of eternal. netazach also means to win.

Let us all keep on trying to win back our neshamos to keep our eyes and minds holy and to control the addictive behavior.

Does anyone realize how major vibes of Teshuva are pulsating from this forum.Y"H is really losing ,his prison door was hacked open by this forum. Do you see how many heilige neshamos are breaking free? Lets all give them the chizuk to come on board and become the true people they want to be not mind numbed robots robbed of a potential because of this terrible addiction.

It is brought down in seforim that when someone does teshuvah he is gorem he causes others to do the same .Our collective milchemes hayeter is having ripple affects it is calling out
SHUVU BONIM!!!! SHUVU BONIM!!!

humbled and happy
bardichev

Last Edit: 04 May 2009 20:37 by .

Re: bardichev's battle 04 May 2009 22:03 #4717

  • the.guard
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Mazal Tov Barditchov!

Everyone, let's learn from this fiery Jew, as he said: "AL TIRA VA-AL TAICHAS. We're already on the winning team!"


שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל אַתֶּם קְרֵבִים הַיּוֹם לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֵיכֶם אַל יֵרַךְ לְבַבְכֶם אַל תִּירְאוּ וְאַל תַּחְפְּזוּ וְאַל תַּעַרְצוּ מִפְּנֵיהֶם:
כִּי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם הַהֹלֵךְ עִמָּכֶם לְהִלָּחֵם לָכֶם עִם אֹיְבֵיכֶם לְהוֹשִׁיעַ אֶתְכֶם

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 04 May 2009 22:05 by Pesach.

Re: bardichev's battle 06 May 2009 16:54 #4759

  • bardichev
Join me in saying mazel tov to the tzadik yesod oilam
                              to

Reb Ykv_scwartz Shlit"a

Last Edit: by searching for help.

Re: bardichev's battle 06 May 2009 20:03 #4770

  • Ykv_schwartz
Thank you, bardichev.  You have been such a source of strength for me.  I look forward to sharing in your simcha.
Last Edit: by martin.

Re: bardichev's battle 07 May 2009 23:23 #4809

  • bardichev
hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyom tesha varbaim youm shehem sheva shavous la...
I promise you all I can not beleive it .This is not the same person that started this count seven weeks ago.

Thank you rabeinu gaurd and all th etzaddikim on the board

I am so overcome i will leave you with a line you have all heard before.

Friends are those who accept you for who you are but see you as the person you really want to be

thankyou ,friends
humlble and happy
bardichev
Last Edit: by .

Re: bardichev's battle 08 May 2009 17:31 #4819

  • bardichev
owe my life to all of you here

today is pesach sheni today is day 50 for me .
I can not beleive it

may we all give each other koach to keep on fighting

untill v,aasa HAKADOSH BURICH-HU vishachat limalach hamaves (Y"H satan) dishachet lishochet....


thank you is too small a word . I owe you my life

very humble and very happy
bardichev
Last Edit: by lespaul13.

Re: bardichev's battle 09 May 2009 22:01 #4829

  • the.guard
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Mazal Tov Tzadik, on hitting 50 days!
I updated your chart and you are now at Level 5.
You were crowned with the "Giborei Koach Oseh Devaro" crown!
50 days is a very significant number. The Ohr Hachayim writes that the Yidden needed to count 49 days - 7 weeks, kineged the 7 days of Niddah, to be purified from the tumah of Mitzrayim before kabbalas Hatorah on the 50th day! And you have been purified now for 7 weeks and there can't be a better hachana for kabalas Hatorah than that. Not only that, but Hashem made it fall out significantly on Pesach Sheini to show you how he's giving you a second chance.

We are very grateful to have you on our forum and in the community. Your "fire" is very warming to us all.

Download and read the two handbooks. If you thought that there was so much Chizuk on the website and forum, now you will be able to internalize it in a much more organized way!
I would like to hear feedback from you on them. Please share your thoughts, Tzadik.

May Hashem give you the strength to go Mechayil El Choyil!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by test456.

Re: bardichev's battle 11 May 2009 21:13 #4881

  • bardichev
HELLO ALL

Today I am in a non-bardichev mood .If this would have been a few weeks ago I would be feeding my addiction with the non-excuse excuse that I’m in a bad mood.
I'm sorry to upset you,bardichev gets into a bad mood once in a while too.

So I'm going to post a bit here.

I’m sure all of you are following the (healthy) debate on this forum there are differences of opinion where our recovery fits in with different parts of mussar, teshuvah, etc...

I don't want to debate anyone here but of course I have some two cents to add.

But I have to make an introduction and a disclaimer.

Disclaimer; I never went to an SA or SLAA meeting. Nor do I rigorously follow the 12 steps.

Having said that I would like to make this observation .It seems to me that the wonderful people who set up this site, who monitor it and who spend the time to answer people’s questions. The people who gave us a ladder to climb out of the pit the bowels of the earth, those good souls who showed us by example that we have hope and gave us the opportunity or better yet the LAST CHANCE to recover. They deserve our recognition and thanks .

I am not saying you need to swallow everything hook line and sinker. Yet if their perspective is based on their own personal recovery or experience with SA and 12 steps I feel out of HAKAROS HATOV it should be beyond debate. Not that my intent is to quiet anyone’s voice, but here on this platform we should bow our heads with dignity to those that helped are helping and will continue to help us. Again I have no personal experience with the 12 steps but I belive that the last step is to help others so it is probably as an extension of that step that this forum was set up.

So lets all be grateful and invest our energies in battling our Y"Hs and keeping each other in check.

Having gotten all this off my chest we can take it one notch up. If you think about it, it is also ATZAS HAYETZER to get us to second guess ourselves to think hmmm maybe I am not doing the correct teshuva.Lets not fall into his trap a second time!

Dovid Hamelech in Perek 51 of Tehillim says Laminatzayach mizmor L'Dovid KA-ASHER baah al Bas-sheva. (We all know the Gemara Lo chata Dovid ella lihoros Teshuvah Liyachid). Usually we would understand KA-ASHER to mean right away as soon as he committed the sin Nilsson Hanoi came to him. Which is a lesson in its own right that Dovid Hamelech was MODEH and did Teshuvah Right away without denying and evading the navi (unlike king Shaul and Shmiel Hanavi which is a different discussion)
Another pshat I heard said over in the name of the Skulener Rebbe Ztz"l KA-ASHER can mean in the same manner that Dovid Hamelech committed the sin, the same koach the same geshmak everything was the same.

I feel we can apply a very strong lesson from this vort .We all are addicts we are or were addicted to lusting (no debating that) we have to take our passion our fire our zeal ,even our LUST and put it into our Avodas Hashem, our relationships, and our self improvement. Many times a person will say I'M not nuts I wont daven with a BREN I’m just not that type I’m not the type to get excited by kabbalas shabbos I’m not the person who expresses himself and shows emotion. Says Dovid Hamelech Get PASSIONATE mit a BREN .Light a fire get lebedik not farsluffin.
Take all that energy and use it to light up your life and light up the lives of the people who love you the most. Light up the entire world...
If you read this waaay too long post thank you. I am feeling much more bardichev-like now.
Humble and happy
bardichev

p.s. if you’re in Meron please dance for all of us here in galus
Last Edit: by .

Re: bardichev's battle 12 May 2009 00:15 #4890

  • yetzertov
Ok Bardichev,  here goes the story. I had originally placed regarding the debate bet Yaakov and Guard in the Victory post. Enjoy it.





Tightrope of Life

By Moshe Bryski

In the days of communism's fierce grip on the Soviet Union, there lived a Chasidic Jew named Reb Mendel Futerfas. Reb Mendel repeatedly put his life at risk with his efforts to promote Jewish education behind the Iron Curtain, and for some 14 years was incarcerated in prisons and labor camps for his "crime" of teaching Torah. While in the Siberian gulag, he spent most of his free time studying and praying, but he also interacted and conversed with other prisoners -- some Jewish, some not. Among these prisoners was a circus performer whose claim to fame was his incredible skill as a tightrope walker.

Reb Mendel would often engage this man in conversation. Having never been to a circus, Reb Mendel was totally baffled by the man's profession. How could a person risk his life walking on a rope several stories above ground? (This was in the days before safety nets were standard practice.)

"To just go out there and walk on a rope?" Reb Mendel challenged incredulously.

The performer explained that due to his training and skill, he did not need to be held up by any cables and that, for him, it was no longer all that dangerous. Reb Mendel remained skeptical and intrigued.

After Stalin died, the prison authorities relaxed their rules somewhat and the guards told the prisoners that they would be allowed to stage a makeshift circus on May Day. There was no doubt that the famous tightrope walker's act would be the highlight of the show. The tightrope walker made sure that his friend, Reb Mendel, was in the audience.

Everyone watched with baited breath as the tightrope walker climbed the tall pole to the suspended rope. His first steps were timid and tentative (after all, it had been several years) but within a few seconds, it all came back to him. With his hands twirling about, he virtually glided across the rope to the pole at the other end, and then, in a flash, made a fast turn, reversed his direction and proceeded back to the other side. Along the way, he performed several stunts. The crowd went wild.

When he was done, he slid down off the pole, took a bow and went running straight to Reb Mendel.

"So?" he said. "Did you see that I was not held up by any cables?"

A very impressed Reb Mendel replied, "Yes. You're right. No cables."

"OK. You're a smart man. Tell me, how did I do it? Was it my hands? Was it my feet?" the man asked.

Reb Mendel paused for a moment, closed his eyes and replayed the entire act back on his mind. Finally he said, "It's all in your eyes. During the entire time, your eyes were completely focused and riveted on the opposite pole."

"Exactly!" said the performer. "When you see your destination in front of you and you don't take your eyes off of it, then your feet go where they need to go and you don't fall."

The tightrope walker had one more question for Reb Mendel. "What would you say is the most difficult part of the act?"

Again Reb Mendel thought for a moment. "Most difficult was the turn; when you had to change direction."

"Correct again!" said the acrobat. "During that split second, when you lose sight of that first pole, and the other pole has not yet come into view, there is some real danger there. But... if you don't allow yourself to get confused and distracted during that transition, your eyes will find that pole and your balance will be there."


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