And quite obviously speaking from the heart.

I have also been very involved in the kiruv scene, and stopped when my son's became teenagers. I daven it wasn't to late.

Charity begins at home as they (correctly) say.

I tell my kids I'm doing Kiruv... It's not easy for them that I am so involved in it and not enough with them... I can see what you mean. But what can I do? "Set aside time for them each day", you'll say. Well, I try to eat supper with them. I learn with my son, hmm... Everyone, please Daven for me that the "kiruv" I do shouldn't cause "resentment" in my wife or children.

Rabeinu Guard,

I think the Kiruv on line is not what they are talking about as long as you are spending some quality time with your family as well.

I think what they are referring to is bring into your home People that can have a very negative effect on your own children, as well as effecting ourselves when we (Men) think we can be Mekarev Girls to & they end up being Mekarev us more then we do them.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

E.L.

RIGHT ON EFSHAR

REMEBER THERE ARE TONS OF PEOPLE DOING IT THE CORRECT WAY

MY PERSPECTIVE IS MINE
ONLY

PARTING SHOT:IF YOU ARE IN KIRUV YOU NEED A MOEREH DERCH!!!

VSECHEZENA EYNEY NU BISHIVCHA KITZION BRACHAMIM!!!

WOODFORD CAN WAIT 9 DAYS

HUMBLE (and happy)
bardichev

Guard,

Okay, another try, now that the comp gobbled up my first response >

As everyone here has said, bringing kiruv inot the home is very different than what you are doing.

I think  you need to be doing a cheshbon hanefesh. Did you start GYE, and continue running it for personal reasons? I dont mean because perhaps you can relate to the fight and wanted to share. Thats fine. What about for an ego boost? For kavod? For financial gain (!)? etc. If you answer yes to the above, its time to start davening very hard!

NOW
ask yourself these questions: Am I doing this because I want to help others? Because I know I have the ability? Because I feel this is my tafkid?
I find it impossible to even contemplate the idea that Hashem would 'punish' us for doing His ratzon leshem shamayim. Not only would He not make us suffer for it ruchnius wise (ie children),  but I cant believe He wouldnt be easing the way instead.

Daven for Siyata Dishmaya of course, and then "Let go and let G-d"!!!!!!!

As for the rest of us - we ALL have a RESPONSIBILITY to be davening for Guard and his family.

HASHEM SHOULD SHOWER THEM WITH ONLY BRACHOS AND CLEAR CHESED ALWAYS.

7Up wrote on 21 Jul 2009 20:54:


Believe me, R. Guard is not doing this for financial gain!

R. Guard, the dilemma is that you are engaged in tremendously important Avodas Haklal, but need to balance that with the needs of your family.  I have an idea, and I say it only in half-jest: some of us on this forum seem to have a lot of time on our hands.  How about this?  If anyone has a fall, c"v, they need to devote the amount of time spent on the fall or 2 hours, whichever is longer, helping out GYE.  It's like a sentence to perform community service.

Kedusha,

I think your on to something.

E.L.

Lol lol!!!!
The Guard doing this for financial gain??

I haven't seen how the GYE is exactly a $$$$ maker! Correct me here Guard if I'm wrong

I bet the guard is probably dipping into his own pocket to keep GYE going without even counting the zillions of man hours of love that he obviously puts into GYE.

Most importantly, there is no shadow of doubt in my mind,  that the success of this site is an attestation to the purity of the Guards intention.

The sucess of GYE can also be contributed to the  promises the Almighty made thru His prophets Malachi "behold I shall send Eliyahu Hanavi before...." And the prophesy of "behold days are coming.... there will be a great hunger" and the countless other promises that there will be a ground swell of Tshuva

Guard is at the vanguard!! Why you ask?
because  "mgalglin zchus al ydey zakai"

And what a zakai the Guard  surely is!!!!

WOW HOW DID MY LITTLE RANT ABOUT KIRUV BECOME A DISCUSSION ON THE HEILIGER GUARD?!

RABBOISSAI  PLEASE LETS START A CHIZZUK THREAD FOR THE HEILIGER GUARD

LETS BOMBARD IT WITH OVERFLOWING COMPLIMENTS

LETS DO IT QUICK

BEFORE HE SHUTS IT DOWN

bardichev

Woah! Slow done guys!

My post was not meant to ruffle any feathers!

I know that Guard is zakai and a tzaddik, and you know he is, and we all know that he is doing this leshem shamayim.
But Im not sure that was what he needed to hear when he posted his personal concerns. My guess is he was thinking of Bardichev; saying to himself "Tzaddik shmadik"; who me, no way?!"

The issue of financial gain was brought in specifically in order to show how rediculous it is. Just as rediculous as the idea of going through all the headches running such a site must be just for ego or kavod!

Cheshbon hanefesh is not a 'dirty' word, nor is it a gnei. It's somethnig we should all be doing daily. How else can we keep on the straight path without weaving left or right? Via cheshbon hanefesh, we understand who we are, what direction we are facing and map out how to reach our goal. But it is more than that. We think of it as a means to discover our shortcomings. We forget that by understanding where we are today compared to where we were yesterday, cheshbon hanefesh is the greatest encouragement tool at our disposal.
And THAT was what I wanted Guard to realize. Just how yashar he really is.

I ask mechilla from my Rebbe, Guard, as well as anyone else who may have misunderstood my words and been hurt for the sake of Guard. That was the furthest thing from my mind. How could I have meant negative? I OWE HIM MY NESHAMA?!

Hey everyone, I'm speechless at all the love. I love you all BACK!

I don't know about Tzadik and zakai... I'm just a regular guy, if you'd know me you'd see... There are too many things to even count that I still need to work seriously on... But I don't think that I'm doing this for Kavod or financial gain. However, I do enjoy helping people where Hashem has given me this opportunity. My wife and kids know that I enjoy it, so they can still feel some resentment sometimes, if I spend too much time doing what they perceive "I enjoy", and not spend enough time with them...

But I think 7Up said it good. If my motives are pure, Hashem will help that it shouldn't do harm. Let's just hope they are! Who can know the deepest reasons/motives in their own subconscious minds? Hashem knows us far better than we know ourselves  :D

Of-course I need to do my part as well, in making time for "family first". Another consolation is - that regardless of my own motives, the people on this site truly mean Lishaim Shamayim. And that can surely be a zechus for the Hatzlacha of my children's chinuch (and marriage too) hopefully.

Thanks everyone!

Holy 7 up,
. No feathers ruffeled!!

IMHO  The problem with cheshbon Hanefesh can be  that the  bal duver gets invloved in sticking in his 2 cents and distortiting the "books" of the nefesh. Which may render the "numbers" to reflect a bias towards what the YH wants us  to believe! His agenda!!!

That is why, asei lchoh rav is crucial. Lhavdil in the 12 steps we must confess to another human being.

My 2 cents
Noorah

This reminds of the story in the Gemorah where one of the sages when "up" to heaven and came back. Upon return his father asked him "what did you see there?" He replied "I saw a topsy turvy world! The ones on top were on bottom and the ones on bottom were on top!" Replied the father "you saw a clear world"!

When we get to see the clarity of the World to Come. We may find out that some of the people who sit in the "back of the Bais medrash" the ones we thought were just "regular" in this world, we come to find out that in the great Bais Medrash in Heaven theses people are sitting "oiven un" in the front row in the mizrach
There is a good chance we will be in for some surprises!!

Aham u get my drift .....Guard?

Love and good cheer and chizuk to all

Noorah

Reb Noorah,

I'm glad we see eye to eye again. Your opinion is important to me.

I fully agree with you about asei lecho rav. Everyone needs an objective person above him in order to keep perspective.

I still hold that a nightly cheshbon hanefesh can be a very helpful tool. A quick review of my day helps me see where I was weak, what I need to work on and where I excelled. Did I lose patience with my children without reason? Did I smile at the neighbor or ignore her? Did I resist yelling at the child who spilled the milk accidentally? When I finish, I have realistic goals for tomorrow, based on my strengths and weaknesses today.




The only one who may be surprised is Guard himself!