MAZEL TOV R' BARDICHEV  

I have been so out of things that I didn't even know about the big Simcha until this evening.

              זה היום עשה ד' נגילה ונשמחה בו                                                                         התהללו בשם קדשו ישמח לב מבקשי ד

Hashem should grant you many more clean years biz ah hundrit un tzvantzig! You should be zocheh to keep growing higher and higher every day, and to take us all along with you. And please keep the simcha coming non-stop!

                                                                                                    !!!!!!!! מזל טוב

With all this drinking taking place here R' Guard may have to open an AA thread here too 

Gevaldig Reb London!

I almost fell off my chair & this is with out drinking!

E.L.

Along the lines of the Bardichevers vort above: Yes, ashreinu!
I can't count on my fingers and toes (and i refuse to use anyone else's!) the times I have turned to look, "just to see if there is anything there I shouldn't be looking at, you know."  Now,  I generally leave this "important" research for the meshugenas who are more qualified to test it than I am! Boruch Hashem I can care about myself! And as a yid, I am taught by the people on this site that by doing that i am also:
* making a private kiddush Hashem
* doing the mitzvah of lo sasuru, and others
* getting more freedom from lust
* getting more sanity
* buying insurance (at a reasonable price) for my marriage, fatherhood and satying alive
* doing practically the only thing I can do today so that I may be sober tomorrow, as well!

Not a bad deal. It doesn't even take a yiddishe kopp to accept it! Be well!

PS. reb aaron - a lot of folks, including me, found a lot of power in saying: Tatty/Ribonoshelolam/G-d/my Best Friend forever/Etc., Please! Whatever it is I that i am looking for in the image of that woman/man/whatever, let me find it in You. It especialy works if you really mean it!
Another eitza I like that helps when davening for the true benefit of the person you are having trouble with is to recognize that even though they are total strangers to me, I'd certainly rush to save them if they'd be stuck in a burning car or attacked by dogs, for example. if so, I can care about them. Now: ask Hashem to give them a true thirst for proper awareness of Him, closeness to Him, seichel and clarity in what really matters in relationships (certainly not looks, fancy clothes and lust), sholom bayis and good health. Then get going with living! (as usual...what else is there?)

Thanks for that refreshment Reb Dov!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

E.L.

My Dear Brother Ahron

Thanks for reminding me what I need to do.  My problem is that I have been around the fellowships for a few years and have heard most of the answers, I need to come to this forum and hear other people share and be reminded on a daily basis what I need to do.  To answer your question Ahron, I was told by non-frum yid when I first came into recovery that just as when I wake up in the morning I wash negel vaser, and say modeh ani, or when I eat I make a Brocho, I do these things without thinking, they are second nature, so in recovery I am like a Ger or Baal Teshuvah (which I am) I have to practice these techniques and keep on practicing them, there will be times when I get frustrated or when my heart is not in it, but if I keep on doing them they will become second nature and I will not have to think about it.  I have trained myself over the years to notice triggers, I have a finely attuned lust radar in my head it is going to take a lot of hard work to switch it off.  I find that if the trigger is really bad that I will pick up the phone to a member of SA.  When I first joined SA my sponsor would and if I got triggered on the street my sponsor would tell me to pick up 10 pieces of garbage of the street, and I did it - any lengths, so if all else fails start collecting garbage.

Once again thanks for reminding me of the tools I need to stay clean.
London

hello all tzaddikkim

party is over now i am back to work

yesterday was a fun and holy day for me

I am so touched by all the nice things you all said

i am really honored to be able to have a part in the new sectiom BAIS MEDRASH

here is where i will post my battle and my musings and hopefully some jokes

being on the wall of honor looks daunting

the first time saw this site I thought I will never be on that wall

so back to work back to basics back to fighting tooth and nail one day at a time

humble and happy
bardichev

Dear Reb Aaron:

  I have found that most of us have hearts.....but they don't work. We spent most/all of our lives using ONLY our heads. We learned with our heads. We calculated our parnassa with our heads. We spoke to our spouses with our heads. But, yes, unfortunately we have a 10 foot wall of steel separating our hearts from our heads.  I see, and understand but....I don't "feel" it. I do what they say in the seforim but....there is no change. I have come to the meskanah that we must leave our heads, and work only with our hearts. Like the Rambam says when you want to change a midah, you need to go to the opposite extreme. To do this, we must stop thinking, and start "feeling". Our heads think, and our hearts "feel". This is why you/I don't feel anything.
  So how do I do this?  It may be more difficult for a mensch, but i have been trying to be more emotional,and friendly. In shul for example, I will try to greet people with a "real", and sincere smile. You have to pay attention to the difference. You can say "Boker Tov", and smile because you "decided" to do this, or you can think a moment and prepare to "really" do it....this means with your heart, and "FEEL" it. Try to see if you can feel your heart. Pay more attention to it, and start to exercise it.

If we can rebuild the connection between the brain, and the heart, we will have an entirely new world before us. We will be able to take the aitzahs of chaza'l, and after thinking them, we will then immediatley FEEL them work!

DOV = DE REBBE REB BER




THIS IS ONE OF THE OLDEST ATZAS HAYETZER IT STARTED WITH CHAVA

DO YOU KNOW THE ABIE ROTTENBERG SONG ALEF BAIS??

THE LAST LINE IN THE SONG IS " JUST MOVE ON THERE IS NOTHING HERE AT ALL...JUST MOVE ON THERE IS NOTHING HERE AT ALL..."
HUMTHIS SONG IN YOU HEAD IT WORKS!!

h&h
b
SEE YOU IN THE BAIS MEDRASH

BArdichev, LOVE THE new picture :D :D :D

My Chaver, Bardchev,

I apologize for the long delay in responding. My hard drive had died and I did not want to write from work.

ZE HASHA'AR LAHASHEM, TZADIKIM YAVO'U VO

BARUCH ATA HASHEM MATIR ASURIM

Bardichev, achi, let me extend you a heartfelt Mazal Tov and, as we would have said in a chasidishe tish or farbrengen,  a big Lechaim u'Levracha. As you know, the word "Levracha" which means "to be blessed",  can also be taiched as "Lev Racha", a soft(kind) heart.  This applies to you, who showed, during these 90 days, a true Achavas Yisroel  by giving words of advise to those in the forum, by reaching out to those "guests" not yet in the forum, and particularly, by reaching out to me personally as you know.


I have not much to add to the words of the giborim in this hot tread. I just wanted to express that more of what you have gained is what you have given to us. Your posts are characterized by a Simcha that can be truly felt. I envy (in this case envy is not asur ) your enthusiasm towards Hashem's Avoida. Everything in all the worlds have a neshama  and a guf ( a soul and body) and you are definetely the neshama of this forum.

May Hashem continue to derive nachas from your Avoda and may your zchus bring us closer to the geula.

PS   B'EH,  I recently came across some short chasidishe vorts related to Teshuva which I am sure you will enjoy. Bli neder, I will post them in your site in the near future.

With wishes of hatzlacha and a gut Shabbbos
YY

yy mazel tov you just became a JUNIOR on my thread

as you you know I will drink BREINAH woodford reserve

yy  will dance the kazazka the karrahut whatever you want

that vort of lev-racha is gevaldigg

a the holy brother shlomo would say
I bless you with .. SHABBOS
bardichev

Raboisai,

If you ever felt the taste of Shabbos you would understand what "I Bless you With Shabbos" means. It's a so deep! a Gevaliger Brocho!

In order to thank Hashem from the bottom of my heart

I will Be"H go back to the shul where i usually do not daven but in that shul I cried ahovei hashen sin-u raah

may we all be zoche to be elevated to higher levels of yiras shamayim shemiras einayim and and...simcha!!!!!

humble and happy
signing out
bardichev
I will back at Rabbeinu Taam