In the name of the Anshei Knesses HaGedola, just like we sanctified all Roshei Chodoshim for all time, we hereby proclaim that EVERY Erev-Shabbos for all time be sanctified with an AUTOMATIC "A Gutten Shabbos Koidesh" from the entire Oilam to our dear chaver, the Heilige Rabbeinu Reb Bardichever, Shlita.
Rabbeinu Reb B, we will all do our utmost to remember to vinch you and yours a Gutten Shabbos in virtual person, but should the vicissitudes of life and Erev-Shabbos Prep forestall our good intentions, please accept our being Yotzei by the tikkun of the Anshe Knesses HaGedola.
Meanwhile, the United States Senate Juice-diciary Committee and the Louse of Representatives Sub Sub Committee on Over-aged Drinking will be issuing a memorandumb applauding you for the accomplishment of reaching 100 pages in your journal. It will be binded to a plaque, and buried in a time capsule, to be opened when you reach 1000 pages, or by Rosh Hashannah, whichever comes first.
And now, we salute you by lifting up our bottles of woodford and twirling them around our heads, long may they wave.
Mazal Tov on all inyannim,
Steve