Hello, all.

Unstructured computer use is my struggle and it can lead to urges and falls. I came home late last night and, instead of winding down in front of my computer, I davened maariv and learned. That is a big deal for me.

Day Count: 14 Days
Cumulative Count: 1647 Days

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 21 May 2025 12:50:

As someone who struggled with unstructured and [supposed to be] structured computer use for years, I urge you to make a even bigger deal about your achievement. The twisted "magnetism" of the computer is incredibly hard to fight, especially when tired.
KOMT!

alex94 wrote on 21 May 2025 14:53:

Thanks, @alex94.

Friends,
Please understand that the work that I have done to slowly become less reliant on computer/Internet use as a way to wind down or spend free time has not happened in the last 15 days. The discovery, reflection, brainstorming, and work has happened over the last 5 years, but more specifically in the last 6 months. Never think that because you had a 'fall' you must not have made any progress.

Day Count: 15 Days
Cumulative Count: 1648 Days

Hello, everyone. I wish you all a good Shabbos.

Day Count: 16 Days
Cumulative Count: 1649 Days

Good morning, all.

I had several urges over the long weekend. Reached out to some accountability partners and continued to overcome the struggle. Last night, however, I was not able to sleep and, very late last night, I had an 'M' fall. I'm disappointed in myself, but even more proud of myself for saying no to 'P'. Prayers to Hashem that I--and all of us--should have the strength to overcome the struggle today

Day Count: 1 Day
No 'P' Count: 20 Days
Cumulative Count: 1652 Days

Good morning, all.

I had a fall yesterday. A post-fall fall. An aftershocks fall, if you will.

I have my guard back up and I am looking forward to 20 days and beyond. 

Day Count: 1 Day
Cumulative Count: 1652 Days

Good morning, all.

I had an 'M' fall last night. Meh.

No despair allowed and bl"n I will keep reaching out to my accountability chaverim and posting here to keep accountability.

Day Count: 1 Day
No 'P' Count: 2 Days
Cumulative Count: 1652 Days

Good morning, all.

Meh. Had another 'M' fall yesterday. On the bright side, however, there was no 'P'. 

Over the last year or so, I started doing something which is crude, but also helpful. When I see something/someone that causes me הרהורים, I say the הרהור out loud (obviously, to myself only, but still out loud). For example, "I'd like to..." Crude/ניבול פה for obvious reasons. Helpful because I get the הרהור out of my head and can move on right away.

Last night, my young son woke me up in the middle of the night and I helped him back to bed. When I was trying to go back to sleep, I thought of something and started saying, "I'd like to," but I stopped myself and changed it to, "I'd like to bring נחת רוח to the רבונו של עולם."

Wishing everyone a good Shabbos and a good yontif.

Day Count: 1 Day
No 'P' Count: 3 Days
Cumulative Count: 1652 Days