My friend, I'm sorry for the slipping, really not geshmak
I hope you are in a place where you can hear what I write here
We are not Hashem's accountants. Ever. Of course, mitzvois bring zechusim, and aveirois take them away, there's a din and cheshbon for every action, but what exactly that is, only He knows.
When we mess up, I believe it totally wrong to say that "this bad thing happened to me because I messed up". Yes, if we don't do teshuva there will be consequences, but what they will be, what they will look like, unless you have Ruach HaKoidesh, how can you know?
And the same is true for zechusim.
Of course, every time we daven, every time we do good things, we increase our zechusim we will be rewarded, but what, where and how, that only He knows. It is wrong to 'make deals' with Hashem, because we know nothing of what we need and what is really good for us. Let alone knowing what we truly deserve.
So, my dear friend, your zechusim are wonderful, your teffilois are very powerful. But don't make the mistake of thinking that you know what the result will be
We also have to know, Hashem gives us ko'ach, He even saves us from ourselves, but how much? Were you expecting Hashem to take away your bechira?
