hey wassup?
i am new to this forum. this is not my first quest to 90 but it is my first time making a forum out of it and publisizing it. i dont really know what to say though. today is my 4th day. i just got back to school from winter break. during break when i was mostly by myself i had a lot of falls (but i did manage to push them off for like 5 10 min at a time) but then the last half week, i found a spiritual high. i started learning a specific sefer and ever since i have been stronger. but once i started school i still find that it is harder being around my friends (i dont know why though). but i am keeping myself realllllllly busy and with hashems help i will make it to 90 days

Amazing.

Wish I had found this website at 15 and had the drive to change.

Have you familiarised yourself with other parts of the website? Are you reading the manuals and receiving daily chizuk emails? What else are you doing to cure yourself?

Hey Mnman,

Welcome to the world of posting! I have found it enormously helpful, and I'm sure you will! Post at will, post what you're thinking, what you're struggling with, just post! Throw it out here, we will all help you shoulder it!!! I wish you tons of Hatzlacha and I am totally in awe of you that at the age of 15 you are already displaying such Yosef hatzadik tendencies!!

KUTGW!!!!
Haba

Wow, that's like 3 new teens in 3 days, but I think you're the youngest.

You're in the right place.

If only I could go back to 15.....

Welcome welcome. Oh how lucky you are to start at such a young age. And how SPECIAL you are to realize that you need to work on this.

Check out the site when you have time. Its a great place. And there are so many holy brothers that are here for you whenever you need.

Hatzlacha and hoping the best for you.

Dear mnman,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

4 days is a great start. Keep up the good work! Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

You are truly lucky to have found us at such a young age. This addiction can destroy your life - and your wife's too, one day, chas veshalom, if not dealt with properly now.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

thank you everyone!! when i started this a couple days ago, i thought maybe at most one person would post on this, the amount that i got really helps!!
     today is day 6!! it is exciting! i think i said this already, but this is not my first attemp at 90 days, i have made many attemps the most i ever got to was 20 days. i can tell that this one will go far because i am doing an amazing job so far and with the help of hashem i will make it to 90 days.
    i just got back from the gym. my rebbi told me that one of the physical things a person can do to help himself is work out cus it uses this sexual energy for something else and i am draiiiiined of energy! even if i want to mast... i cant! i can barley move my arms!!!.
   the gemorah tells us someone who davens for there friend, he is answered and then his friend is answered, so if any1 can tell me your hebrew name just reply and tell me your name. my name is--- [**removed**]
   just a word about overcoming my yetzer....latley when i want to just look at someone on the street or anywhere and think bad thaougts, i force myself to look away and think about something else  (when i dont know what to think of- cus its hard to come up with a random thought- i just take a letter of the aleph bais or think of a letter in the torah and just visualize it in my head and i say (if its an aleph) aleph over and over again in my mind
 well good shabbas!!! since this was like my second post....tell me how it was!!!!
thank you!

Great post, mnman!

Have you started reading the "Attitude handbook" yet?

Seems like your really doing good AN!!! Keep it up. Were all here for you!!!

And i will iyh have you in mind!!!

you forgot to include your names!
i had some trouble gaurding my eyes over shabbas i was looking at girls. we were at someones house shabbas night and there were boys and girls from 14-20 and they looked soooo good. thank G-d i had enough strength to close my eyes for a couple min at a time.
i had a dream shabbas night (thank G-d it wasnt a wet dream) of all the girls i used to talk to (i stopped talked for the most part)
and i this sounds like im depressed, im not! im focusing on the fact that i did have a lot of strength and controlled myself for at least 3 min.....my rebbi told me that this issue is not a month project, it is at least half a year and i have to take baby steps, and i see that closing my eyes for 3 min is a good baby step!

Hey Mnman

You don't sound like a depressed guy, you sound like a guy who's trying to work on himself, hat off to you! A simpler trick than being at someone's house filled with 14-20 yr olds and then not looking for 3 mins at a time, would be not going to a house filled with 14-20 yr olds mingling, which will just make it really difficult (unless you had no choice)

GOOD LUCK!!!

i dont know what to say!!! this rebbe is amazing!
i just met with a rebbe who is famous for giving brachos. i told him i am having trouble with shichvas zera levatalah. as soon as i told him he like got scared and he started telling me stuff about myself that i never told him! omg he is amazing! you have nooooo clue. just talking to him uplifted me!!! he told me that i have to work my best on when i start to get a bad thought i have to get rid of it. he said that it is helpfull that when it comes to my mind i should picture in my mind the name of hashem- aleph daled nun yud (the one that meens my master) he also told me that i have to picture myself as if i have never ever masturbated before cus when i feel bad about it i start to think about it and next thing i know, i already slipped. the only time to think about it is when you are already doing teshuvah.

Wow that sounds like a really good idea. Have you tried it?? Is it working?

Hello, and welcome aboard. Your visionary behavior is truly remarkable. If I had seen the value in avoiding “the sins of my youth” as a youth, my life might have gone on a different “bent” – who knows.

Your earnestness in this area is obvious, and I commend you. You probably also realize there are many valuable paths to pursue in growing in your Yiddishkeit. As you undertake the journey on this forum, you might want to reflect occasionally on whether you’re also putting the optimal time into other areas of growth appropriate to you. Chessed, Talmud torah, parnassa, and yes as your Rav said exercise etc. A balanced initiative is likely to be the most long-lasting and successful formula.


One more word, if I may: Privacy. Your online identity is worth guarding carefully. Not just the boosha of being ‘found’ here, but the general risks of internet safety. Every word on this forum can be ‘googled’ (even deleted posts).  I hate sounding paranoid, but I’m not sure about putting my full Hebrew name ANYWHERE on the web, much less here. The same goes for last name, city, etc. Take a look to see if there’s anything you want to edit out. (PMs are probably safe.