Day 73. 

Spoke to the master yesterday about the streak (73 amazing days) and he pointed out the truth. I shouldn't be thinking of it as a streak but rather as a person who has cleaned himself up and is now a regular person who approaches marriage and his wife as a normal, loving husband. 
BH things are hugely improved in the marriage situation. 
I would say that cleaning my brain up and looking at my wife as a human and a person who I have been tasked to love, has been a tremendous mindset change and one that I am BH getting so much better at. 
The bedroom is a place of calmness, tranquility, and gentleness. It is completely different than 3 months ago when I was schlepping my wife to the bedroom to do things to her. Now it's different. It's quiet time, it's quality time, it's 'happy with each other' time. It's a place where we take things slow. 

I will also point out that the bedroom was not my only marriage issue and has required alot of other work. Patience, understanding and more. This has been accomplished with the gentle help of HHM who has given huge amounts of him time to be there for us, guide us, and help us. I honestly don't understand how he has time for all the people that need him. 
BH we are in a great place and although there is still much more work to be done, things are moving in an upwards trajectory. 
Hashem has guided me to this wonderful resource called GYE and I cannot thank Him enough. 
לולא GYE,  אז אבדתי בעניי

I urge all of the strugglers out there to reach out to the amazing people here and use them to grow in your life. 
I am so grateful
ועמך כולם צדיקים

I have mentioned that the chovos halevavos says that someone who helps others do teshuva and grow in their yiddishkeit, is on a higher level even than the malachim. 
ועמך כולם גבוהים ממלאכים

Onto day 75. 
Feeling good about the new me, who doesn't need any 'stimulants' to get through the day. 
Believe me, there's been plenty of opportunities to get a 'release'
3 months ago, I would have a 12 hour streak!! 

But not anymore. It's not a solution. It's a drug fix. And of the worst mental kind. 

BH for GYE. 

Thank you Yosef for the update. Your meteoric growth makes the heart sing and gives hope to so many people that are struggling. So many people came on to these forums because they have problems with their שמירת העניים and addition problems with their marriage. When they finally begin working on their eyes, they find that for some reason there marriage improves bit by bit. This obviously is not always the case, but I'd venture to say that the vast majority of marriage problems can be made better (not necessarily cured) somewhat by working on these ענינים. Kudos to you for being a living example of this! KOMT!!!!!!!

The truckin don't be stoppin

Life doesn't stop. 
Spent shabbos in the beautiful Lakewood Ir Hakodesh. 
Managed to sleep, eat, daven and learn. BH in 25 hours, there's enough time to accomplish all that and more!
78 days and it's time to celebrate, the only way I know how! With a FAT shawarma. 
Tomorrow I'll go out to eat with my son. 
BH I am blessed. 
For many reasons. 
But at the top of them is for Hashem guiding me to GYE
I would be lost without you. 
Very very lost. 

בן שמונים לגבורה

Today makers the 80th day since i 'accidentally' found this site and the warm and loving people on it.

I came here as a broken shell of a human being.

I had completely lost hope of ever cleaning myself up. I was deep deep in the shmutz. My life was completely ruined. My marriage was falling apart and there was no hope.

But not now.

BH the marriage is better than ever. Life is better than ever. So many changes have happened and I have so much to look forward to. I am in the process of preparing for day 90. Not because of the number 90 per se. But because of the idea that it represents. Someone who was down in the deepest pits of hell, and I have climbed out. On my 90th day, BN I will post my story and what worked for me. As I've said many times, it was the people who reached out to me, who welcomed me, who gave me an ear to kvetch to and a shoulder to cry on. They are the true heroes.

May Hashem give you all bracha and Hatzlacha in your lives.

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