long time no post  . Things are still solid here. Just for the sake of remembering, today is day 11 (or is it two day 1's  :o ) my past couple days have gone well, though i slipped a little a couple days ago. Father's day has gone well thus far, trying to keep the day easy for my dad and hopefully we'll keep it going through the rest of the day.

I realized that one reason that i tend to fall is just because i try and turn on "cruise control" after a couple days, without realizing that no such thing exists. so now, in an attempt to combat that mindset, i've decided to do a chesbon hanefesh every 10 days (or more frequently if i deem it necessary). so here are my thoughts on the past 10 days:

-at least while out and about, i think i'm making progress with shemiras einayim. i'm working on not taking second looks and i've even surprised myself by resisting first looks. a great improvement over when i first came to GUE
- luckily, Hashem has blessed me with few true tests, making the battle that much easier, though i know i certainly need to be on guard given the time of year (oh those "guard" puns never get old)
-i just need to keep focused so i can try and make it to midnight of today, because thats all i can really worry about: today. I can make plans for tomorrow, but who knows, things may change. so just worry about today.
-i al
so just wanted to point out that its been odd not being able to chat with Chazak Amenu and its been weird without his posts on the forum, but i guess i'll have to make due.

thats all for now. gotta go help with the fathers day dinner. hatzlocha everyone!

Day 1 as always.

so glad to hear it mate!!

your an inspiration...stay off cruise control, and keep a start head, you control your actions!!

theres a chosidic idea (i think), found in sefer bilvavi mishcan evner chelek gimmel, that to get out of cruise control to one act of "holding back" or against your gof, animal instinct a day to rgain contrl, rav kellerman taks about it, it really helps you with self control and it very good for middos building etc, for example at the enbd of my meal i always leave a bit of food or i wait a bit beforee i eat, or say i limit myself to 30 min less tv or saty uop 5 mins later... u get th idea!!

keeo on trucking!!!

so i've been keepin up with the forums but haven't been posting as much. things are still solid here, though i could do a bit more learning during the day (and night). i realized that this is my most recent long streak (probably since my 33 days) and it feels good. and this time, i feel like i am more experienced. by no means am I a completely changed man. by no means am i saying that "this time feels different". but i feel like with the extra time spent with GUE, i'm better prepared for heading into a longer streak. eh, maybe this is just the late-night ramblings of a teenager, though i hope not.

hope everyone's doing well.

Day 1 as always

Hey Shlomo,

Glad to hear that you are still holding on. Keep strong...

Good shabbos.

Hey everyone! Just wanted to stop by. I've managed to do pretty well over the past couple of days and happy that i made it through a long stretch of time unscathed when i didn't really have "structured" days (i.e. no work or school). So as i enter this week and start working, hopefully i'll be able to keep a positive attitude and keep on the lookout for signs if things are going bad. Todays Day 18, chai, so maybe now i get to feel whats it's like to live life!

Day 1 as always

Shlomo, I think they once referred to your tatty, Dovid:
"Dovid Melech Yisroel, CHAI V'KAYOM."

18 and keep going.

(Like father, like son, I suppose.)

Good job.

Glad to hear it - keep on rocking!

Day 20. Alright, its that time again. To be honest, i feel like little has changed over the past 10 days. I've just been trying to focus on staying positive, not taking second looks (or even first looks), and just when using the internet, trying to anticipate where challenges may lie online. summer's gone well so far, especially with shemiras einayim, and i hope the same is true for everyone else!

Day 1 as always

It's not a matter of what changes. It's the fact that you've lived free. Enjoy the continued sensation of freedom, enjoy the feeling of accomplishment!

the count returns to 0. and as i move on, i would just like to share some thoughts.

as with many times before, this time dealt with trying to take the first look, thinking it would lead nowhere. however, time and again i have seen that the first look is akin to lighting a fuse. this fuse leads to a cannon of many things, including (but not limited to): feelings of dejection, laziness, regret, etc. and its target is the one who lit the fuse. now, i just have to learn to not light that fuse...

for all of my time on GUE, i have looked at the journey to 90 days as an ends. once a person got there, he was virtually free. the old saying of "one day at a time" was the means to get to the ends. after thinking about this, i've realized that the 90 days is also just a means. getting to 90 days should be a journey that brings you closer to Hashem, spiritual cleanliness and living life. if you were to just stop trying after 90 days, you would lose progress in trying to get to these goals. and although its impossible to attain each of these goals perfectly, the point is not to reach them, but to strive for them. i remember listening to a shiur that i found on GUE, which said that being intimate with one's wife should not be looked at as a goal or a prize, but rather something that further bonds husband and wife. for me, now i just have to start loo
king at each day towards 90 as a bond between Hashem and I, and find literally infinite satisfaction and pleasure in the fact that i am getting closer with my Creator.

thanks for readin' this kid's ramblings. i hope everyone is doing well.

day one as always.

BH things went well today. had a long day babysitting and returned home with none of my siblings home for a few solid hours but managed to control myself, which i'm very proud of. its weird having to think that way, but hey, its the truth. i'll have an even longer day of working tomorrow but this is money for israel so i'm just happy to be able to work. i hope all is well with everyone else.

day 1 as always

Your ramblings are always worth listening to.

And one day at a time is life. Every day, in every way - we're just aplying it specifically to this issue.

its been a rough couple of days. it feels like the reason for the falls have been because i havent been posting that much lately, but also because i haven't been chatting with anyone (used to be with Chazak Amenu often) and i've just become lazy, which is a sad reality. so i know that i need to start trying to connect more, both on and off of the forum, and just need to get out of this summer slump of laziness. but i guess the hard part is actually following through. for me, it seems like i've generally known what i need to do but execution is another story...

Day 1 as always.

There's intellectual knowledge, and actually knowing that you need this. It's a strong drive that we're facing. If you're not sure whether you want to avoid it, there's not really much of a chance - as soon as you start wavering, the yetzer hora will seize the day.

You need to remind yourself just how important it is to you to avoid this problem.

BH things are good here. one thing i've been working on is just trying to keep my mind active. that means not just going on the computer just for the hell of it. not just doing nothing for even a small period of time. basically, i'm trying to contemplate the concept that one's mind cant just be a vacuum (even if you want it to be), so why not fill it with something useful.

Day 1 as always.