Have a great Pesach Shlomo!

have a kosher pesach, free of all the kinds of chametz!

Have a fantastic pesach - the test of true growth is when the original fire isn't flaring up anymore, and we can keep it hot and steady, and move forward and upward!

Keep it up, and keep us posted!

chag sameach everyone.

things here are good with me. i was feeling a little shaky this afternoon but when i updated my 90 chart and saw that i made it to level 2, that was certainly a nice energy booster and its a nice way to start off chol hamoed.

things were a little crazy at my house for the seders. the first night, we had 24 people at our seder, which was a beautiful thing, but it wasnt much of a seder. i was left trying to do a lot of it on my own. the second seder went well with just my family (all of my siblings were home, including the ones from college) and although we didnt do all of it together, it was still a nice atmosphere. the days themselves were very slow and i had to daven alone (though i'm used to it) because my mom wanted me to be home for the seders. the afternoons were a little too quiet but i pulled through.

now, as we begin the omer, i hope everyone has a chag sameach and a inspirational omer period.

day 8: feeling good especially with the chag.

Glad to hear that you're doing well! Remember, the sefiras haomer is the time when we build ourselves up, put in the effort to get ourselves where we need to be to receive the torah!

well, back again to report no news . other than that, things with me are alright.

i've been doing some thinking over the past week or so and i've made two realizations, one about myself and one about this struggle.
-i've come to the realization that i am more of an emotional person than i thought i was. realistically, i feel like i am someone that needs somewhat of an emotional connection with people in my life. i realized that while i do have very close friends, i'm not sure that i have anyone (besides Hashem) that i feel truly knows me and that i am actually best friends with. maybe this is not the right place to bring it up, but i figured it was worth mentioning. i don't know how much, if at all, this ties in with my struggles with shemiras einayim (which i cautiously put closer to the secular-teenager aspect of my upbringing).  hmm......

and the other realization is somewhat related to a concept that i first learned about while studying Tanya. i believe the term is hishtalshelus (meaning contractions or refinement) that i'm thinking of....but what i realized that like the Or Ein Sof and G-dliness, the internet is an extremely powerful source when taken in its raw form. just as with G-dliness, the internet can only be used successfully and safely when it goes through a series of contractions, in the form of internet filters. just some food for thought....

Hi I don't know much about you but there is a book out there to help very sensitive people deal with the world. I forget the title but will check later.

I myself always thought I was very very sensitive but I realized that I also have a hard time trusting people and taking chances in relationships. I also mind read too much, I think people are all focused on me, talking about me, looking at me, judging me etc. In time I have learnt that much of that is not really true.

whoa. i didnt realize i havent posted here in so long.

BH, things here are still keeping up. at this point, i i've set my longest streak while on GUE, which i'm very happy with. in a very recent message to silentbattle, i mentioned that i havent really been plagued with many urges during these 21 days and i feel like my y"h just trying to fly under the radar. i'm making sure the fences i have set up are impenetrable and hopefully they are.

hope all is well with everyone else. and thanks for sticking with me this far .

day 21: with Hashem's help, this 90 day challenge is becoming reality.

Woohoo! I get press coverage!!  ;D

Seriously, though - as we get into the swing of things, there are certainly easier stages, times when we don't feel as tempted. We need to use those times to get some more distance, and continue to grow. The more distance we get, the more clarity we can get on what we need to do, how important it is, and how good we should feel at our victories thus far!

Good Job Shlomo! 21 days also known as three weeks!

Hey everyone.

all's well with me. i had a slip on sunday, but otherwise things are going well. i'm on day 29, still expanding my largest streak, so i feel blessed that Hashem has granted me success thus far, and i only pray (and work so that) it continues.

Starting mid may, i know there's a huge challenge waiting for me. Every year, the senior class at my school goes on an "exploration" where they explore a possible career, though many people simply use it as a time to relax and focus on something more fun (but also somewhat serious), the boat i find myself in. Essentially, from mid-may until we graduate in mid-june, we have to complete an activity for 80 hours, the activity for me is beatboxing. most of the work i do will be at home (practicing routines, learning new sounds and beats)
but my only problem is that i'll be home alone. And we have a family computer with no filter, which has proved a bad mix in the past. without explaining my situation with my parents, it seems near impossible to get a filter on the computer, as its simply something that has never been a problem with my family as a whole. (and also just living in a rather secular household, coming at them from a religious standpoint might seem self-righteous or confrontational).
i've come up with a few options and solutions to this problem and i was just looking for some feedback:
1) make a neder that the computer will be completely off limits
        - to make this possible, i would need access to youtube on my computer just to be able to look at beatbox videos and tutorials online. when i pitched this idea to the filter gabbai, he said it would be be
st to get some accountability software. my only issue would be finding a partner....
2) use this computer just for youtube videos (i've never had a problem with youtube in regards to shemiras einayim, though it is obviously a potential pitfall)

from my perspective, only option 1 makes sense and would work, but i would just need an accountability partner.

well, i'll work to sort things out before the process begins.

hope all is well with everyone.

day 29: almost 1/3 of the way there and trudging my way through.

If you need me to be available to talk to everyday or so i would not mind being your accountability (yay i spelled it right!) partner. we could talk almost anytime in the morning if it is for a short while and sometimes at night.

for the first time in over a month, i return with bad news. i just fell. i really dont want to delve in further, as i've learned here that nothing is as poisonous and dangerous as a mind bogged down in sadness.

however, (and i know that i need to work hard to carry on the inspiration of the first few days) i still maintain that the time for serious action is now. so if this helps other people, that is amazing, but at least in my situation, my greatest advantage is to write these strategies out. many of these are things that i already do, but i still think it's useful to have them condensed into one place.

1) Say daily portion of tehillim and study 1 Halachah of Mishnah when i get home from school
2) Do at least 15 minutes of Hisbodedus once a week.
3) Update this thread at least once every 3 days
4) (specific to this fall) do not allow internet use on my ipod. period.
5) To the largest extent possible, keep my door open while i'm in my room.

i'm sure that there are things to add to this list and it is certainly subject to change. now that the worst has happened, its time to take little steps and maintain a routine to try to get up to 90, one day at a time.

Well done - and I like your approach. While it is important to not get bogged down, we need to learn from our falls. And you're doing that - great job!

it looks like it has been that kind of week for teens of GYE  :-[ but we are a resilient group of teens as well! and we can manage anything! Come on Shlomo you can do this! fix your Ipod problem and next time you will get even further! we will arrange a chat as soon as possible and maybe that will help us both? You seem to learn and grow from every fall so in fact a "fall" should really be called a "grow"! hope you are doing alright we will arrange a chat soon. also try the Falling thread that could probably help if you feel like you have to fall. keep up the good work! you will get even further the next time all the way to the big 90 so get up on your feet and try again! "fall 8 times get up 9!" have a great rest of day!