Shavuah Tov everyone!
like you said SB, i used this shabbos to really think about my situation. and i found a couple things to be extremely useful.
first, i've noticed something about when i study mishnah. because its one of the first original texts of the torah shebaal peh that i've studied, i've noticed that when studying, it requires concentration and attention to detail that hasn't been necessary when reading a commentary on the Tanya or an article about the weekly parsha. and despite how mentally taxing it is to study, it is one of the most (if not the most) rewarding text that i have studied because i get so much out of it. from the simple learning techniques that i have used, i have realized (and seen in the past) that the effort put forth into learning something or struggling for something is greatly exceeded by what is given back. i think each of us has our own story to tell at least in terms of shemiras einayim when it comes to this topic.
i also just wanted to share a little section from the book Understanding the Tanya written R. Adin Steinsaltz that reads:
the first time a person commits a sin, he trembles to the depths of his being. But as he repeats his behavior, the offense appears less grave, and the shock grows less dire. The sense that he is harming himself, polluting and blemishing his soul, loses its power.
the quote reminded me of an idea that i heard in a shiur once by Rabbi Immanuel Shochet. the idea is that the first time we do something that is against our beliefs (the act given was smoking), we are sure that lightning will strike us dead. but when lightning doesn't strike, we feel as if you've gotten away with doing the act. We do feel remorse but if the simple act didnt scare us enough, typically it is only a matter of time before we repeat the act. The second time your do the act, we are also sure that lighting will strike, but again, when lightning doesnt strike, we feel we've gotten away with the act. once we've done the act for a third time, we're on the all-too-slippery slope of trying to break the new-found habit with little success.
after thinking about this concept, i've reached some conclusions. Now we've reached the point where enough is enough and we've decided to kick the habit and put all of our energy into doing so, and we are on the road to get back to that original purity and mindset (or as close as possible to it). Instead of just trudging down the long road alone, the greatest resource we have is each other and Hashem, and we've (figuratively and literally) jumped on the GUE bandwagon which carries us down this road as a community. the bandwagon/vehicle of GUE not only allows you to (hopefully) travel down the road faster, but it also allows you to connect and relate to others around you facing this problem. this is the benefit and amazing advantage of GUE and i thank Hashem literally every day for exposing me to this fantastic and holy site and group of people.
for those of you who read through this marathon of a post (and for stickin' with me throughout my journey thus far), i say todah rabah.
So now, i say Shavuah Tov and Have a great Rosh Chodesh Adar!!
to this 
NOW!!!! 