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Holy In Jerusalem
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TOPIC: Holy In Jerusalem 17670 Views

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 27 Nov 2024 21:36 #425958

I would like to try something I haven't really tried in the past. In the past after a fall(s) I looked at the next day as a new day, so I may have been determined to restart but I looked at it as a restart.

I know that in yiddishkeit this is wrong, but I felt that way and couldn't help it.

Today, post my falls, it hit me. Why does todays fall -which may have played out over a few hours- take away from the last 20 days that I was clean. Yes I fell today, but yesterday and the 19 days before, I won.

As I am writing this I am second doubting myself if I even feel the way I wrote, but I already wrote this and I will hit post before I can back down.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 27 Nov 2024 22:34 #425964

  • vehkam
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 27 Nov 2024 21:31:
You fall down (twice), you get back up.

Seemingly we sometimes have to fall twice to get back up.

To the "Eyes" out there looking after me, I am sorry I let you down, though this time I am more confident to make it through the night, bez''h.

@yiftach do you really not take no for an answer? What can I get you?

The “eyes” out there are not there to frown at you when you fall. They are there to to help you shake off the dust and pull yourself back up (and give you a hug). 
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 27 Nov 2024 23:24 #425966

  • chaimoigen
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 27 Nov 2024 21:31:
You fall down (twice), you get back up.

Seemingly we sometimes have to fall twice to get back up.

To the "Eyes" out there looking after me, I am sorry I let you down, though this time I am more confident to make it through the night, bez''h.

@yiftach do you really not take no for an answer? What can I get you?

I’ll take a lamb Schwarma, please. 

I know you will be ok, my friend. You’ve tasted living, and it tastes good. Better than schwarma… tomorrow is a good day. 
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 28 Nov 2024 00:28 #425973

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chaimoigen wrote on 27 Nov 2024 23:24:

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 27 Nov 2024 21:31:
You fall down (twice), you get back up.

Seemingly we sometimes have to fall twice to get back up.

To the "Eyes" out there looking after me, I am sorry I let you down, though this time I am more confident to make it through the night, bez''h.

@yiftach do you really not take no for an answer? What can I get you?

I’ll take a lamb Schwarma, please. 

I know you will be ok, my friend. You’ve tasted living, and it tastes good. Better than schwarma… tomorrow is a good day. 

I hope it's still hot when it gets to you....
Attachments:
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face
Last Edit: 28 Nov 2024 00:32 by redfaced.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 29 Nov 2024 14:05 #426139

Baruch Hashem Thursday and Friday were nice and Clean!

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 00:40 #426191

Just had a fall to porn and masturbation. It started with filter poking for hours tonight, and not wanting to end the night with nothing I figured out how to get my filter off and...
Right now it's back on.
TBH Life was a bit unproductive recently. That doesn't justify my acts but it explains it.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 19:29 #426240

I spent so much time filter poking and getting no where. I am frustrated. I have a headache for being on the screen so long. What do I do, life's rough when your not having fun.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 19:49 #426241

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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 01 Dec 2024 19:29:
I spent so much time filter poking and getting no where. I am frustrated. I have a headache for being on the screen so long. What do I do, life's rough when your not having fun.

I'm sorry for your frustration Brother.

Perhaps you answered your own question and you need to have some fun. 

What is geshmak for you that doesn't involve a screen?

Kol Tov
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 19:50 #426242

Perhaps you answered your own question and you need to have some fun. 

What is geshmak for you that doesn't involve a screen?

Pornography / Feeding my lust

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 19:58 #426243

  • BenHashemBH
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 01 Dec 2024 19:50:


Perhaps you answered your own question and you need to have some fun. 

What is geshmak for you that doesn't involve a screen?

Pornography / Feeding my lust

How do you normally feel after having fun?
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 23:28 #426249

BenHashemBH wrote on 01 Dec 2024 19:58:

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 01 Dec 2024 19:50:


Perhaps you answered your own question and you need to have some fun. 

What is geshmak for you that doesn't involve a screen?

Pornography / Feeding my lust

How do you normally feel after having fun?

That's a good question. The problem is we don't always want to think about the answer when our urges are hovering over our brains.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 23:39 #426250

To sum up the last 30 hours: a lot of wasted time, a couple of falls, and a couple of stupid things done.

No I do not feel good now, I feel horrible. I don't want my life to look like this moving forward. I want a happy productive life. The way I am living it now, it's unproductive and depressing. No I am not depressed but you get the point.

Plan of action you ask, it's a good question. I had a plan but it fell through because I was laid back about it. A new plan is pending and I hope with gods help it will work out.

What will I my report be tomorrow night? I can't know, but what I can say is, if I get past the urges to filter poke and I do something productive, I should be good. So I hope that happens.

Ein Hadavar Tuluy Eli Bi!

Have a wonderful night,
Signing off, SSSL, from a dark soul in the Holy Land.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 01 Dec 2024 23:53 #426251

  • amevakesh
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 01 Dec 2024 23:39:
To sum up the last 30 hours: a lot of wasted time, a couple of falls, and a couple of stupid things done.

No I do not feel good now, I feel horrible. I don't want my life to look like this moving forward. I want a happy productive life. The way I am living it now, it's unproductive and depressing. No I am not depressed but you get the point.

Plan of action you ask, it's a good question. I had a plan but it fell through because I was laid back about it. A new plan is pending and I hope with gods help it will work out.

What will I my report be tomorrow night? I can't know, but what I can say is, if I get past the urges to filter poke and I do something productive, I should be good. So I hope that happens.

Ein Hadavar Tuluy Eli Bi!

Have a wonderful night,
Signing off, SSSL, from a trying, fighting, bloodied and bruised, but not giving up, and hopeful dark soul in the Holy Land.
Feel free to email me at amevakesh23@gmail.com
Last Edit: 01 Dec 2024 23:53 by amevakesh.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 02 Dec 2024 00:01 #426252

amevakesh wrote on 01 Dec 2024 23:53:

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 01 Dec 2024 23:39:
To sum up the last 30 hours: a lot of wasted time, a couple of falls, and a couple of stupid things done.

No I do not feel good now, I feel horrible. I don't want my life to look like this moving forward. I want a happy productive life. The way I am living it now, it's unproductive and depressing. No I am not depressed but you get the point.

Plan of action you ask, it's a good question. I had a plan but it fell through because I was laid back about it. A new plan is pending and I hope with gods help it will work out.

What will I my report be tomorrow night? I can't know, but what I can say is, if I get past the urges to filter poke and I do something productive, I should be good. So I hope that happens.

Ein Hadavar Tuluy Eli Bi!

Have a wonderful night,
Signing off, SSSL, from a trying, fighting, bloodied and bruised, but not giving up, and hopeful dark soul in the Holy Land.


Your the best! You put a big smile on my face, ear to ear.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 02 Dec 2024 20:40 #426317

  • DeletedUser845
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Did you ever have a webchever? that helps tremendously with filter poking. Because you know that someone will see everything. 
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