Day 7: another strong clean day. Hoping for another clean day 

Day 8: we good, another day. Trying to not thing about the future and the grind ahead

Day 9: honestly today felt some cravings. Didn’t materialize in anything so that was good. Was in the airport the whole day so that could’ve generated those feeling. Trying to remain strong for the coming day. Ik I want this but all in all it’s still hard.

Day 10: strong clean

Day 11: had a clean day but had some fantasies and stuff. Pushed it out of my head and just moved on, idk how to really feel about that kind of stuff my priority is limiting inappropriate content from screens and the internet. As bad as fantasies may be they feel more natural and feel less improper than porn. Not justifying or accepting them just stating how I feel. Still clean day!

You're doing AMAZING. Don't let the fantasies detract from your success. It's only the YH sputtering and throwing whatever's left in his arsenal to try to make you feel down about yourself. You're a hero for fighting this battle, and don't let him tell you otherwise. By the way, over time, the fantasies decrease, both in severity and in frequency. Rock on buddy! You got this! KOMT!!!

Day 12: missed the count. Had a clean day

Day 13: had a great day. Just felt pure. Listened to a shiur on kedusha for added motivation. Pretty crazy tomorrow is 2 weeks. Still not thinking long term, gotta take it day by day. 

Day 14: 2 weeks!!! Bh another strong day 

JARES90 wrote on 02 Jul 2024 02:30:

Amazing! Keep rocking!!

Day 15: good, trying to stay focused. 

Day 16: hardest day so far, was feeling urges the whole day but kept pushing it off and distracting myself. I thought I was  it the clear but later tn I came downstairs and the computer was unlocked I looked a little bit (bad) but didn’t c much. After a while I got my wit and just shut it off. So i can’t get back on. Usually I’d be like the damage is done but I just can’t afford to have this mindset rn. Minor setback in the grand scheme of things. I slipped got keep going for now I’m leaving this day blank. If I can make it clean to shabbos that’s my teshuva and I’m keeping the count

Just have to remind myself from time to time, when the feelings of the last fall are fleeting. ITS NOT WORTH IT

Day 17+18: really hard days, mostly tn. Still hanging on 

So sick right now of the grind. To be honest. Trying to stay positive and limit potential pitfalls but sometimes it just feels so overwhelming. Sometimes i feel so clean and strong and then just as I establish a groove this thing comes back with a vengeance.