Right now I’m 51 days clean, today I had a slip and starting looking at something inappropriate I caught myself and stopped but I feel the damage has been done. This has happened repeatedly where I build a big streak than slip. How to I push forward and maintain my path to 90 days clean? Any advice is welcomed thank you!

I personally feel that a "slip" is almost something to be proud of! The YH attacked you; you took the hit but then fought it off and got back to your life. That was a battle that you won, not lost. I am not sure if there is a specific definition of a "slip", but do not beat yourself up over this. It happened, you knew it was wrong and you corrected yourself... That is a win in my book!

Keep going, take the emphasis off of the numbers for a few days (especially when it gets to heavy). what's most important is your fighting to be clean. Don't quit because your opponent scored a point on you finish the fight.

Thank you! Am trying but it’s hard. With hashems help I’ll get to 90

I feel you that when i usually slip up. Some mifarshim say that yosef went to the house to sin (and even had the semen come out of his fingernails ) but stopped himself at the last second this is a lesson for me 

"semen coming out of fingernails"
Thanks for that horrifying mental image of the day. 

Ya exactly

Maybe post a little bit about your history (non identifying) so the guys can respond..

I first started looking at porn in the middle of high school. And watched regularly till I went to Israel where I made a conscious effort to stop. I spent a couple years in Israel, in yeshiva, being away from tech definitely helped and every bein hazmanim I would struggle but every bein hazmanim I also got progressively better. Almost a year ago, during a bein hazamnim I noticed while I wasn’t watching porn I was looking at border line porn images and justifying this to myself as ok. I kept trying to stop but kept reverting to looking at explicit images. Some how during this time I found GYE and quit everything for 76 days. My longest streak while home. I eventually fell to suggestive images (but not porn). I went back to yeshiva and started another 50 streak and fell and then another 40 streak and fell. Now I’m home for good on a 60 day streak but I slipped up big on day 52 and looked at porn images for a sec. And I’m hanging on ever since. All my stuff has filters. The only way I got to porn was accidentally on family iPad but I’ve  blocked that link now and I’m refraining from using it. But it’s hard I understand it’s a struggle and there are times where I feel relief and not overburden with this struggle. But then there are times like this past week that are hell. 

Very impressive. You have done amazing work alone. Not so typical to have such success by yourself. BH.  With an accountability partner you can iyh break away completely. Worthwhile to get one. In addition, the book The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S gives a healthier perspective to this inyan. Continued hatzlocha!

If I may add, you write about sometimes being overwhelmed by the burden of the struggle, which is something that many people feel sometimes. And HHM wrote about getting an accountability partner. I'd like to add that having friends that are in the struggle with you is an amazing tool. Not friends that you are accountable to, just plain friends. That you shmooze with. That you kvetch to. That cry with you. That laugh with you. People that, like you, struggle or have struggled with porn and/or masturbation. People who understand what you face. People who can help you carry the burden. I really can't tell you enough how helpful it is to have friends here. Is it the comfortable thing to be open with others about the things we all try to hide? NO. But really, once you try it, you realize that people are not judging you, and it becomes that much easier. Personally, I've made some really great friendships here, friendships that have been helpful in areas totally unrelated to GYE topics
My friend, reach out and make some friends. 
And..............KEEP TRUCKING!

Thank you! I’m going to restart my counter and attempt a new 90 completely clean from anything. How can I get an accountability partner 

eerie wrote on 10 Apr 2024 18:46:

I second the motion.
Heck , I even third the motion.
Everyone even ol' Alastor here goes through hard times. 
Ive got me a few people in my  tellyphone that I talk(vent) to. It really helps
I'd bet my missing eye that if you try it you wont regret it it for one second 

How does an accountability partner work?

j1809090 wrote on 11 Apr 2024 22:28:

There's a program where you check in daily that you are keeping clean for 30 days and you get $100. There may be a way to sign up from the site. Reach out to @HashemHelpMe for details