I have been struggling, up and down, for 7 years now. I have gone through lots of challenges in life but they are ultimately excuses to find some kind of immediate gratification, to "numb" my pains. However, I am working a really good program of recovery now, up and more up for over two years. And super clean for almost 3 months. But the challenges of addiction and feeling of powerless over my desires, lust and wanting to connect are stronger than I am. But Hashem, is giving me the strength, one day at a time. I wish to connect with others and share my message of recovery, strength and hope - for my benefit, especially, as well as yours. 

I would love to give you advice but you are ahead of my on this journey but I would bet good money that some of the older guys are going to tell you to read the "battle of the generation".

AlwaysHappyAlwaysHopeful wrote on 05 Feb 2024 16:35:


Can you please share how you were able to be super clean for almost 3 months?

Thanks so much for sharing!

I have been in the trenches with this "battle of our generation." But I will take your advise in the name of the older guys and read "the battle of the generation." I have found the SA, especially certain people and places, and the Big Book to be very helpful. I am living a miracle. 

Of course, but this is only a start. I actually went to twice to two different rehabs, which did not help much for me. I did a lot of therapy, which did not help that much also. I did SA and SAA off and on for 7 years. But I had too many excuses and rationalizations. I needed to realize that I was truly powerless. I thought that submerging myself completely into Torah and Mitzvos, musar and tefilah would solve my problem, but I fell back into my trap. I really got serious in the SA program and finally found a sponsor who really understood me, have done a lot of prayer for Hashem to give me just one more clean day, contacting others in the program, reading the BIG BOOK very carefully and taking notes has been huge, working the steps and trying to help others. Additionally, someone actually got me to let go of "right hip" I mean my smartphone, even though it was filtered, but I could find my chatting drugs. It is nothing short of a miracle. And I realize that I am living one day a time. And I am very happy and hopeful, despite my many problems. 
I am interested in hearing about your story. Much hatzlocho.

AlwaysHappyAlwaysHopeful wrote on 05 Feb 2024 23:06:

Link is below in my signature.