Hey guys. 

married guy over here mid 30s
married with kids etc. 

going to post my journey here. 
today is day 12 for me. 
keepin the eye on the prize of increasing kedusha in my life By stopping to look at inappropriate things.

anyways today was a big deal for me as the wife was out of town which in the past has been a trigger due to the loneliness of her not being around. 
BH the day (and last night) went by with no struggles.
as I’m  by day 13 I am actually kind of nervous because I haven’t had the urges and other things that have set me off in the past. 
perhaps it’s the new mindset or the fact that I am more active on the site but while I am enjoying the calm state of my mind I still fear that the yetzer  hara is just regrouping to launch a counterattack on me. 
any thoughts on this?

will keep you guys posted on the journey. 

That is my biggest trigger. When my wife leaves or I am away on business or basically anytime I am alone. Did you do anything particular different this time that made you "win the day"?

Nothing specific. 

it’s weird. 

Happy you have some menuchas hanefesh.  Do you have an accountability partner that can help diffuse an urge if it "hits"?

Not yet, haven't been around here long enough to know how that would work out.

It's pretty simple. You have someone to reach out to for questions and chizuk, while also feeling responsible to report to that person. 

I also noticed that im especially vulnerable to falling when im feeling lonely. I found it helpful to acknowledge that i feel alone, and tell myself that its okay to feel that way, especially if its because i actually am alone. Then just tell myself that this feeling wont last forever and i just need to stay focused until it passes. I also found it helpful to tell someone else how i feel, usually over the chat on here. 

Learning to "kvetch" to a partner is actually a game changer. Sharing the discomforts of loneliness (and for that matter stress, boredom, rejection, etc. as well) may not be macho, but doing so keeps us clean. To put it bluntly - Release through your mouth, not through your penis.

And who exactly sets that up?
who would I reach out to?

Hashem Help Me wrote on 06 Nov 2023 21:14:

Bh masturbation isn’t my issue. 
haven’t done that in years. 
my issues are more fantasies and content that cloud my brain and waste my time. 

Bh. Seems like I made it through the wife’s trip without any falls or slips though I did have some small urges while reading through some old peoples posts that semi triggered me until I was able to get over that. 

thanks

You can either set one up yourself by shmoozing with someone youre comfortabke with or reach out to Hashemhelp me 
hes awesome

14 days for me thank god. 

had some thoughts and things but nothing lasting bh. 

16 days bh!

Hey guys 20 days for me. 

yesterday was a bit rough as this is the 1st niddah cycle I’m dealing with   

it also didn’t help that I ended up with access to instagram and ended up wasting time flipping through vids. Mostly sports and bbq stuff but their was the occasional other stuff that was on there that kind of started some old cues and urges until I was able to get past it and delete instagram. 

there was a filter on the device so bh get didn’t get to any explicit content but still is something that I need to work on for myself. 

Mazel tov on 20! And for myself personally, i treat Instagram the same as porn. Even the random stuff that are ‘clean‘ its a huge waste of my time and usually leads to porn, or at least want porn