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Building positive associations with holding back
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Building positive associations with holding back 201 Views

Building positive associations with holding back 29 Sep 2023 17:58 #401751

Hey everyone, first time posting on here. I've been working extremely hard on my shmiras habris for 3 years now using all sorts of techniques including all the gye stuff and I'm now BH on the longest streak of my life.  As we all know, one fall feels so much worse than one day of success feels good. I'm curious as to what techniques people have used to try and build neuropathways of simcha from each day of success. I have one that has personally been working for me recently that I'd like to share, but I'm curious to hear others answers first. Looking forward to your answers!

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 29 Sep 2023 18:02 #401752

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Whats yours?
Nothing good grows in the dark. 

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 01 Oct 2023 22:00 #401764

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Treating yourself with something special (even something small but meaningful) after a certain amount of days, it should be after 5-10 days
My thread: From two identities to True self

If you want to reachout to me to talk please email: wish2banonym@gmail.com

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 03 Oct 2023 05:15 #401805

So my technique is something that honestly works specifically for me and may not work for many people due to my spirituality style. But I tried last year to buy an expensive bottle of bourbon to celebrate 90 days and to motivate me but I ended up having my worst fall ever arguably (worst in amount of time but not worst things I've looked at) after 20 days, so this time after many more removals of triggers from my life and having new techniques to deal with triggers, I reset my sights on that bottle but I also printed out a 90 day calendar and put it on my wall and then I'd put two checks on it everyday, once in the early afternoon and once at night. Each time I check off the calendar I blast music that I really enjoy and connect spiritually to and I dance for about about 3 minutes with the biggest smile on my face and thanking Hashem for letting me be zoche to another half day of shmiras habris. This baruch Hashem has really helped me feel besimcha every day and when I feel urges I will reimagine myself either dancing or opening the bottle in celebration to rewire my neural pathways. I can say today that I've now been zoche to 4 weeks of shmiras habris after fighting for over 3 years at this point, it's unreal for me right now. May hashem allow me to continue this streak to 90 days and beyond!

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 03 Oct 2023 06:04 #401808

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Do you have an accountability partner?
Nothing good grows in the dark. 

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 03 Oct 2023 13:02 #401810

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Love yourself for every passing day that you fight the YH, even if sometimes it seems like he won.
You can win the fight, but I'll have to live with the loser.

Any excuse you use for yourself, you must be willing to use for your wife.

Not Always can I understand others, but I can always respect their wishes.

You're human, it's okay.

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 03 Oct 2023 13:22 #401811

sort of, I have a friend in yeshiva who I speak with about it all the time and keep up with him about my streaks. But I can't say it's a full accountability partner relationship
Last Edit: 03 Oct 2023 13:47 by Shabbosdikyid.

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 03 Oct 2023 16:54 #401829

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Try HHM. It is great to have a friend also, but accountability works!
Nothing good grows in the dark. 

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 03 Oct 2023 17:44 #401835

I hear, but tbh, I find that just having someone online who I speak to about these things is actually a trigger for me which is why I generally have stayed off the forums here and probably will continue to do so after this. Having one of my friends who I speak with in person about it so far has worked for me, something about the online medium and nature of the relationship being basically around this issue seems to be a trigger for me for whatever reason.

Re: Building positive associations with holding back 04 Oct 2023 00:19 #401849

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I dont mean online, reach out to HHM, you wont regret it!
Nothing good grows in the dark. 
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