dear friends,
I visited this sites a few times in the past 10 years or so.
I came to the site again a few days ago.
seeing that I cannot go on like this.
I started my 90 day journey!
I am telling myself I need to do it this Time.

Fightforfreedom wrote on 14 Aug 2023 16:36:

Please excuse my small edit of your post

I hope you are successful on your Journey to yourself... The point is recovery, not sobriety. We are spiritually sick people, take it one day at a time making actions of getting closer to Hashem. We are here to support you, be honest where you are holding with us. Don't beat yourself AT ALL only observe yourself that way you will learn more about you. If ANYTHING goes wrong simply underline it and move on. I am speaking from experience of the 12 steps and it has worked for me. See how you go on this platform, I personally came to a point this time last year where I knew I couldn't do it anymore and felt helpless, I gave up. That was the ticket for me seeing the bracha of a friend realising my situation and he said to me his story and how the program helped him. I said to myself I am going to try go without the program for a month, if I can be clean then I won't go. naturally I couldn't hold myself for a week. I finally came to the program and BH I am now 1 week away from a years sobriety. But I found sobriety only through recovery, working on myself, discovering what makes me tick and what tools I can use to mitigate them. The tools mentioned above are some great ones. 
Whichever way you go I hope you find what works best for you.
All the best,

Thank you so much

Dear friends,

I am up to day 2 
Please reply with any encouragement 
Or anything else

Hi there! 
You NEED TO and YOU CAN! 
Not for anyone else but yourself, living this way (steeped in p&m etc.) is not living, as everyone on this site is here for exactly that reason. Try to put yourself in an objective position to view yourself from an outsiders view of the whole you and see what needs work, not via negative behaviors, but via the negative aspects that are within each and every one of us, and you’ll see that it leads to negative behaviors. Changing your life to be a better person will help you change your actions, not the other way around. Although I don’t want to ch”v negate positive actions, in long term perspective the goal is being a better person not only acting like a better person.
As one of the שיירי כנסת הגדולה of this site, cords will tell you,
Godspeed’

Try to put yourself in an objective position to view yourself from an outsiders view of the whole you and see what needs work, 

Just tried doing this today.

Thank you shmira101

How did it work out for you?


Due to the fact that it is now Elul, I will elaborate a drop of the meaning of this.
Der Heilege Reb Yisroel Salanter Ztz”l was very much focused on this point of looking at yourself in a totally objective way to work on perfection, we call it “Mussar B’Hispalus”, meaning to create an energy in the mussar that lets the person peel away the layers of self and expose the Neshama in a way that there is a unity of the body and the Neshama.
(One of the main reasons why the proponents of the Mesilas Yeshorim were such staunch supporters is because he doesn’t base the Sefer on actions, but on outlook that naturally betters the actions.)

"trying again" means winning again. The moment we decide we want something better, and we believe we can get to something better, we are already winning. That is the Ikar.
When we are surrounded by so much impurity, it is easy to feel that seeing that "stuff" and doing that "stuff" is normal and necessary. But deep down we never forget that it is not. 
By deciding to win again, we are bringing that truth up, so its not just deep down, hidden inside. We are making it the truth that we live by. We are choosing to fight for freedom. And I'll let you in on a secret. You've chosen to join the winning team. You're investing in stocks that are guaranteed to go up. WAY UP. 
Every day that goes by, and every time we turn our eyes away, we are making that beautiful, hopeful vision of life become more of a reality. 
Noone is perfect, but we can also choose, right now, to be a little better, to take one more step toward Kedushah. We can choose the right now, I'm giving up what is comfortable and familiar and letting go of my limitations for something that I know is my true desire and fulfillment.