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The journey begins here
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: The journey begins here 4701 Views

The journey begins here 23 Mar 2009 03:33 #3980

  • poshut yid
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Today is the end of day 3 so officially I can get on the Wall. My intention is to post a daily report so that I have to take responsibility and be accountable. I can think of no one better to be accountable to then you my friends.
Please bear with me andhelp me on this incredibly difficult journey.
P.Y.
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Re: The journey begins here 23 Mar 2009 13:34 #3985

  • the.guard
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Welcome back to the wall!

I sense a new determination in your "voice".

May you be zoche to true "Pashtus" - without sin!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: The journey begins here 24 Mar 2009 04:05 #4007

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Thank you! I am determined to do this, one day at a time! Today completed day 4 and B'"H I did not have any nissyonos. I was able to stay focused at work and did not stray on the computer. I also fixed the K9 filter and set it to the highest setting. I know I have to get rid of the password or I will be in trouble but I am nervous that I wont be able to access things for work!
P.Y.
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Re: The journey begins here 25 Mar 2009 15:14 #4067

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I was supposed to update you at the end of the day yesterday but I was unable to get onto the computer in private.
I succesfully completed 5 days yesterday. I am trying to keep focused at work so that I don't have too much spare time on my hands! B"H i have not had any urges and I don't know how I will handle it, but until then I will take as many clean days as I can get and build on the momentum.
Thank you for being there!
P.Y.
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Re: The journey begins here 25 Mar 2009 19:21 #4105

  • Ykv_schwartz
It is truly a great feeling to be free from urges.  Hashem, in his great kindness, has allowed me to go 50 days now without any urges.  And I daven to last for the rest of my life.  And I pray that he grants you the same to you. May it only continue.

During these great high days for you, I would like to make two suggestions to further the growth.  Let me know if you think I am overstepping my boundaries by advising. 
1) Daven to Hashem to never let you have those urges again.  Tell him how much you hated those urges and you do not want them back.  Daven to Hashem that if Chas v'Shalom, he urges come back at any point you will have the koach and wisdom to do properly deal with it and not succumb.
2) Think practically now. Ask yourself, what would I do if that menuval would visit me again.  What would I do as to not fail again. Meaning, plan ahead.
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Re: The journey begins here 25 Mar 2009 22:24 #4127

  • the.guard
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Besides keeping focused on work, keep focused that G-d is in your heart.

Batteleworn posted today:

An addict tends to think of his world consisting of "me and the lust", with Hashem being somewhere far away getting "annoyed" and perhaps "frustrated" with me.

From R' Tzvi Meir I learned -and we all can and must learn- that my world consists of just "Hashem and me", with the lust trying to get between us and interfere with the greatest love that exists.


Keep up the good work!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: The journey begins here 26 Mar 2009 00:25 #4130

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Who is R' Tzvi Meir?
B"H I started amud yomi this week and have been going to shacharis everyday and davening mincha. Except today I missed mincha! But completed day 6
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Re: The journey begins here 26 Mar 2009 06:46 #4132

  • me
I know I have to get rid of the password or I will be in trouble but I am nervous that I wont be able to access things for work!
P.Y.


Poshit Yid:

  I understand your concerns of not having all of the internet available to you, BUT......it is impossible not to fall when you yourself are holding the password. I was going to write that it is "practically" impossible, but, no....it is impossible. As long as you and your y'h know that at any time the "P" is still available, then, in that moment of weakness the inevitable will take place.

I understand your worries, and I was there as well, but you must put your trust in Hashem, that by making this strong geder, (giving the pswd to someone else), then Hashem will not make you lose out on anything. And, anyway, if you need to make a small change or to access something, your paswd holder can do it with you while using the software that allows them to see your screen.

Guard can give you the url on how to do this, and where to get the software to allow him/someone to do this with/for you.

Hatzlachah
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Re: The journey begins here 28 Mar 2009 23:13 #4213

  • the.guard
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Poshut, I updated your chart to 9 days. Welcome back to Level 2.
Please confirm.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: The journey begins here 29 Mar 2009 16:10 #4233

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Thank you very much. I am pleased to report that I have kept my side of the deal and today is day #10.  y goal is to get through this week. As we get closer to Pesach I am hoping to gai more chizzuk and get to Pesach clean. I just want to make smll goals for myself so I do not get overwhelmed!
P.Y.
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Re: The journey begins here 29 Mar 2009 18:44 #4237

  • the.guard
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Don't make any goals. Just for today, remain clean!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: The journey begins here 31 Mar 2009 11:59 #4280

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B'H I managed to stay clean yesterday and completed day 10. Today is day 11 and although I do not know what is in store my goal is to keep busy and not let my mind entice to do things I should not do. I just want to make it through the day and be able to tell the phone group tonight that I am still clean!
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Re: The journey begins here 31 Mar 2009 12:04 #4281

  • the.guard
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You are Poshut amazing!!

What do you think of the Chizuk e-mails of the past few days (the 12-Step series)? Do you relate to it? Have you considered joining a 12-Step SA group in your area?
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: The journey begins here 31 Mar 2009 12:18 #4283

  • Binyomin5766
Keeping busy is a good goal to have.  It is one that has done well for me.  Here at my work desk I have assorted projects that I am working on, Breslev radio playing over the internet (most days, sometimes our network gets too bogged down), a volume of Mishnah sitting next to me (for lunchtime), and a junior programmer in the office who needs a lot of handholding. 

Additionally, I am trying to track what is happening on this board.  By the end of the day I'm really tired, and I go to bed and fall asleep in a matter of moments.  So for me also, busy is a very good plan.
Last Edit: 31 Mar 2009 15:42 by .

Re: The journey begins here 01 Apr 2009 02:14 #4302

  • poshut yid
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I managed to stay clean today and did not give in. I did have problems controlling my eyes on the street and in the gym. But the main thing is I am staying away from the computer.
One day at a time!
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