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Having a rough time
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Having a rough time 825 Views

Having a rough time 13 Jan 2023 20:52 #390846

  • mount whitney
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Hi everyone I've been here for a couple years now. When I first joined I did great was clean for months straight, but recently I've been falling a lot I literally can't stay clean. The most I get is like 10 days at a time. I'm hoping to restart now and with hashems help I'll stay clean.thanks for listening.

Day 1

Re: Having a rough time 15 Jan 2023 05:20 #390865

  • yud909
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How’s it going Mt Whitney? 
keep on posting, let us know how it goes day by day 

I found it helped for me 

Re: Having a rough time 16 Jan 2023 00:38 #390899

  • mount whitney
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Thanks Bh holding by day 3 the challenge really gets hard around day 5 or 6. I have very restless hands so if I'm walking or doing something I am fine it's when I go to bed or when I'm sitting and reading (unfortunately even while learning) that's when the touching begins.... 

Re: Having a rough time 16 Jan 2023 16:25 #390912

  • eerie
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keep posting, my friend. Stay connected and let us know how you are doing. We care for you and are here for you. Keep trucking!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com
Last Edit: 16 Jan 2023 16:25 by eerie.

Re: Having a rough time 18 Jan 2023 00:58 #390969

  • mount whitney
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Thanks bh holding by day 5 it's starting to get harder but I'm optimistic. Honestly my goal for now is 30 days although it doesn't seem like a lot for me it seems completely out of reach. I have a big prize for that day. I really hope I'll get there. The root of my masturbation habit is my fantasizing but for heavens sake I just can't stop. Help!!

Re: Having a rough time 18 Jan 2023 01:58 #390974

  • yud909
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Hang in there, it gets easier. 
Not easy but easier. 
Also recommend reading Battle of Generation (available on GYE). Can’t say I read too much of it but what I did read was great. 

Re: Having a rough time 18 Jan 2023 03:53 #390986

  • eerie
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5 holy days! 5 days of fighting with the YH and being mekadeish shem shomayim! Keep it up my holy friend! I second the motion of reading the book, and your point about fantasizing is the cue for our dear friend Reb NumberLetters&Symbols to speak up. There are lots of tools on here to help, for me the greatest game changer was speaking to somebody who got me, and could give me advice exactly for what I needed. If and when you're ready for that PM me and I'll give you some ideas. Keep posting my friend!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: Having a rough time 20 Jan 2023 01:01 #391080

  • mount whitney
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Bh made it to day 7 not without it's challenges but still clean. I skirt a lot with danger if you know what I mean I'm afraid it's gonna take me down. I just have such a hard time not touching at all it's almost like impossible 

Re: Having a rough time 20 Jan 2023 04:30 #391088

  • eerie
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A holy week! Keep it up! Sounds like you know the score, my friend. We are here for you, we care, and we want to hear. Keep posting and KEEP TRUCKING!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: Having a rough time 23 Jan 2023 00:44 #391140

  • mount whitney
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Bh made it to 10 days a 3rd of the way to 30 days. I'm really hoping I make it through, although I'm too scared to be optimistic only to  land with a thud .... Had that happen way too many times and it's very hard and draining.

Re: Having a rough time 23 Jan 2023 06:06 #391158

  • eerie
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My dear friend, it is so important to work with goals, the way you do. But you must also remember that any amount of time that you stay clean is yours forever. For some funny reason I see many people post on the forum that they stayed clean a few hundred days, and then they fell, "and it all went down the drain". That is plain silly. Anything you accomplish is yours forever, and nothing you do wrong after that takes it away. You have 10 holy days! Forever yours. If you think of it like this the YH will have a much harder time getting you to feel the thud. Keep trucking my holy friend, and keep posting! We want to hear!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: Having a rough time 30 Jan 2023 01:25 #391389

  • mount whitney
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Bh made it to 17 days.  Its getting a little better I'm having a drop of a easier time even though I had a totally rotten day. 

Re: Having a rough time 02 Feb 2023 23:09 #391531

  • mount whitney
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bh made it to 21 days, still struggling a lot though. It seems  although I managed to stay clean all this time, I am constantly lusting and fantasizing I just can't stop I feel it's only a matter of time. Obviously each day I am clean is important and chashuv but my real issue is fantasizing. I really need eitzos how to stop. A lot of it is because I am trying to escape certain difficult feelings and its not that simple to deal with those issues, in many ways I do need to escape sometimes although it does not make the issues better it does help me cope with them. I hope all this makes sense thanks for listening.

Re: Having a rough time 02 Feb 2023 23:40 #391537

  • frank.lee
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I've seen some great ideas and tools here.

One idea to try:
When you start fantasizing, start to think instead about what you would do if you win a million dollars?

Re: Having a rough time 05 Feb 2023 01:27 #391574

  • mount whitney
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Unfortunately I fell. It really sucks. If there is one good thing that came out of this streak its that I realized its doable even in my current situation.  Gonna try again.  
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