5 holy days! 5 days of fighting with the YH and being mekadeish shem shomayim! Keep it up my holy friend! I second the motion of reading the book, and your point about fantasizing is the cue for our dear friend Reb NumberLetters&Symbols to speak up.

There are lots of tools on here to help, for me the greatest game changer was speaking to somebody who got me, and could give me advice exactly for what I needed. If and when you're ready for that PM me and I'll give you some ideas. Keep posting my friend!