5 holy days! 5 days of fighting with the YH and being mekadeish shem shomayim! Keep it up my holy friend! I second the motion of reading the book, and your point about fantasizing is the cue for our dear friend Reb NumberLetters&Symbols to speak up.
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There are lots of tools on here to help, for me the greatest game changer was speaking to somebody who got me, and could give me advice exactly for what I needed. If and when you're ready for that PM me and I'll give you some ideas. Keep posting my friend!