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Kol haschalos kashos
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Kol haschalos kashos 221 Views

Kol haschalos kashos 14 Nov 2022 00:15 #387667

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Bh I've made it to day 12. It's been a very long while since the last time I've made it even a week. So I'm  very pleased about that. This is how it's going:

Bh I feel great at the end of every day and honestly "tahor". During the day however it's been hard. My learnings taking a toal and I feel overall more tired and worn out. This is a lot of mental (and physical) work and I wish I can just tell people that im literally in middle of fighting a war. The Yetzer Hara made my night Seder chavrusa break up with me today. It's totally my fault for not being involved in shiur and not showing up as much as I usually do. He's trying to make me regret this for reasons that are "kosher". I will not give in.Hopefully things start looking up for me. I don't plan on giving up. Just hoping it starts getting easier and less intrusive on my whole day. 
Anyone have any tips for dealing with the empty emotional feelings that I'm experiencing throughout the day? Almost like p&m withdrawals? 
thank you. 

Re: Kol haschalos kashos 14 Nov 2022 19:44 #387713

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First of all hello!! 
How about figuring out what's causing your emptiness and then learning how to fill the space in a healthy way?
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Kol haschalos kashos 14 Nov 2022 19:56 #387715

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Hey! Thanks for the response. I mean It could be that I've just gotten used to the constant rush of dopamine and pleasure day in and day out that I feel like I'm lacking now. I would assume that subconsciously it was a way for me to kind of escape and go to a "safe place" and relax. Now that I don't have that I'm missing something. 
I just feel that whatever I'm genna do instead won't have the same affect. What would be a good place to start?

Re: Kol haschalos kashos 14 Nov 2022 20:02 #387716

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Well i don't have ideas because i don't think that's really the process that works. (by getting told ideas) You have got to figure out the feeling of emptiness yourself, and ask yourself how in your specific world you can start filling it up. 
So let me turn that question back on you. What does the emptiness feel like? what is it telling you? A social emptiness? a physical nurturing emptiness?
A too little sleep emptiness? An i don't feel fulfilled emptiness? Once we figure that out we can move on to the next step of figuring out how to fill up the emptiness. What do you think?
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Kol haschalos kashos 14 Nov 2022 21:39 #387720

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Human being wrote on 14 Nov 2022 20:02:
Well i don't have ideas because i don't think that's really the process that works. (by getting told ideas) You have got to figure out the feeling of emptiness yourself, and ask yourself how in your specific world you can start filling it up. 
So let me turn that question back on you. What does the emptiness feel like? what is it telling you? A social emptiness? a physical nurturing emptiness?
A too little sleep emptiness? An i don't feel fulfilled emptiness? Once we figure that out we can move on to the next step of figuring out how to fill up the emptiness. What do you think?

Hi, @21andclean…I relate so well to what you are saying about the emptiness. I have it too. And I think my dear chaver @human being is correct. It is much better if you try to imagine for yourself what filling that hole means and what it will take. For me that dive into porn fantasy and masturbation with the release that accompanied was like a drug I took constantly for decades. It really is like a withdrawal. I’m not sure there is an easy answer. If there were, none of us would be here helping each other. But we will help you as much as we can! Hatzlacha. Keep posting and keeping the conversation going. That makes a huge difference. 

Re: Kol haschalos kashos 15 Nov 2022 13:17 #387754

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Hey! Thank you! Feels good that I can come on here and relate to others about what I'm experiencing! Still working on how to fill in that void. First things first im starting to really live on a schedule. I feel that for myself at least developing a really solid routine will help me snap back into it. (Davening at the same times every day, waking up and going to sleep at the same time, etc.) once I develop a routine maybe I'll be able to see with clarity where I can add in new healthy activities, and if not atleast I'll be on a routine!
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