Hey friends, I am not new here, I am coming from a 327-day strike, but now I am at number 3. Period.

I am taking the challenge to write and post for 90 (working) days.

You see this all the time on social media; people will try to write for x amount of days so they get some attention.

I do this to ensure I am not getting comfortable and think I am okay. NO! I still need to work on myself to make sure that I am clean.

DISCLAIMER: You don't need to read; it's perfectly okay; I am writing to myself and helping ME. Sorry, I am not ready to help you yet first, let me get the next 70 years clean, and then I'll think of helping others.

Okay here I go:

I am wondering why and why, after being convinced that Shmutz is not good, not only not good, it's running my life, and making me feel miserable, then why am I still lusting and willing to look for it?

I am driving down the road; I am in a non-Jewish area, and I am hoping to see something to feed my desire.

Are you nuts? Are you for real? What are you waiting for? 

STOP! STOP! STOP!

Don't you realize that you'll be much more happy and more satisfied by thinking about clean stuff?

Don't you know that you feel like a different person after a few weeks clean?

Don't you realize that NOT everything is shmutz?

Enough for today.

Have you all an amazing day!

That is an incredible intention you have set. You should be granted abundant strength and motivation to achieve it!

Posting Day 2#

Good morning diary.

I got up this morning and asked myself, am I planning another day clean? Not so sure; it's way too hard!

While driving on the way to my office, I listened to something really inspiring on this topic, and now I am thinking, I wish my eyes will be clean for ever!

I am ready to work on it!

I will do whatever it takes to stay clean!

Will I ever think like this? 

Not sure, but it's okay.

I want to be CLEAN today!

Tonight before I go to bed, I want to be able to mark my accountability chart with a green check confirming that my Eyes are CLEAN for the day!

Clean means that when I am on the street, I will look away from any woman, even the most modest one!

Clean means that when I go soon visit all the websites, I go to every single day, I will NOT look at all these potential triggering pictures, and I am not speaking about the bad ones; I mean the plain pictures which would trigger a person who is not in my position but for me it's poison!

I will daven to Hashem and ask him for a gift, I WANT TO BE CLEAN even I don't feel so, but please give me this gift!

I am so stupid that I don't really want it; my instincts really want to get my eyes dirty, but I know that I am not right, so I am begging by Hashem.

PLEASE!!!

If you're still reading.... Have a great day!

Good morning Diary.

Welcome to day 3# of writing.

Today, I am pumped about guarding my eyes, BH; I know that everything depends on that.

If I keep my eyes clean, I will have a successful day in business.

If I keep my eyes clean, my mood will stay good, and I will be happy.

If I keep my eyes clean, my relationship with my wife will continue to blossom.

If I keep my eyes clean, I will have a חן in other people's eyes.

If I keep my eyes clean, I will be the real ME.

Hashem! Help me! Watch my eyes! I can't do it myself! Please!

May we all have an amazing day!

I hate to pour cold water on this, but it sounds like your setting yourself up for disappointment. Almost none of these things are guaranteed.

This is the only one that's hard to argue with: If I keep my eyes clean, I will be the real ME.

Success comes from Hashem. Reward for doing good is not immediate...
Still need to control your mood.
Relationship with wife depends on many other factors, not least of which, your wife herself.

Be honest with yourself. Wishing you much hatzlacha.

yechielmichel wrote:

If you hate to pour cold water, then don't do it. PERIOD.

Yes, you're right, Success comes from Hashem. Reward for doing good is not immediate...

BUT, to explain to myself, It was all written based on my experience. I had LONG streaks in the past, and these were the results I have gotten in my clean days.

I became successful, I doubled my income in one year, and I was already making six figures BH.

I was much happier since my eyes were not lusting all day.

I loved my wife much more; I was not looking on the streets for others... Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side....

You wrote "I became successful, I doubled my income in one year, and I was already making six figures BH". That's great but many people here can attest to the fact that it's not guaranteed and that past performance is not an indicator of future results. When I had my longest streak, my income crashed.


I think what yechielmichel is trying to say is, that if all the reasons motivating you to do  this are external, what happens if you lose that reason or it doesn't pan out the way you thought it would?



If you really believed that at least 100K of income was directly tied to your streak, what ended it?

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 03 Aug 2022 19:58:

Not sure if y'all read the disclaimer - Mr. Striving to be good seems to be in a good place and he never asked for anyone's help.
He has his plan and is sticking to it.
Respect.

Yup, know all about it. Just goes to show how we gotta do real internal work (somehow). The things we'll do/give up on to get our fix very often outweigh everything else. Hatzlocha on the journey.

Striving to be good wrote on 03 Aug 2022 18:40:

I didn’t read your post history before I posted. I wanted to step in just because to me it looked like someone really just setting himself up for disappointment.

looking at your post history, I see that your prefer a certain style of positive posting. It not my style personally so I different things work for us and that’s fine.

I didn’t see any reflect on what led to your fall and what you’ll change. That’s something that I would do. I guess we’re different in that way too.

Respectfully, and with best wishes for your success 

ps… if you can teach me something about how to make a 6 digit income id appreciate it

Posting day 3

Good morning.

Today, I'll write about the gift of having the ability to keep my eyes clean.

There was once a man who was going on vacation, touring the world, and visiting all different places and countries. 

One of the most exciting places on his trip itinerary was that beautiful place where he could see that amazing view of 7 states!

The challenge was that since the specific spot where he would be able to see that view was so high, it was impossible to get a clear view, and he needed particular binoculars to be able to see.

Before starting his trip, he did the proper research and spent a tremendous amount of money to get the best out there.

The day arrived, and he started that hike in the woods; he climbed higher and higher; he was super excited and couldn't wait for that minute that he would be able to get that fantastic view.

To be continued...

just reading about wanting money in exchange to be lust free, this reminds me back in the days when I tried again and again and again to stop lusting but i was not successful

then I started buying stocks then options and I came on here on this website and wrote a whole think how i promise to be clean and stop watching shmotz but I ask god to make my options make money, some of the fellows here wrote back that I need a real motivation etc but if I want to use god as a gift creator machine then i am in to be doomed i thought those people have no idea what they are talking about because for me at that time this was a problem of the size of an egg but today when i know that to measure my problem i need a mashing stick of lightyears and lightyears then i understand why i was silly

Posting day 5#

Let me make it short and sweet, as we are all busy getting ready for Shabbos.

I will work this weekend to be CLEAN.

Have a wonderful shabbos!