B"H
Hard
But I don't have money to fall back into it...
​I wonder, if I somehow had endless money, would I care... because the main reason for which I'm trying to quit free p, is that it will surely - as it has in the past - lead me right back to paid p, and I want to buy some stuff like computers and phones, and have no money, and spending for p won't ever be "enough", I will always want to spend more and more, and I'll never be able to get my new shiny stuff...

But if I had endless money and therefore could afford all the new gadgets, and to pay for p, would I anyway want to quit?

Who knows...

Mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma. KUTGW!

Is the only thing your trying to quit, just porn? Are you trying to quit masturbation and lusting in general as well?

​What are the behaviors that are causing you to turn to porn? why isn't free porn enough for you? 

Mainly yes

mast no, but quitting p clearly has made it less often, for now

lusting means what?

boredom sadness tiredness 

paid means I can ask for what I want in real time to a real person or people, which I think causes a drive of power and connection which cannot quite be found in free

01 wrote on 26 Jul 2022 16:04:

Lust means desiring or craving sexually. So if your fantasizing or  viewing arousing things, it's going to be very hard to stop watching porn or masturbating. You're always going to have feelings of boredom, sadness and tiredness. It's how you deal with those feelings that you can change.

Do you want to stop any of that or are you just looking to save a few dollars?

Viewing arousing things sounds like p to me, so no I don’t do that now

not sure what to do about those feelings as of now 

Initially goal was to stop spending money. A few dollars doesn’t sound like a lot. Try $3000, over the months etc.

And since free p clearly brings me right back to paid, I hope to be done with that too.

so no, I don’t sit and look at arousing videos or pics, I consider that equal to free p

And while I would like to quit free p forever, even if I don’t, but I somehow manage to cut paid completely, that’s already major. Spending money I don’t have was (obviously) destroying my life.

Keep up the good work!

Here is what I am trying to say.

1-Saving money alone is obviously not enough of a motivating factor for you to stop as you've seen in the past. So unless you have a stronger reason to stop, how is this time going to be any different than in the past?

2-Viewing arousing things means anything that stimulates your desires. it could be fully dressed women or even your imagination both of which are different than porn.