Hey, unbelievable that you made it so far in the past but here's a question.
you wrote you don't feel guilty about falling any more because you know you can make it to 90 days again. If you didn't know you can make it to 90 days, would you then start feeling guilty all of a sudden? What does the number 90 have to do with anything?
Also, it seems like right now your stuck and can't make it to 90 so you should feel guilty but you don't because you once made it to 90.
I think you have to think about three things...
#1 do you want to stop
#2 WHY do you want to stop
#3 (assuming you answered yes to #1 and found your why) What behaviors are causing you to fall
B'hatzlocha