I have recently come across this website and am trying to utilize its tools. My question is how do I know if I am being real about starting down this path to change, as appose to being here pretending I'm "working on it" while knowing to next challenge will knock me down?

great question. it is possible that you won't know that for a while. However, don't let that stop you because the goal right now is to focus on what is in front of us. Today is in front of us. Let's do something to change for today. Use the tools and the chevra here to make wise choices. hopefully you will see yourself changing as you move along.

It took me about 4 to 5 months to be confident that i was doing something with a very lasting impact. That does not mean i will be complacent, it just means i no longer worry that this is a temporary inspiration.

I would assume that everyone is different in this regard.

Good question. I'm only ~40 days in or so but what gives me comfort is to ask myself whether what I'm doing now is sustainable for the next 5, 10 years, the rest of my life.

When I first joined I wasn't so sure but reading the forums and doing some introspection (I wrote a bit on my thread) has helped me gain that perspective. Having a GYE mentor is the icing on the cake for me.

If it helps you...
1) Accepting that this will never fully go away 
2) By the same token every second is shemira and ratzon Hashem so I'm constantly progressing. I think this is important and flips the script on the 'constant battle without moving' trap
- and by the same token I think this allows me to better access a one day at a time mindset since each day is so important in the eyes of Hashem
- over time the one day at a time accumulates and I gain satisfaction from that but importantly it's mostly a rear view mirror rather than looking through the windshield at the mountains ahead
3) Recognizing when I'm entering a funk and immediately trying to address either by relaxing, exercising (browsing GYE...) etc.
4) Filtering of course and being strong enough not to test the filters. In my opinion if you're testing your filters then either you need more safeguards or you need additional mindset work
5) Rearranging my thoughts on intimacy (great resources on this site for this)
6) Over time together with my therapist addressing the areas of my life that need work (wife, kids, work etc.) since the stress from these is what really drives me to porn and masturbation. This also allows to feel like I'm on a constant growth trajectory instead of stopping at P&M since at least for me that's really a piece of a bigger puzzle.
7) Adding later. Saying the pasuk Lev Tahor over and over when I see pritzus in street. Heard about this in a R' Pinkus shiur on shemiras einayim. I think it comes from the Mishna Brura. I think aside from the segula of the pasuk it also gives me a feeling of actively addressing the issue rather than just passive aversion of eyes.

For me, I have times I feel like I’m on track, but sometimes I get a feeling that the lust is creeping in.

So I try to refocus, practice some tools, review F2F.

But what keeps me going is, I cannot do anything now for tomorrow, and not for a minute ago, but I could do for now, so what difference does it make what’s gonna be tomorrow, I’m living today, what’s going to be tomorrow, I will see tomorrow.

And remember the day you were alive (clean) is yours forever.

Hatzlacha !!!!

BentchKvatcher wrote on 06 Jul 2022 20:43:

In my personal opinion, anyone who is posting on this site is definitely being real about going down the path to change. There is no other reason why someone would post on an anonymous forum. It’s not like you’re getting any fame for this. None of us have any idea who you really are. So, i really believe that you are on the path to change! You have 23 days clean already!! If that’s not on the path of change, then i don’t know what is.
I don’t know why you wrote “while knowing the next challenge will knock me down”. You must have had some challenges of the last three weeks and you managed to stay clean through them. You can definitely face your next challenge! What’s the difference between day 23 and day 24. And for that matter what’s the difference between day 24 and day 25 ואין לדבר סוף… sometimes it will be hard, but you can push through. So, there’s no reason to assume that the next challenge will knock you down. You got to get rid of that mindset. The mindset should be that sometimes it will be hard but i do have the strength to push through and tell your yetzer hara that if you managed to get 23 days clean, then you will be able to get 230 and 2300 clean also! It’s one day at a time!
hope to keep hearing from you and sharing in your hatzlacha!!!
-face the challenge