Behaviors I am committing to stop-

       Going online to see any inappropriate pictures or videos.

       Masturbation.

My reasons for wanting to stop-

       My wife, I love and care about her and this hurts her tremendously. The hardest part for                                    her is she mamash doesn't know what it is, the causes and challenge of it. As well as the fact that she is the only being that my attraction and sexual energy should be connected with.

       My children, I want them to have a committed and dedicated father, and this problem has the potential to cause a downward spiral resulting in me not being there for them.

       My frumkeit.

       My learning which gets very shterred evrytime I have a Nafilah.

       My emotional health takes a toll as I fall into these cycles of falling feeling guilty and trying to pump myself back up.

       I think I am starting to understand that as infrequent as this may be, any level of struggle in this area points to a real problem that must be worked on to overcome.

      My relationship with myself, I dont want to ever be dishonest with my self about where I am holding.

My plan-

       Although this was my plan last time as well, I would like to try to go for the 90 days albeit this time while keeping track on the website. I think that I must focus more on the fact that I struggle with this and I am in the middle of working through it as opposed to how in the past when I'm doing well I tend to ‘’forget’’ I'm a struggler.

       Keep the updates with my wife every 2 weeks, once a month prompted by me and once by her. But as opposed to it just being a simple yes or know try to give her a drop more detail, more of a dialog.

      Think of all the loopholes I may have in my tech and how to block them.

Wonderful that you are really working on a full plan. Being fully aware of the nisayon is the first step in dealing with it and it seems like you have worked on that. I wish I had that awareness when I was your age.

I’m not certain what you mean by keeping the updates with your wife. Do you mean discussing your nisyonos with her? If so be careful that she should not take on the role of mashgiach in either yours or her eyes. In my opinion that can be damaging to a relationship.

If you want to take your battle to the next level you can get a mentor or partner from this site. Being able to verbalize out loud when you are successful and when you fall can be a very powerful tool.

Kol hakovod and Hatzlocha rabba
Vehkam

I have a post that can help you do this and the link to it is in my signature. I've been down the path of frantically looking for loopholes and also fixing them after a fall. To do this though you'll have to get some or all of the free filters I listed in the post depending on the types of devices you have but all of them are compatible with paid filters like gentech, nativusa, netspark, techloq etc. And I believe that even if everyone has the above filters, it's still necessary to get the free filters in the post because they get rid of many loopholes that exist with the paid filters listed above, and I put in the post how they should be set up in order to that. All of them also add very nice accountability features which allows the person you set as the filter manager to view your browsing activity, and this itself should decrease the desire to "test" the filters for potential loopholes.

Welcome !!!

 Amazing post, sounds like you really put on your boots and gloves and ready to work.

It’s not just venting that you would want to stop, you’re in the process of stopping. That’s amazing and is a big step.

But I asked myself I always wanted to stop, why is it going to happen now, more pressure etc. to me it doesn’t look like it, because we are risking so much already, we risk our marriage etc. and we don’t stop.

So I started some tools from SMART or F2F and it was a big game changer. To me learning mindfulness, and urge surfing was the thing, because when you use will power it builds up, and the pile becomes bigger and bigger, but when your mindful you don’t push away the urge it gets evaporated.

Wishing you HATZLACHA !!!

NO MASK

And after your gonna feel more in control of your urges, and you are not going to identify them as YOU, you’re going to change your username from bentchkvetcher to respected yungerman